Saturday, April 30, 2011

Feeling stylish

I want to thank Sarah for nominating me for the stylish blogger award. It is nice to feel loved : )

The way it works: 
Give a shout out to the person who nominated you
              Share 7 things about yourself
               Pass the award on and nominate 10 others

I know you're dying to find out more about me, so here goes:

1. I am a huge sarcastic punk. Not many people get to see this side of me, but my hubby wants to kill me some days. He has this laugh that comes out when I crack a joke that only he would get. 

2. I am obsessed with  taking pictures of flowers and flowering trees in the spring. I think it is because our winter's are so long and grey that when the colors start to bloom I get excited. When I look back at my iphoto albums for the past few years, each spring I take lots of pictures. During the rest of the year I don't take many pictures. I especially love Magnolia trees and really want to get one for our yard. 
3. I wanted to become a mormon when I was a kid. I had this friend whose family was mormon and so happy so I thought that was the ticket. This was right after my parents got divorced. 

4. I can't stand to eat the same stuff day after day. My hubby will eat the same thing for breakfast and lunch for months without getting sick of it. That being said, I could eat soup any time of year. Hot 90 degree day, I'll have some soup. 

5. Adoption runs in my family. My mom and dad were both adopted, by sister's fiance is adopted, and I have an adopted little brother. 

6. The center stone on my engagement ring is from my husband's great grandmother. He got the stone and I was able to pick out the setting. One day when I was switching stuff in my trunk for work the center stone popped out because my hand got stuck. I freaked out since it wasn't insured (at that time), but I was able to find it. 

7. I still hold the high school record for the pole vault at 8'. I ran into the coach not so long ago and he told me I have nothing to worry about. 

I think I will skip nominating others since it seems like most of the blogs I follow have received it. Thanks again Sarah and hoping this IUI works for you!

Friday, April 29, 2011

IUI #2 CD 1 (a new plan)

This morning when my period still hadn't arrived I started to get nervous (since I made an appointment with my RE to talk about our next cycle) and a little excited. I got out my HPT and went for it. When I wiped, there was a little bit of blood on the toilet paper. My response? Someone is laughing and it's not me! Oh well, I knew this cycle didn't work so I was ready to get AF and move on to the next cycle. I was just bummed I wasted the test because I didn't even have to look at the result to know it was negative. 
We had our appointment this afternoon and I left feeling so much better about things. It seems like when  I ask I tend to get what I want. I never complain about getting what I want, that's for sure (just ask my hubby). We talked about the next cycle and my RE gave me a few options and leaned a certain way with his opinion. He said that we could up the dose of Clomid and try that again (although he didn't think it was that great of an idea to try it again), we could do injectables and another IUI, or we could do IVF. We talked the most about doing another IUI using injectables this time. He said it would include more monitoring (blood work and more ultrasounds) and I felt most comfortable trying another IUI given different circumstances. 

 So, we will start Gonal-F on Sunday (CD 3) at 75 IU's/day. I will go in on Tuesday for a baseline ultrasound and to check my hormone levels. I am really happy with our new plan and hoping for some good follies this time. I'm pretty sure if we aren't successful this cycle we will move on to IVF. IUI's are completely covered by my insurance, but IVF isn't at all. I had been thinking I just wanted to move on to IVF, but I felt more comfortable making the decision to do the IUI again given the new plan. 

We also discussed progesterone and Metformin. I asked about the progesterone and he agreed for this cycle I will start a few days after the trigger. He also agreed that it was a good idea to up my dosage of Metformin to 1000 mg/day from 500. I will see how that goes. 

So we have a new plan and I am feeling much more optimistic and excited this month. The only thing is, I didn't find out what time I am supposed to take the Gonal-F. Any ideas?

