Monday, November 26, 2012


Everything went great today. The two embryos they picked survived the thaw just fine and we still have five embryos in storage.

We arrived on time to a crazy packed waiting room. I guess that's what happens the Monday after a holiday weekend. We waited about a half hour and then W gave up waiting and went to use the bathroom. As soon as he left the room the nurse called my name. He must have heard because he came right back.

The nurse schedued my beta for December 5'th and then left the room to get my Dr. K. I saw there was the picture of our embryos on the counter so W and I checked it out while we waited.

I changed into the sexy hospital gown and relaxed in the bed as the Valium kicked in. The transfer beds at my clinic don't have stirrups and are more like massage tables so it was pretty easy to relax there. We laughed as the ultrasound screen was a freeze frame of someone else's uterus. 

Finally Dr. K came in the room. Everything was quick and easy. Once he was finished he shook both of our hands and left. I stayed laying down for about 15 minutes and then headed over for some free acupuncture.

I haven't seen my acupuncturist in a while since I felt like it was a lot of money to spend and it didn't seem to be making a huge difference. After placing the needles he stayed to chat quite a bit. He asked if I had named our embryos yet and I said I hadn't. He told me I should name at least one of them after him. Then he left and I relaxed and eventually fell asleep. I had slept horribly last night so didn't have much trouble falling asleep. 

When I went to leave I saw it was snowing and beautiful outside. As we drove closer to our house there was no longer snow and I was a bit disappointed. W had to go to work so I watched the movie Elf, ate some lunch, and then fell asleep for a bit on the couch to a comedian on Netflix.

All in all, it was a very relaxing and perfect day. I'm SO hoping at least one of those little embryos decide to stick around. Either way, it's completely out of my hands at this point. I'm glad to have something to do tomorrow as I'm returning to work after five days off. I'm a little concerned it's going to be a huge shock after all of my recent relaxing. 

Tomorrow I have yoga and book club. I'm sad that I won't be able to hang out late due to having to do my PIO and Delestrogen shots around 9, but also my need for sleep. I haven't decided whether I will go back to acupuncture on Wednesday, but we will see. That was what he recommended to assist with implantation. 

 I'm keeping my fingers crossed, my stress levels lows, and trying to stay as happy as possible this next week. It shouldn't be too hard with the way W has been treating me. I'm so lucky to have him!

Oh, and here are the little guys we transferred today. I didn't ask about grades or anything so I'm blissfully ignorant.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Transfer Eve

Tomorrow is the day I've been looking forward to for months. I met with Dr. Br.averman for the first time at the end of July and started stims September 24th. To say its been a long time coming feels like an understatement.

We did make the final decision to thaw and transfer two embryos. That was based on my gut instinct as well as input from Dr. B. I really hope the first two that they pick survive the thaw.

This past week flew by. I worked Mon-Wed and we left for Albany on Wednesday night. We stayed at my sister's house both Wed and Thurs night. Wednesday night was nice to just hang out with my sis and BiL. They moved the guest room since they are turning the old guest room into the nursery so we slept in the loft. It's a really nice room but is open so has zero privacy. It made doing my shots interesting. We managed to hide out in the corner of the room.

Thanksgiving itself was really nice. There were ten people total and I got to spend some time with my BIL's parents. My mom and my sister's MIL wouldn't leave her alone with trying to take pictures of her baby bump. She's definitely at the cute basketball stage, but hated the idea of any pictures. Us IF women take weekly photos once pregnant but my sister said she doesn't want a single photo. To each his own.

Thursday night we went out to Target around 11. I always enjoy watching the crowds and it really wasn't that crazy. We had picked up a few blue ray movies but quickly put them back once we saw the line. I've never seen anything like it. Literally it would have taken hours to buy some movies. So, we left empty handed and headed home to bed.

W and I got up super early Friday morning and he drove while I slept. Unfortunately he had to work that day. I spent most of the day relaxing and catching up on sleep.

Friday night was my ten year high school reunion in town. I waiting until about two hours before to buy tickets but was glad in the end that I did. I definitely had way to much to drink, but it did help to ease the awkwardness. One of my best friends from high school was in town from Seattle so it was really nice to spend time with her. Another bonus? No pregnant girls at the reunion.

Saturday was spent recovering from my crazy night on Friday and then today we went to the christening for our friend's baby. He was screaming his little head off for most of the church service, poor little guy.

I'm really glad to have had the holiday week before my transfer. It helped to pass the time and took all of the focus off so things. I'm feeling relaxed and hopeful for our little embryos that will be headed where they belong tomorrow.

Friday, November 23, 2012

So Thankful

I know I'm a bit late with it being a day after Thanksgiving, but there's never a bad time to recognize how thankful I am for everything I have. Despite not having everything I want, I'm still so happy and grateful for everything that I do have.

