Matron of Honor

My sister is getting married July 23rd of this year and I am the matron of honor in her wedding. Unfortunately my sister lives about 3 hours away and we don't see each other that often. She was my maid on honor in my wedding in October of 2009 and it was pretty obvious I would play that role in her wedding (I am really happy to be the one). The problem is, she went dress shopping with her friends a few weeks ago. Lately she has been pressuring me to go look at dresses and maybe even order one. I can't remember when they ordered the dresses for my wedding, but I know I still have some time.

The thing is, I'm not ready. I weigh a little more than I would like right now and am really hoping I will be pregnant for her July wedding. Her friends like a specific dress from David's Bridal but she also gave me the option of picking my own dress. The biggest issue is I WANT TO BE PREGNANT and don't want to buy a dress yet. There, that's my rant.

In other news I think the rash that developed on my hands was not a side effect of Lupron and was instead a side effect of too much hand sanitizer and really cold temperatures. My hands ended up cracking and becoming really dry. I talked with someone today who showed me her hands and they looked even worse that mine. I bought some Burt's Bees hand lotion and that seems to be helping.

We joined the gym for 2011 yesterday. I had been going for over 2 months on a free month membership, but finally got busted last week. We went the past two nights but had to leave earlier than we wanted to get home and do my shot. My body really seems to be adjusting to the Lupron and I am have far fewer side effects. I am still waiting on my period which seems to be allusive. The nurse at my RE's office said it should be about 10 days after starting Lupron. Tonight was our 9th shot, so tomorrow is the 10th day. Please come on out lady friend (wow, she's my friend now)!

I was really hoping originally that I would be starting stims this week, but I realize much of this is a waiting game and out of my control. I know once we start the stims it will all happen very quickly. I am able to talk with one of the mom's of the kids I work with since she also went through IVF. She said the most important thing is to reduce my stress and not let my mind play games with me. She said I should do whatever relaxes me. I love taking baths but know I will have to stop this soon. I have a great new book I have been reading and we have been going to bed much earlier. It is really relaxing to lie in bed next to my hubby and read a great book.

We had brunch with some friends on Sunday who have a 5 month old baby girl. The wife of the couple (C) was a classmate of my husband's and she got pregnant 2/3 of the way through school. When we got to know her better, she told me the baby wasn't planned. Their insurance had changed and they had been using the "pull and pray" method of birth control. C ended up taking this entire year off from school and will go back next summer to complete her final year of schooling. When we first got there they were running behind schedule. C still had her hair up in her towel and was chopping veggies. I immediately noticed a pregnancy test on the counter. Eventually her hubby took it off with a bunch of other stuff, but it was staring me in the face. It was hard to pretend like I didn't see it.

We ended up staying about 5 hours and the pregnancy test issue came up as C and I were talking in another room. I asked her if she is able to take birth control while nursing and she said she is on a progesterone only "light pill" but that it completely throws off her cycle. Her hubby made her take the test because she hadn't had her period, but she is not pregnant. I had a great time with their little girl and it was the first time we saw her that she didn't cry when I held her. She is starting to babble sounds and imitate a little bit and I got her laughing really hard. I had a great time playing with her. And then the question came up: When are you guys going to have kids? We have debated telling them about all of our issues, but the main reason we haven't is because they take their fertility for granted (I'm not positive of this but it's hard not to think it.) They got pregnant without even trying and here we are, dropping a ton of money for the chance to get pregnant.  We had a great time with them and are so glad to find other people who we have so much in common with (I think that is part of why they want us to have kids.) We are planning to go x-country skiing with them in two weeks and my hubby is planning to take the baby on him while skiing. He is very athletic and confident (especially when it comes to skiing), but I think he is crazy!