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

The 2WW is good for something

Well, the 2ww officially ends on Friday, but I'm pretty sure my period will be paying me a visit any day now. People say that PMS symptoms are very similar to pregnancy symptoms, but I think I can tell the subtle differences. Sure, my boobs are sore, but more in a I'm getting my period kind of way that huge and pregnant kind of way. I feel moody, but don't even remember feeling that way when I was pregnant. My sense of smell is within the normal range and I haven't been stopping to use the bathroom much at all. When I look back at the time before I knew I was pregnant last time, the things that stand out the most were SUPER sore boobs and getting up in the middle of the night to pee. I always sleep through the night and have been doing so all week. 

That being said, I have an appointment with my RE for Friday to discuss our future options. This was an appointment I voluntary scheduled today since I feel like we need to sit down and talk. I haven't actually talked to him since before we even started the Clomid. I was starting to feel like I was being treated by a nurse and wasn't comfortable with this. Maybe this is just the part of me who was about to do a cycle of IVF and am now doing IUI's. I know they aren't as involved, but it is hard to go from one treatment to the other with the same expectations. My hubby and I were talking about it the other day and we said it's like I went from point A to point C and am now back at point B. It has been an interesting and confusing journey and we're not even to our destination yet. 

 I tried to call my RE on Monday to ask a few questions and called a different number he had given me. Since I go to a University clinic, he also has an "academic" number. I know this number leads directly to voicemail and that I could leave a message that he would receive. Well, he called back at 6:25 on Monday night (I left my phone in the car as we were at calling hours). I was disappointed to see he had called back and I didn't expect it, but his message made me think this wasn't a number to call with general questions. He basically said I could get ahold of him the following day through the clinic if it were an emergency, or call the nurse at the clinic with questions. I don't feel like she can answer some of my questions and she isn't the most thorough. She tends to be brief and almost always seems annoyed with me. I will let you know how the appointment goes and the answers to some of the questions that have been bothering me. 

Since I have given you the update on IF, I decided to update you on what I kept myself busy with over the past two weeks. Some of the projects were started a little before, but here is what we did:

Painted our office:
Before (a dark green). These pictures were taken before we moved in an had furniture in the room. 

It's not that we didn't like the color, it was more that it was dark for the space and I wanted to do STRIPES. Here were go!
First we pained it all a lighter color:
Then we measured and taped (my hubby was ready to kill me during this process):

Then we painted the darker color and pulled off the tape. The touch ups were done courtesy of my hubby and I think it looks pretty fantastic. 

 That's probably enough looking at my house pictures, so I will spare you other projects until I update again (Ok I lied, here are some pretty spring pictures I took today). Hope everyone is having a great week and that spring is visiting them too! ICLW has been great and I've been enjoying reading some new blogs and having new visitors. Thanks for stopping by!

Monday, April 25, 2011

Busting myths about Developmental Delays

MYTH: The babies conceived through ART will have problems such as birth defects, low birth weight, developmental delays.

"Busted!: Though we hope all babies will be born without any problems, unfortunately this is not the case. Children conceived naturally to couples who have never struggled with infertility have a 3-5% risk of birth defects and a 1-2% likelihood of experiencing developmental delays. Pregnancies conceived naturally in women experiencing infertility may be at a slightly higher risk for pregnancy complications. IUI, when used without stimulation medication, does not appear to further increase the risk of birth defects or developmental delays. Pregnancy related complications are increased with ovarian stimulation, though this can be largely attributed to risks associated with multiple pregnancy. Babies born from IVF may be a little smaller than those conceived naturally, though they are typically still in the normal range. The majority of studies have not found an increased risk of birth defects in babies conceived with IVF. The use of intra-cytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI), which is typically used when sperm quantity and/or quality is reduced, is associated with a very slight increase in chromosomal abnormalities and birth defects. Fortunately, if there is an increase in problems such as birth defects, low birth weight, and developmental delays in babies conceived through ART, it is very small. The overwhelming majority of babies born as a result of fertility treatment are fine!"