The thing I am most thankful for this year is my husband. He's such a amazing person and I'm so lucky to have him as my partner in everything. He's always there to laugh at my jokes, listen to me ramble, and to offer a hug when I'm having a bad day. I can't imagine my life without him.

I'm also incredibly grateful for my family, both extended and immediate. My sister and I have grown really close over the years and she's now in the loop about everything. She's always cheering for us and has even offered to be a surrogate if we needed. When we were little and through our teen years we fought constantly, so our relationship has really grown. We talk most days and support each other in so many ways. 

I'm happy that I can celebrate holidays with both of my parents, despite them getting divorced when we were little. I'm glad they both have someone in their lives who makes them happy. I'm thankful that my mom and step-dad decided to adopt my little brother, that my family expanded, and that I got to become a big sister at age 24.

I'm incredibly lucky to also have my in-laws. They are so supportive of everything we have gone through and are always hoping and praying for us. My FIL will drop anything on a given day to help us with a house project or dog sit for us.

I thankful for my two nephews, one who turned five in October, and one who is still cooking in my sister's belly. I love taking our nephew O overnights and having him all to ourselves. Being an aunt really is great.

I'm so happy to have my fur babies. Our two dogs are best buds and get so excited to start every new day. I can't imagine greeting each day with such enthusiasm, so I'm glad to have them to show me it's possible. I love snuggling with my cat and sleep so much more soundly when he is curled up next to me. When he starts walking all over us at 4 AM it's a much different story. In those situations I'm thankful to have a lock on our bedroom door.

I'm thankful I have a rewarding and great paying job. I love teaching children how to communicate and watching their little faces light up when they are successful. Watching children develop and progress is amazing.

I'm also thankful for all of the doctors I have in my life. Even though I would prefer to get pregnant without them, I'm thankful that they are on my team pulling for me. I'm thankful for the personal relationships I have built with so many people on this journey. I'm so grateful for our seven frozen embryos that we get to use starting Monday. I'm so thankful that we can afford and attempt all of these treatments. It may not be fun, but I know it will all be worth it. 

And last but not least my friends. My friends who I met through yoga for fertility who totally "get it". My friends who I work with and can relate to on so many levels, and my friends from growing up. Life without friends would be much less bearable and I'm so thankful to have them all. 

It's posts like these that we all need to revisit on a bad day. I try to remember how lucky I am every day and to appreciate everything I have more than once a year. Some days it's harder than others. 

I hope everyone had a fantastic Thanksgiving that celebrated. If not, I'm glad it's at least Friday for those people who didn't get a few days off this week. 

Sunday, November 18, 2012

What's Going On

The weekend always goes by too fast. How did we get to Sunday night already?

Last week went by fairly quickly. I worked a lot more than I have been working for the past few weeks and was exhausted by Friday night. I felt like such a bum Friday night when I napped while W did two loads of laundry, bathed the dogs, did all the dishes, and started dinner. Whoops!

Last Tuesday night I got together with my friend after yoga and we went out for Thai food. Of course we talked a bunch and had fun so I ended up getting home pretty late. 

Staying out late on Tuesday night made my Wednesday 6:45 appointment feel extra early. My lining measured at 7.78 and my estradiol levels were 746. We scheduled my transfer for the 26th at 10:15. We haven't made a final decision about how many embryos to transfer, but I think it will be two. I emailed Dr. Br.averman to get his opinion and it seemed to be two. He said he rarely recommends three unless the embryos quality is poor, the woman is over forty, or there have been repeated failures. We only fit into one of those categories and I'm not ready to fly through our best embryos. He also told me about the blood work he plans to repeat at my beta. Unfortunately, they were mostly tests that were only done at the out of network lab and are they were super pricey the first time around. I am going to email him to find out more about this. I don't understand the purpose of repeating these tests if my levels were within normal limits the first time. I guess to see how I responded to the new meds?

On Thursday W and I went to a vinyasa yoga class with my mom and then we went out for Indian food after. The class went much better than the previous Sunday. I felt strong and got a great workout. That one instructor is amazing. 

I had a nice friend-filled weekend. I saw my friend T on Saturday and we got lunch, walked around the mall, shopped a little bit, and got pedicures. I'm pretty excited about my new pajama pants and the festive dog collars I bough. T is due with her little boy in eight weeks! I can't wait to meet him. Her baby shower is coming up on December 8th so I really need to finish the binding on the quilt I made and then get it machine quilted by someone. The binding is intimidating me a bit which is why I haven't done it yet. I watched a little video on You Tube this weekend but still am not sure about it. I better get sure about it soon. 

