Friday, March 30, 2012


That's how many of the frozen embryos we transferred implanted. I had the formality of my beta today to tell me what I already knew. The nurse said, "Hey, you never know" when I told her I knew it was negative. When she left the room W also said that is also the slogan for the lottery.
 I started testing the day before we left for vacation and nothing ever appeared. I used Wondfo and bought 3 FRER tests. I only used one of those at 7dp5dt and that's when I knew it was over. The consolation prize? An amazing vacation in Mexico. We ate, drank, swam, relaxed, read, ziplined, snokeled, rappelled, sunned ourselves, and enjoyed each other and the surroundings. I think every 2ww should end either with a positive pregnancy test or a relaxing vacation. Add that to my bill!

Our resort was amazing and adults only so I didn't have any great (or not so great) families to watch and feel jealous about. No cute babies or screaming children, so it was pretty great. I read 2 1/2 of the 3 Hunger Games books and can't wait to see the movie. 

At my appointment this morning I asked about another IVF cycle. We can start as soon as AF shows by taking BCP's. Oh joy! They gave me a free pack of pills and told me to call on CD 1. We discussed the Lupron and Antagonist protocols and the NP gave me a few good reasons why the Antagonist wouldn't be a good idea. 

First, my estradiol levels peaked at 7672 last cycle. Since I wasn't on any antagonist we were able to pull that out of the "back pocket" to make my levels drops way down. Also, they retrieved 28 eggs. With no suppression the NP said my response could be scary, especially with polycystic ovaries. We will switch from Menopur to Luveris this cycle and use a much lower dose. She said I may stim for more days but hopefully we will keep my estradiol levels a bit lower and more under control. 

How do I feel about doing it again? Eh, whatever it takes, right? I'm not excited to go through the egg retrieval process again, but it will be ok. I don't think waiting or taking any time off helps me. In fact, it just reminds me of the negative experience with all the waiting with RE #1. 

BTW, we transferred all 4 of our frozen embryos. I'm not sure what their grades were, how many cells survived, etc. We decided to thaw all 4 thinking they wouldn't all make it. I wanted to transfer 3 this time but when we were told all 4 survived, my RE and I agreed to put them all back. Part of the decision making process is that with the package deal we bought in order to move on to another fresh cycle you have to use up all of the frozen ones first. I wanted to transfer 3, so it didn't make sense to keep just one frozen. I'm pretty bummed that none of my 4 blastocysts implanted. I guess it wasn't the right time or the right embryos. That's all I can really say about it. No use feeling badly. 

Onward and upward. 


  1. I am so sorry that it didnt work. I just booked our trip to Mexico also. I decided to stay at an all adult resort. It just seems much easier, especially after a failed ivf.

  2. Ugh, nada sucks, but I LOVED the tone of this post. You have absolutely the right attitude and outlook about it all. I'm so glad you have another cycle ready to go!

  3. I'm so sorry it didn't work :( I think it's great that you are able to stay positive about it though. And I agree, a vacation to Mexico does solve a lot of life's problems! I hope your next cycle has a much better outcome.

  4. Oh, no! I popped over here this morning because I was so curious, and then remembered you were on vacay.

    Your vacation sounds like heaven! I'm so glad you were able to have a great time. Yes, let's use up those babies and start anew with some freshies, shall we?

    I would have transferred them all too! I seriously have to think about the amount I want to transfer, and I want to push the envelope since the two I transferred didn't make it and I had none to freeze.

    Our hotel in Barbados is adult only too. I think that will help keep me focused on relaxing instead watching families.

  5. So sorry to hear this but I think you have a great attitude.

    And yay for Mexico!

    Good luck with your next cycle!

  6. I'm sorry it didn't work....but onward and upward sounds like a good plan.

    Your vacation sounds heavenly. It sounds like the best consolation prize. I hope it's the last vacation you get to go on for a while :)

  7. I'm so sorry it didn't work :( But it seems like you are doing really well-I need to take some positivity tips from you! The *right* embryo will implant-I know it!

    I'm JEALOUS of your vacation-it sounds amazing!!!

  8. I'm so sorry :( Not fair at all. I have to say Im pretty jealous about your mexico vacation! :) Glad you had a great time!

  9. My heart goes out to you... I'm so sorry to hear that your cycle didn't work out. Lovely that you could go on a holiday... sounds like you did so many amazing things. Thinking of you and glad you can move on quickly to another cycle xoxo

  10. It really sucks that didn't work with four embryos but you got the best attitude and I am really glad you are getting right back on the horse. Love those adult resort only hotels in Mexico. We stayed at one last year and it was awesome.

  11. As usual, I am so inspired by your attitude. And amazed, as I know I'd be mired in the middle of FET-fail AND post-vacation depression right now.

    Your trip sounded perfectly fabulous though- I am so glad you guys got to go enjoy that. I'm hoping our trip the day after our second beta is equally cathartic, whatever the results.

    Also, that effing sucks balls and I am so sorry you have to go through all of this again. So, so sorry.

  12. This is such an inspiring post. Your attitude about moving forward is so positive. I know this is NOT the news you would have liked to get on vacation, but I think you are dealing so well.

    I wish you much more luck on your next go-round.

  13. I'm sorry Liz. I'm glad you had a great time on vacation though. Best of luck with the next cycle.