As a professional who works with children with developmental delays, I know this isn't true. Any child who receives therapy (whether it be speech, physical, or occupational) and is younger than 3 is labeled as having a developmental delay where I live. Birth defects, low birth weight, and developmental delays, in my experience, are more often caused be negligence and abuse than fertility treatments (think smoking cigarettes during pregnancy, fetal alcohol syndrome, lack of a stimulating environment, etc.) Other times, problems are the result of chromosomal, cranio-facial abnormalities, genetic, and neurological problems that are impossible to prevent.

In the 4 years I have been seeing children for speech therapy, only a handful of them were conceived with the help of fertility treatments (to my knowledge). One was a triplet and was delayed more as a result of competing with two brothers to communicate and from being premature. I think his issue was more a result of having the most laid-back personality of the three rather than being conceived with IVF.  I work now with a little boy who is the 4th boy in his family. His 3 brothers were conceived through IVF and he was a surprise "natural" accident. He receives speech therapy and occupational therapy to address sensory issues. His older brother also has many of the same issues and the boys were conceived in very different ways. All signs point to genetics in that family.

When I first started working I fell victim to this mentality. This was long before I ever knew we would have difficulty conceiving. I was down on IVF and fertility treatments since I thought we would have no problems. I looked at those triplets and thought they had an "IVF look." I realized later they looked a lot like their father (who I rarely saw). When I was telling my Dad about the family with the 4 boys and telling him how the mom was always very open about fertility treatments he said to me, "You know why she told you that so soon? Because the mom think that is why the child you work with has problems." It was nice to be able to tell him he was the only child in the family not conceived through IVF. 

I think many of the issues that children face are a result of their environment, whether it be pre or post natal. If there are multiple children in the same pregnancy then there will likely be complications. If babies are born early, whether conceived naturally or not, they are more likely to have developmental delays. If children are living in a home where this is little engagement or time spent with them, they are likely to demonstrate delays. If my caseload was comprised only of children conceived through fertility treatments I would be A) a lot less busy and B) regularly going into much nicer homes. If anything, children conceived through fertility treatments have parents who are more involved and concerned, and delays just happen to be the result of being unlucky.

Sunday, April 24, 2011


I want to thank Carlia at The Stork Drop Zone for nominating me for an award. I have been feeling discouraged about everything lately and it brought a huge smile to my face. 
Here is how it works:
1. Winners put the image on their blog
2. Link back to the person who gave it to you
3. Tell 10 things about yourself
4. Award 15 recently discovered bloggers
5. Contact the bloggers you awarded and let them know they have won

So without further ado here are my 10 things:

 1. My sister and I didn't get along until I moved 3 hours away when I was 16. She is 2 1/2 years older than me and now calls me constantly. She continues to be very competitive with me but that's just because I always did everything before her. Her big goal is to get pregnant before me because "I have to do something first."
2. My parents got divorced when I was 7 and my Mom raised us. We spent every other weekend with my Dad. 
3. My husband and I come from very different backgrounds. He was raised in a large house with parents who were still married and well off. My Mom always struggled to do nice things for us and nothing was extravagant. 
4. Of all the things I want to pass on to my children, I really want them to get my big blue eyes. The curly hair from my hubby would be nice too, but my eyes are the most important. 
5. I multitask WAY too much while driving. I eat, talk on the phone, read little snipets, etc. I know it is dangerous but I am in my car a large portion of the day and still need to be productive, right?
6. I am gaining an appreciation for antiques since our house is nearly 100 years old. I never really liked the decor on my in-laws house but now understand more. 
7. I am addicted to shopping at Marshalls. I go way too often and rarely leave without some kind of purchase. Cancellation in my day.... better go to Marshalls and browse.  
8. I love the color green and think it is adorable when the kids I work with remember. They let me be the green player in games since it is my favorite. 
9. We call my mom Momma-Dukes and she likes to joke about being Grandma-Dukes. I think that would be really funny if our kids called her that.  
10. I listen to a lot of pop music. Since I am in my car driving around all day and have satellite radio I like to have something I can sing along to. 