Today we went to yoga and then hung out with our friends C, J, and their little girl E after. The yoga class had a sub instructor and I didn't love it. It wasn't very dynamic or fast moving. Little E wasn't feeling well and was being super sweet and snuggly. It made me want a little one that much more. We made plans with them to go cut down Christmas trees the first weekend in December like we did two years ago. 

I've feeling really hopeful and positive about our transfer. I am excited for it to be here and know the next week should fly by with Thanksgiving. I'm still bruising quite a bit. On Friday I ended up with a dark purple bruise that is bigger than a quarter. It's super attractive, trust me. I also bled for a long time when they took my blood. The Lovenox is definitely working. 

I'm really looking forward to the short work week and seeing all my family on Thursday. Then we have our transfer in eight days! It feels like it's taken a long time to get this close. Let's hope this is it!

Thursday, November 15, 2012


This is a post I've been meaning to write for a while. Since there's nothing too exciting to write about with a FET I figured it was a good time.

We moved into our house a little over two years ago. When we looked at the house I loved everything about it but the upstairs bathroom. I decided if we bought it we would remodel the bathroom before we ever moved it.

Right around the time that we closed on the house I had lap surgery #1. This was when we were told both of my tubes were blocked and that IVF was going to be our only option. Needless the say we moved into the house without changing the bathroom.

In all honesty it was fully functional. It was just hideous. It looked like it was straight out of the 70's. Everything was brown or yellow. The floor was an ugly brown linoleum, the shower doors had tropical stork-like birds on them, the vanity was a marbly yellow color, and the wall had a marble patterned tile board on them. I regret now that I didn't take more pictures so you could get the full effect. Oh yeah, and there were large fluorescent lights on both sides of the vanity mirror.
Here is the only "before" picture I took

Well, this past spring/summer we remodeled it. We used our tax return and with the help of my step-father and FIL we did all the work ourselves. The only thing that stayed was the toilet and tub. For the tub we got it refinished. I initially wanted to replace the tub but when we found out it was cast iron and would be extremely difficult to get out, we decided instead to get it refinished. I'm glad we did because we basically got a brand new tub.

We re-tiled the floor and put radiant heat underneath. The radiant heat in the bathroom is helping me to be more of a morning person. It is amazing!! The floor is about 80 degrees when it is on. Getting out of the shower or bath and stepping onto that floor feels great. We put new tile in the shower and got a new vanity. My step-father also built us a cabinet to perfectly fit a previously unused space.

Here are pictures I took during the process:

And here are the after pictures:

I think it is a huge improvement!

Monday, November 12, 2012

It's the Little Things in Life

I've feeling much better than I did Friday night. I slept for almost 12 hours on Friday night and took a nap Saturday during the day. That definitely helped. 

On Sunday W came with me to yoga. It was a hot vinyasa class and it kicked my butt! At first I was directly under the heat vent and was sweating so much I couldn't hold any pose long for fear of slipping off my mat. I eventually moved a little further away and that helped, but I just didn't feel strong during the class. I think fighting off the cold and having my period took it's toll on my body. Last week I felt really great during the same class but this week it was super challenging for me. 

I still enjoyed going and especially enjoyed the hot tub, sauna, and steam shower after. 

I recently found out all yoga classes are free there for us because we are patients at the fertility center. They buildings are connected and there also have massage and acupuncture available there. They offer one free acupuncture session with a transfer, so I usually take them up on that offer. I haven't been going to acupuncture regularly because it didn't seem to make a huge difference for me. Sure, I enjoyed it, but it didn't seem worth all the money. 

The headaches are getting a bit better but I am bruising so badly with my shots. I started Lovenox and baby aspirin last week and I don't think that is helping the cause. Any tips to reduce bruising? At this rate my entire stomach will be covered. I've been avoiding the right side of my stomach completely because I can't seem to find a single spot that doesn't bruise. It's not the best look. 

My next appointment is Wednesday morning. Our tentative transfer day is exactly two weeks from today! 

I bought something this week I'm super excited about it. It's really shows how it's the little things in life that make me happy.

 Last year we hosted Thanksgiving and our local supermarket had turkey butter sculptures for sale (it would fit in your hand if you wanted to hold a buttery little turkey). I missed my chance to get one as they sold out quickly. Well, this past week I saw them and snatched one up. I was so excited I even had to tell the cashier. 
Isn't he cute?
The New York State Fair is nearby and one of the main attractions is the giant butter sculpture. Maybe it's an upstate NY thing, but it's something we always have to check out when we go.
The sculpture from 2 years ago at the fair.
While you're in the dairy building, you better get some 25 cent chocolate milk.  Can't you tell I'm excited about it?
 I can't wait for that little buttery turkey to grace the Thanksgiving table with its presence. That is, until someone chops off his little head for their mashed potatoes. 

