Miracles DO happen

So I had my baseline/suppression check on Friday to get the green light to continue with stims. I had my appointment at 7:45 and left with what I though was plenty of time. I really had to pee about 20 minutes into my 1 hour 10 minute ride (usually about a 45 minute drive), but knew I was already pressing it on time so didn't stop to go. I was dying when I got to about 10 minutes away and hit stop-and-go traffic. I really started to stress and then my phone rang from the clinic. The were wondering where I was and were really annoyed that I was running late. I didn't realize it, but the person comes to pick up the blood at 8:00. The woman on the phone said they would try to get them to wait since I was so close. I rushed to find a parking spot in the garage and hustled up to the clinic. Needless to say, they weren't the happiest to see me at about 8:05. The nurse who is usually friendly didn't even smile back at me. They immediately took me in and started to draw my blood. I hadn't really thought to drink a bunch of water and about 1/3 of the way to filling up a tube of blood it stopped. The nurse thought it was strange and kept trying, but no more blood was coming out. All I could think was that it was probably all going to my heart since it was beating so fast. They then switched to the left arm and were successful. This made me feel extra bad, because I already knew I was running late.

The ultrasound tech was waiting outside the room for me and wanted to bring me right down to the ultrasound room. I begged to stop at the bathroom on the way and at that point was unable to empty my bladder completely since I had held it so long. She said my RE was stuck at the hospital and was trying to make it on time to be there for the ultrasound. When he didn't show up, she decided to "start without him" since she had another appointment after me. As soon as she put the magic wand it she immediately said my bladder was still too full and that I had to try to empty it more. At that point I was undressed from the waist down and she gave me a sheet and directed me back to the bathroom. I was more successful this time, but knew I didn't completely do the job. When I went back into the room she put the wand back in and said "that's better" so I guess it was good enough. She immediately started her measurements. There was a screen to my left so I was able to see the ultrasound and by now know how to read the measurements and view most things. She first measured my cyst, and like I figured, it had grown to about 6.5 cm. I had been feeling it more and assumed this was going to be the case. She then measured my ovaries and started to look for my uterus and get measurements there. Here was what happened next:

Ultrasound tech (UT): Got my uterus into view and kinda paused and asked me, "Is there any chance you could be pregnant?"
Me: "I don't think so."
UT: "It almost looks like you have a small cyst or early gestational sac there."

I saw it... a small circle in my uterus. She then said she was going to call and see if my RE was going to make it or not. When she got back into the room she said he wasn't going to make it, but that she wanted to look at one more thing. Back in goes the wand. She was super quick and and I then asked, "So there was another cyst?' and she just said "No." She then said that I shouldn't continue my Lupron until I talked with my RE and that she was going to add a pregnancy test to my blood work. She said that my lining was too thick and then said I was all done and that I didn't have to check back in at the desk and could just leave.

I was shaking at this point and waited to get out of the building before calling my hubby. He asked how it went and how I was doing and I said "I'm totally freaking out." I told him I was going to head to work but had to stop and buy a pregnancy test first. I wasn't going to be able to wait hours and still focus the rest of the day without doing this. He was pretty quiet, and I said I would call him in a little bit.

I headed out of Syracuse and stopped about 20 minutes later at Wegmans. I'm not sure if you're familiar with Wegmans at all, but it is my favorite supermarket. They have a bunch of them all over Central New York and recently Alec Baldwin was in their commercials since his mother lives in Syracuse.

 I always stop to use their bathrooms while working, because they beat a lot of the bathrooms at the houses I go into. I was driving knowing that my IVF cycle wasn't going to continue at this point, and that was my main concern. I didn't really think I could be pregnant at all. I went into the store and bought a pack of 3 First Response tests. If I bought pregnancy tests in the past I always tried to purchase something else so it wasn't the only thing. This time I couldn't even think clearly enough to think of something else to purchase. The cashier said "good luck" to me upon cashing me out. I don't think I even responded, I had a hard enough time finding my credit card and differentiating if from any other cards in my wallet. I took the test immediately to the bathroom of which was being cleaned. As I was waiting I was so much is a haze that I got hit with the men's room bathroom door because I was standing right in front of it. It took the guy about 3 more minutes to finish cleaning the bathroom and I entered. I took the packaging out and POAS in a public restroom that happened to be quite crowded at the time. The lines appeared pretty quickly and it was a BFP!!!!!!!!! I was still so much in shock that I ended up squirting soap all over myself while washing my hands. A bunch of people witnessed it and I felt pretty dumb. I went to my car and pulled the test back out and stared at it. Still two lines. I took a pic on my phone and sent it to my hubby and tried calling him multiple times. He called back about 10 minutes later and was super excited. I was still to shocked to even think about being excited.

The RE called me at about 11:15 while I was working with a child. I recognized the number and was happy to have had a puzzle out that the kid continued to work on while singing in the background. He said what I already knew, that I was pregnant and that my blood work confirmed it. I think he was almost as shocked as I was and had already done some research into Lupron and early pregnancy. He had some studies he told me about that there is probably as much of a risk of birth defects as with any pregnancy, the rate didn't seem to be increased. He told me I needed to start my progesterone ASAP and continue until told to stop. I was to refrain from sex, any activity with "lots of jostling" such as running or aerobics and that I should call the clinic to schedule another ultrasound for about 2 weeks from then. He preferred if it was in the afternoon so he could be there. He then went on to say he wasn't sure when I conceived and that I obviously wasn't pregnant on Dec 22nd when we did the trial transfer. He was interested to know that I took a home pregnancy test on Jan 5th (the day I started Lupron) and that it was negative. He said at the next ultrasound we would try to determine how far along I was. He said to take things "one day at a time" and that it was a "miracle baby." Between having polycystic ovaries, blocked tubes (to our knowledge), and a huge cyst on one of my tubes, it was amazing I managed to get pregnant. He warned me that my risk of miscarriage was high with PCOS and that I should be excited, but cautious.

My hubby came home that afternoon with a huge bunch of flowers and gave me a big hug.

 I have to admit I had been feeling a little bit pregnant, but attributed it all to side effects from Lupron. The only one I couldn't explain was my heightened sense of smell. We had gone to the gym the day before and I had felt nauseous from every stinky sweaty guy there. I can update more soon, but I had been in so much shock that I wasn't sure I was ready to update my blog up till this point. I feel badly for making another pregnancy announcement for all those people because I know how much it stings each time. I also want people to know that there is hope for everyone who feels hopeless. I was feeling a little guilty about announcing it to my new online friends.

I am having a hard time shifting gears and am feeling a slight loss over my IVF cycle (really weird, I know.) It is hard to accept and realize that I AM PREGNANT!