Not Good

Today was my first ultrasound. From the title of this post, I'm sure you can tell it didn't go well. I was shaking like crazy and my pulse was super high. They first drew blood and then we started the ultrasound. W was there, holding my hand watching along with me. 

 I knew what we were looking for. After a few seconds, the technician turned the screen more towards herself. She looked and looked, and didn't find anything. There was a small spot that she said could be a gestational sac, but it was really small. We talked about dates, and then she agreed there should at least be a larger gestational sac as well as a fetal pole. None of those things were present. 

She said she couldn't say for sure what was going on and that we had to wait for my HCG results. If my levels continued to rise I would have to return for another scan. There was still a chance for an ectopic pregnancy as well. 

 We talked about whether I had frozen embryos and agreed that things weren't looking good based on the fact that I was supposed to be 6w1d. 

W's face dropped and as he walked out he looked so sad. I felt awful. We sat in the car and said nothing for a while. It definitely wasn't the way we wanted things to go today. 

We went out for breakfast and talked about everything. I had a call from the clinic while we were there and I listened to the voicemail. On the message she said my HCG levels had dropped and for me to call her back. I was honestly glad we weren't going to be stuck in more beta hell and have to repeat the ultrasound. 

I called back and talked to the NP. She said my HCG levels had dropped to 16.8 and to stop all of my meds. She said I should get a period within 1-2 weeks, but perhaps sooner. I have to go back monday to get my HCG levels checked again. I asked about a RPL (Recurrent Pregnancy Loss) panel, but since this pregnancy is considered chemical, she didn't think insurance would cover the cost. She welcomed me to call the financial advisor to find out. She then said we could treat the next cycle as if I do have RPL issues. We will use Lovenox and probably add IV intralipids. Apparently these help to suppress the immune system. 

We then talked about a FET. I guess I can go ahead the next cycle, but with our vacation (last week of March), I'm not sure how the timing will work out. She said once I get my period and my HCG is negative, I could start estrogen. 

 I can't say I'm extremely surprised. When my initial levels were low and didn't double Dr. Google did not give me promising news. Apparently only about 15% of pregnancies that don't double in a timely fashion turn out OK. Big surprise I fall into the 85%. 

Bring on the hot baths, wine, and sushi.