Friday, November 9, 2012

Relying on Vitamin C and Neupogen

All week I've been getting headaches from the Lupron. This morning I woke up with a stuffed up nose and sore throat. I thought getting through a work day with a headache was rough. Today I realized it's much better than trying to work with a headache and sore throat. 

I started Neupogen today which helps boost white blood cells. I'm hoping those white blood cells can kick this cold's ass. Come on Neupogen!

I also started Lovenox and baby aspirin this morning. I've been bruising really bad on my right side so might have to just stick to the left side of my stomach. I also start Delestrogen tonight. 

Unfortunately, my insurance didn't cover the Delestrogen. When I called the insurance to find out why they cover Estradiol but not Delestrogen they gave me a very strange reply. They told me it's something that is typically administered by the doctor in their office and then the doctor bills the insurance. It's not something that is covered if just dispensed. I don't get it. On the plus side, my insurance covered the Neupogen and I only paid 50 bucks. You win some you lose some. 

I just hope I can start feeling better soon. I don't plan to do much this weekend except lay low and try to feel better. We are having dinner at my in-law's tomorrow and hopefully will go to yoga on Sunday. 

The side effects have been rough this time around. It's so strange how each cycle the meds affect me differently. I've taken Lupron and had no issues and taken it other cycles and gotten daily headaches. 

Happy Friday!! I hope everyone has a good weekend. 

Monday, November 5, 2012

Hoping it Helps

The biopsy today wasn't fun at all. I had one done previously but it was so long ago I must have blocked it from my memory. The NP at my office did the biopsy and although it was over quickly, it was rough.

I actually broke out in a full sweat during/immediately after. I stayed reclined for about 5-10 minutes and then felt better. I had a bunch of cramping for quite a while after. W brought me home flowers which was super sweet. 

I'm not sure it's something I would do again but hopefully it won't be necessary. I have a really good feeling about this cycle. 

The local pharmacist knows me well and I asked today about the Neupogen. She wrote a script to see if my insurance would cover it and it was approved for only 50 bucks. We will see when the actual script goes through, but that would be amazing. 

I looked more closely at my calendar and saw they had me on Crinone and two different antibiotics at some point prior to the transfer. I emailed the nurse today and we changed it to PIO and she told me one of the antibiotics will be done as a vaginal suppository. That's definitely different. Has anyone ever heard if that? The drug is called clindamycin. 

My next appointment is Thursday for blood work and a sono. Otherwise, just making it through another work week. I'm going to yoga for fertility with a friend tomorrow and then we are going to dinner after. I take my last birth control pill tonight! 

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Throwing in the Kitchen Sink

Today has been extra long. Maybe it's because we woke up early and accomplished a lot by noon, and maybe it's the extra hour. I'm not thrilled about how early in got dark out, but hey, that comes with this time of year. 

Multiple times this weekend I looked outside to see snow flurries/sleet. Nothing stuck to the ground but a few rooftops and cars were covered with a dusting of snow this morning. It's starting to feel less like fall and more like winter. There are a few trees that still have pretty leaves on them, but most trees are now barren. 

Yesterday we hung out mostly.  I did some quilting, and W worked on some random stuff around the house with my FIL.  We then went to the movies to see Flight and it was really good. From there we hit up the in-law's for some free and delicious dinner. 

This morning we woke up early to go to yoga. I finally convinced W to join me for a class. The class was challenging but also amazing and I felt so great after. The place we went also has a hot tub, sauna, and steam shower that we both used after. It was a pretty fabulous way to spend a Sunday morning. 

I hate to admit it, but it was the kind of weekend that made me glad we don't have any kids yet. We did exactly what we wanted and that's something I don't take for granted. 

Tomorrow I have an appointment to do an endometrial biopsy. I've had one done before so know what to expect, but I also don't expect it to be enjoyable. I'm willing to throw the kitchen sink in on this cycle, so whatever helps I'm willing to try. 

I started Lupron on Thursday and have been having slight headaches. It's nothing terrible, but just pesky and present. My first shot last week I started bleeding a bunch and have a bruise to show for it. I guess I was a little rusty. I take my last birth control pill tomorrow and have another appointment this Thursday. After that we will start Lovenox, Neupogen, and Estrogen. I found out the Estrogen will be an IM shot but it's only every few days. I also called to get a price on the Neupogen and it wasn't nearly as bad as I had expected.  

I'm really looking forward to Thankgiving with my family. We are going to my sister's house and I will get to see her pregnant belly for the first time in months. I can't wait to rub it (making her uncomfortable doing so) for good luck!