And here is my list of deserving bloggers:

Thursday, April 21, 2011

International Comment Leaving Week April

Happy ICLW. This is my third time participating and I always enjoy it. It's an interesting way to look at the passing of time (which can be difficult while pursuing fertility treatments). It does tend to put things in perspective and make it feel like time does pass faster than you realize. 

To catch you up on my story here is the quick version: 

*Started seeing a RE after 1 month of trying due to high testosterone levels. Diagnosed with anovulatory PCOS in Aug 2010. Large cyst found. Put on BCP's to shrink.
* Oct had laparoscopy #1 to drain the cyst after BCP's didn't do jack. The cyst was located on my left fallopian tube. HSG found both tubes blocked. Decided to pursue IVF in Jan. 
*Did preliminary testing for IVF in Dec and found the cyst was back.
*Jan 2011 Lupron for 2 weeks and found out I was pregnant during suppression check.
*Feb 2011 ultrasound reveals growth stopped at 6 weeks. D&C and laparoscopy to remove cyst. Left tube removed due to benign tumor.
*April 2011 Clomid 50mg and IUI. 1 Dominant follicle on the left hand side (no tube), 2 smaller follicles not likely to mature. Did IUI anyway.

 I am currently in 2ww with little hope of success for this cycle. My RE said an egg can transmigrate to the other tube, but I'm not holding my breath. I also ended up getting really depressed on Clomid, even though it was a low dose. 

I am wondering if you did IUI's, would you recommend someone else do them? What are your experiences? If you are long past this point and could do it over, would you still do IUI's? I am looking forward to any and all input.

So for something fun I found this on another blog and decided to fill it out. It is similar to the ABC's about yourself, but infertility related.

A. Age when you started TTC: Liz - 26  W – 28.   We waited almost a year after getting married to start trying and it took A LOT of convincing on my part. My hubby is just finishing his doctorate this May and was SUPER reluctant (to say the least) to try without having a way to contribute financially. 

B. Baby Dancing or Sex: We don't use either term. We call it lovin' around here! The nurse at my RE's office calls it "relations" and it always makes me think of Bill Clinton and seems like a strange term to use. 

C. Children wanted: I used to say 3, but now I would take even 1! I really don't like the only child mentality, so I hope we don't end up with one. One is better than none though!

D. Dogs/Cats/Fill in Children: Two dogs and a cat. One dog we adopted from my parents and the other we got as a puppy. We call her our neurotic first child and joke that we made all of our mistakes with her (I wish). 

E.  Essential Oils/Vitamins/Snake Oils: I take high doses of Vitamin D (5000 IU's/day). We don't get much winter sun here in upstate NY and I think it helped me to ovulate on my own a few times. 

F. Fertility Meds I’ve taken: Lupron for 2 weeks in preparation for an IVF that ended up getting cancelled due to a surprise pregnancy, Provera and Clomid (not a huge fan) most recently. 

G. Gain: Not sure, I avoid the scale these days. I don't think much, but I'm not at my ideal weight anyway. I have also gained an appreciation for passing time and a total lack of fear for needles. Some days I think I might be becoming a masochist about needles. 

H. HSG (Hystosalpingogram): One while I was asleep for a laparoscopy. Results indicated both tubes were blocked but I ended up pregnant 3 months after so not so blocked after all. My RE thinks it would be redundant to repeat now since I was able to get pregnant. Some days I question that judgement. 

I.  Infertile Pet Peeves: When people announce that they "weren't trying but they weren't not trying either." I honestly don't understand this. To me you are either preventing pregnancy or not, therefore, trying or not trying. There is no grey area in my book.  

J. Job title: Speech-Language Pathologist. I work with children aged birth - 5 but never end up with children on my caseload much younger than 2. 

K. Kid’s names you’re afraid will be taken by the time you can use them: Don't really worry about it. The big question in our house is to V or not to V. My hubby is number IV, but I am hoping we have girls so we don't have to deal with this issue. 

L. Length of time TTC: 9 months all of which have been under the care of a RE. We didn't try for a year before seeking help due to high hormone levels. I am really glad we sought help right away since we obviously needed it. 

