Sunday, March 4, 2012

Was it Just a Dream?

Being pregnant this time around doesn't even really feel like it happened. It was so short lived and not full of much excitement or joy. I asked W today if it ever even really happened. 

AF showed early this morning after a week of pretty bad lower back pain and cramping. This had started prior to stopping my meds but I brushed it off. I don't usually get back pain with my periods so this has been super unpleasant. Today wasn't the most fun. I broke out the heating pad and snuggled with that for a bit on the couch. Lots of heavy bleeding and clots paired with cramps and lower back pain...good times. I was surprised by how quickly AF showed though (3 days after stopping my meds). 

I have an appointment tomorrow for a repeat beta and they said if I had started bleeding they could also do an ultrasound. Love those dates with "wandy" while AF is visiting.  

The past few days have been ok. I was honestly more upset when my beta didn't double than I have been after finding out about the chemical pregnancy. Sure, another miscarriage sucks, but I guess I was prepared somewhat for that fate. 

We have had lots of good distractions and delicious eating. Friday night we went out to dinner and saw The Lorax in 3-D. I really liked it and had a great time. Saturday afternoon we went to the Syracuse basketball game and then to my in-laws for dinner. Today we just hung out mostly due to AF. I'm amazed at my ability to smile and laugh so soon after such as crappy few weeks.

Here are some of the delicious things I have enjoyed the past few days:
Sushi and wine

MMMM.. coffee. 
bagel with lox

Greek pasta salad. See those delicious hunks of feta?


  1. Yummy! I'm so glad you lived it up! Huge internet hugs hun.

  2. I'm glad you're living it up!

    There isn't anything wrong with eating feta, lox, or drinking coffee while pregnant, though. ;)

    Are you going to be cycling again soon? Or is the vajaja-cam just for follow up purposes?

    1. I will be cycling again this month. I start estrogen today and we will do a FET this month.

      From my cursory research I found some feta cheese was not pasteurized and therefore not safe. Regular salmon was fine but I guess smoked salmon has a higher risk for listeria and is also not safe. I know coffee is fine, but it's something I regretted not giving up when I had my first miscarriage. Due to my own overly safe habits I thankfully have zero regrets. I know I did everything I could.

  3. I'm so sorry!!!!Sending positive thoughts your way!

  4. Sorry I haven't visited in awhile Liz! I suck! I'm so sorry to hear this sweetie! Don't give up! I realized while going through my journey that to make it all work...the moon and the stars have to align just right (i.e just the right embryo during just the right cycle,) but it DOES happen! You just have to be patient and have faith that it WILL happen! I just know it will for you!

  5. MMMM....that food looks sensational! You should have thrown a nice brie in there for good measure (or blue/brie-even better)!

    I'm keeping everything crossed for your FET!

  6. I know what you mean about staying away from certain foods- if/when something goes wrong you don't want to be able to pin it on ANYTHING that you did or didn't do. I was the same way, and know that it wasn't my fault that we ended up with a chemical this round. So jealous you're transferring again this month! When about will it be?

  7. You eat just like me! I love sushi, lox and cream cheese and Dunkin Donuts and feta! I'm sorry AF was mean, but glad to hear that you are recovering and have a FET to look forward to. Hang in there!

  8. I am going through my own AF hell, so I feel you. It sounds like you are in a pretty good place to move forward and hopefully get your little baby.
    Good luck this go-round!