M.  Miscarriages: One in February after a surprise pregnancy. We went in for our 8 week ultrasound and they couldn't find a heartbeat and there was no growth since the previous ultrasound. It is hard to see that pregnancy as a good thing since it didn't end up being successful. 

N. Number of times you’ve switched OB/GYNS, REs, FSs: None. I have been with this RE since last August and have been pretty pleased. He is always very thorough and spends lots of time with us when we go for appointments. I considered switching recently with my experience with the IUI, but the only other choice has a 2 month wait to get in. 

O. Ovarian quality: PCOS makes for lots of cysts but not sure about egg quality. Could have been the reason for the miscarriage, but we really don't know. 

P. POAS or wait for AF: Definitely POAS. It's funny because the amount of money I spend on the tests is dependent on how optimistic I am. If I don't feel very optimistic I buy the Dollar Tree ones so as to not waste too much money. 

Q. Quote from an obnoxious fertile: "I feel like I have been pregnant forever."  

S. Sperm: W is an overachiever in this area. For our IUI his count post-wash was 320 million with 97% motility. This was after we had some lovin' the previous morning since I thought they would cancel the IUI. The guy in the andrology lab and the nurses were all complimenting his sperm. You should see him beam when I mention it : )

T. Time you tried naturally: Ummm one month without the RE and we haven't really tried without intervention since. 

U. Uterus quality: Everything is in tip-top shape. No issues found on the sonohysterogram. 

V. Vagina: Umm, fine as far as I know. It certainly has been viewed by enough people at this point. 

W. What baby stuff do you already have?: Too much considering there is no baby. I work with little kids and people are always offering me things that I can't turn down because "maybe we'll use that some day." Also, I own too many toys since I use them for work. I am a snob about toys though and play with certain toys with the kids I work with that I would never give to my kids. I hate crappy plastic toys that make a lot of noise. 

X.  X-tra X-tra Hear all about it! How many people know the ins and outs of our crazy TTC journey?  The complete story? Only my MIL, a mom of one of the kids I work with, and a good co-worker friend are in on the most recent updates and drama. My parents and FIL know about the miscarriage and surgeries.

Y. Yearly Exam (do you still go in even though someone sees your lady parts most months?: I've been meaning to ask if this is necessary. I mean, they check it all out pretty often and I had "cultures" and a pap smear done in Dec in preparation for our IVF cycle. 

Z.  Zits: Thanks PCOS for adding to the fun! I tend to break out around the time of my period, but nothing too noticable or bad. I have some tinted acne cream that works wonders. 

So now you’ve read mine.  What are your IF A to Zs.  

Monday, April 18, 2011

Kids don't really care

So here is a conversation I had with Keegan today while I was at his house. He is an articulation case so his language is actually really good. He is 3 1/2 and a really nice kid. Also, he is pretty darn cute.

Keegan: I have new jammies. I love my jammies. You got jammies at your house?
Me: Yes, I have jammies at my house.
K: You got kids?
Me: Nope, no kids. I have 2 dogs though. They are both black.
K: Oh, they boxers? (he has 2 boxers)
Me: No, they are different
K: Oh, a different boxer?

I love how he didn't ask why I don't have kids like everyone else. He just moved on. I wish everyone was this easy to appease.

I also happened to pull a feather out of my shirt that was poking me (from our pillows on our bed). He looked at me and said, "You got a bird?"

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Mind over matter

My hubby and I have been talking a lot the past few days about my mood and attitude towards this cycle. This week I was feeling SO down and couldn't figure out why. It was worse than after the miscarriage; I was feeling so depressed. I know it sucks to have follicles on the wrong side, but really Liz? I was tired all the time, struggling to make it through each work day, feeling somewhat anxious and unable to focus on anything, and crying a lot. Each day as the week went on all I wanted to do was come home and curl up on the couch or in bed and cry. It was bad. Well, last night we were talking and it all started to come together. I started feeling my mood change as soon as I started the Clomid. My hubby agreed that I haven't been myself since starting it (the past 2 or so weeks). It started as moodiness and feeling short tempered and evolved into depression. It is hard to think that something so small could affect you so much, but I'm pretty sure that is the culprit. I'm not prone to getting depressed and have dealt pretty well with all of this infertility crap. I try to keep a positive mind frame and not dwell on the things I cannot control. This was definitely the worst I have felt during the past 9 months in dealing with everything. I was starting to wonder whether it had all built up to this point, but now I'm starting to doubt that. I blame it on the Clomid. 

Having said that I am able to feel much better. I consulted Google last night and found SO MANY entries on forums and boards where people said that Clomid made them depressed. My mind and body were telling me not to repeat the IUI and give up because I was subconsciously aware that it was the Clomid and I didn't want to repeat the process. I found faults with every avenue of my treatment this cycle and was ready to switch RE's. I have had great experiences with my clinic up until this month where my judgment was clouded, and therefore, so were my feelings about everything. 
Having said all of that I plan to make a call to my RE and raise some questions and concerns about this cycle and future ones. I'm not sure what his opinion will be about repeating Clomid, especially given the fact that it made me super depressed. In all fairness, my ovaries responded well, just not my brain. I would love to try something that will give me more than one dominant follicle, even if that means risking more than one baby. 

I am feeling SO MUCH better after realizing that my mood has been affected by Clomid. I was starting to wonder what was wrong with me and why I was feeling so terrible about everything. Starting last night I adopted the attitude of mind over matter and I know that I can control my mood and be more positive. 
My hubby smiled at me this morning and said it was good to have me back. 

Thursday, April 14, 2011

getting (hopefully) knocked up at 50 mph

My hubby had his appointment at the andrology lab in the hospital today at 8. I was waiting on a call from him to hear when his sample be ready. He called as I was headed to see my first client and said it would take about 45 minutes, so instead of going to Pre-K to hang with Jonathan, I headed into Syracuse. The drive is about 45 minutes so it would work out.

We were talking on the phone (as I was on my way into Syracuse and he was on his way back) about how I have been feeling and how everything went when we passed each other at 50 mph. We joked that that was one way to get pregnant. I was like wow, your sperm really does rock, you made your deposit going the opposite direction at 50. 

I parked in the drop off/pick up spot at the hospital and put my flashers on. I was picking something up so it seemed appropriate to park there. I had to check in at two different desks and at the second the woman asked me if I was meeting someone there. It was a little awkward to tell her instead I was picking something up.  

It was a little difficult to find the place, but a nice male nurse with short hair in the front and a long ponytail in the back showed me the way. When I got to the desk the guy got me the sample and gave it to me in a mini styrofoam cooler and proceeded to tell me how great it was. He said he hadn't seen the motility that high post-wash in a long time. He gave me a print-out of the info and here it is:

                                     Pre Wash                   Post Wash
Count:                      489.6 million                 320.1
Motility:                       74%                            97%

I got to the office and it was the busiest I have ever seen it. There I was sitting with my mini cooler and everyone else was there to see their GYN. They called me in and took the sample while I emptied my bladder. They then led me into a room and had me undress from the waist down and wait. I was a little surprised to see that the nurse was going to do the procedure, but my RE had warned me that he wouldn't likely be doing it. Both nurses who entered the room commented on how great the count was and said it was rare to see the motility so high. Hardest compliment to respond to ever. 

I had a little bit of cramping initially, but nothing too bad. They then slid a little platform out from the table and had me put my feet up there. They left the room and said "see you in a half hour." My phone was within view, but not reach so I just laid there and tried to meditate and relax.

During the day I called my MIL to tell her how everything evolved for this cycle. My hubby had told her about the dominant follicle being on the left previously, but she didn't know the latest. I told her about her son's count and she didn't really know how to respond. Her best reply was, "that's not something you can put on your resume." This was a fitting reply since W is in the process of finding a job and she recently helped him to edit his resume. We joked that that one only impresses the right crowd.

I left and headed to work. I saw 5 kids today instead of my usual 8, but didn't feel like working late into the afternoon so still ended my day early. I can't exactly explain why, but I am feeling really down. I guess part of it is that over the past 10 months I have gone through a lot. There has been a diagnosis of PCOS, a large cyst that required two surgeries and months of waiting for it to shrink, the news of blocked tubes, the pursuit of an IVF cycle and all of the testing involved followed by an surprise pregnant and then an early miscarriage, a D&C and removal of one tube, and now our first IUI cycle with a dominant follicle on, of course, the left side. Rather than feeling hopeful and optimistic about this cycle (which I know I should), this afternoon I felt super depressed. There have only been two others times during this process where I have felt this down: 1. When we decided to start trying and I found out I had PCOS and a large cyst meaning we weren't going to be able to try for a while (ended up being 4 months) 2. When I had the surgery to drain the cyst and the HSG revealed both of my tubes were blocked. Both of these times occurred when I was feeling optimistic to start (start trying for a family, start trying after surgery to remove the cyst), and was disappointed by news that meant waiting longer.  I came home and cried while my hubby tried to comfort me. I told him how I feel like things keeping getting worse and worse. We have had 2 weeks of happiness in terms of TTC (when I knew I was pregnant before the ultrasound showing the slow heart rate) in 10 months. I have had moments of excitement and optimism here and there, but can't muster feeling that way about IUI's in the future. If I didn't want a baby so badly I would quit.  

I am disappointed in this cycle and the treatment I received from my clinic for the following reasons: no blood work at any time to check hormone levels, a single ultrasound with a trigger given 3 days after the follicle was at 17 mm, no return calls from the nurse until late in the day when previously I have gotten calls from my RE or the nurse within a much shorter timeframe, the nurse performing the IUI, no progesterone support following the IUI (my progesterone levels were in the low average range with my last pregnancy despite support), and no beta scheduled (I will call 2 weeks from tomorrow if I still haven't gotten my period). I am trying my best to be optimistic and hopeful and I would love for the IUI to work, but I am having a hard time convincing myself. I am hoping today was my pity party and I can move on from here and try to be more optimistic.

Time to focus on something else for 2 weeks. We have my brother staying with us all weekend. He is 9 and will be the first one to stay in our newly painted and upgraded guest room. We also have our office paint project still going (I want to paint stripes and we have painted a first coat and taped 1/2 the room).

 Also, we are dog-sitting for a week starting Sunday. We will have 3 dogs in our house all week...aahhh!!! The dog we are watching is less than a year and crazy. I just realized yesterday was our dog's 4th birthday. Maybe we will have to celebrate this weekend. Bring on the fun!

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

I take it back

Ok, I guess I kinda overreacted yesterday to the bad news of having a dominant follicle on the wrong side. I was super disappointed and apologize that you had to listen to me complain. 

I talked with the nurse this afternoon and she said we are going to go ahead and trigger tonight and go in for the IUI tomorrow. Rather than doing 2 IUI's as planned this cycle, we will do one tomorrow and then it is up to us to have "relations" the following day. 

My RE is hoping for the phenomenon of transmigration in which my other fallopian tube will hopefully pick up the egg. I am not counting on this, but who knows. 

I am starting to think we should just move on to IVF. The hard part is that we were there 4 months ago. On Jan 5th I started Lupron for our first IVF cycle. I ended up pregnant naturally that cycle so we never continued. It is hard to want to try something less successful, even if it is less invasive and cheaper. I am starting to think IUI's are a waste of time and energy and that I would rather focus on something that is more likely to work. The more blogs I read, the fewer positives I see as a result of IUI's. 

I work so hard all day at being patient (patient while children give me a run for my money, patient when I ask them to do something and they take their sweet time, patient with children who are not as competent as others, etc.), but I am finding I am not feeling as patient in other facets of my life. 
On the plus side I realized after giving the trigger shot that 2 weeks after my first shot in January we got the results that I was pregnant. let's hope we are that lucky again in two weeks!