I mentioned earlier my fear of another chemical pregnancy. I'm pretty sure my fear is becoming a reality. My beta HCG levels came back at 19.5 today. Yeah, that's less than half of what it was last chemical pregnancy at this point (43). I'm not alluding myself at all. I'll return on Tuesday (closed Monday for the holiday) and have my blood drawn again, but I may stop my meds before then. I bought some FRER tests and I'm going to watch the progression in the next few days. I used a FRER and a cheapy test this afternoon. On the cheapy test today the second line really wasn't any darker than it was 2 days ago.
I did find out we have 2 frozen embryos and I booked a follow-up appointment with Dr. Greene for June 8th, so we have a backup plan for now. Honestly though, I don't think FET's work for me. It's just part of the contract we are in that we have to use them before moving on to another fresh cycle.
Speaking of fresh cycles, we only have one more paid for. I feel like we need to change something. What we are doing does not seem to be working.
I'm going to ask about PGD. I know it's expensive, but so are repeated rounds of IVF. I feel like it was stupid to expect a different result with the same (more or less) protocol for IVF #2 and #3.
I wish I had better news to share today and I hate the disappointment of another (likely) failed IVF cycle. This process is starting to become really disheartening.
Oh, Liz, I'm so sorry that this is yet again, another disappointing and disheartening cycle. The hint of a line too, must have made this extremely difficult for you to see the slight hope, and also knowing that it could be another chemical. This is just too much for one couple to take on. I pray your last two frozen embies are the ones or that your last fresh cycle has much more potential.
ReplyDeleteI do think it's a good idea to switch things up. Were you doing lupron or antagonist? I failed at my lupron and was SURE that antagonist was going to be the cure for me. It sounds like you're doing everything else that you can. I also was planning PGD, it was just such an unknown with my egg quality, I thought the price was worth it to at least get some genetically great embryos.
(Hugs)
Awww, Liz. Sheet, sheet, sheet. The chemical game is just the absolute WORST and I am so so sorry you're being threatened with that again. I really am hoping for a stellar more-than-doubled reassuring beta on Tuesday. As much as it sucks, I'd keep going on the meds until then. You can do four days- I know you can. Or can you push for a repeat on Saturday instead?
ReplyDeleteIf this doesn't pan out, I would definitely consider PGD next time around. I have to believe that there is something going on that has been undetected thus far. It's just not logical that you'd end up with these results from five transfers if there wasn't.
So much love, and so many hugs. Good luck.
I'm so sorry you're stuck in this place of uncertainty. :( Sending you lots of good thoughts.
ReplyDeleteBleh! Chemicals suck!
ReplyDeleteI hope you get some answers, or better yet, success with your FET. I will still cross my fingers for this cycle, even though I know there isn't much hope :( Hang in there.
I'm so sorry this cycle doesn't appear to have worked either :( I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better. I'll continue to send T&Ps that this infertility hell you're in will end soon.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you!
ReplyDeleteI wish you had some better news to share. I am hoping you get some answers soon. Thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteCrap! I was so hopeful that this was the one! Sending lots of thoughts and prayers your way. Take care of yourself during this time...
ReplyDeleteHow irritating that you have to wait until Tuesday!!! I hope you can still enjoy a little bit of the long weekend. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry about you going through this. Is there any way that perhaps for the remaining paid cycle your doc will think of perhaps changing your protocol? I know everyone says that IVF is a lot of trial and error but its always heart breaking when things like this happen. Perhaps incoporating a different protocol as well as looking into PGD. Thinking of you during this time.
ReplyDeleteOh hun... I'm so sorry to hear that you feel this is a chemical pregnancy... I wish you didn't have to wait until Tues to find out. After all our failed cycles and chemical pregnancies, PGD feels like the right choice for us. It is definitely more expensive, but you and I seem to be able to "get pregnant", so embryo quality might be the issue - and PGD prevents repeated failures/chem pregs from embryos that would never have made it. It took a while to get my head around it... and hearing that all our 4 embryos in January were no good for transfer was heartbreaking... but it did prevent 3 more failed FET cycles with all the medications, emotions and time wasted. Hope you get the info you need at your appt and always here if you want to chat about it. Love to you and thinking of you during this difficult time xoxo
ReplyDeleteDon't give up yet. When I finally got my bfp, my hcg number was much lower than what the charts I found online said it should be. 20 weeks later I'm still here. Not trying to deny the possibility of a chemical, but don't lose all hope. Everyone's body is different and this baby could have implanted late. Hang in there and I'm sorry you're going through this. The waiting is so hard.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry Liz.
ReplyDeleteOh Liz...I'm sorry that you have to go through this :( I am still going to hope for the best for you....
ReplyDeleteLIz, I so so so hope you're wrong. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteCrap. Crap. Crap :( xoxox
ReplyDeleteI agree with Kate. I am not giving up hope on you yet!! I really hope it turns out to be your miracle bub xx
ReplyDeleteSo sorry you're stuck in the place of uncertainity. I can imagine it is driving you mad. Sending hugs and some hope you way.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could say something to make it all better. I am sorry this is not 'the' time. Just keep with your meds until your next beta, I have heard of miracles. I won't say that you will have one of your own, because I know it hurts to get your hopes up, but I'll keep the little bit of hope for you.
ReplyDeleteI will be thinking of you and hoping you can figure out a better plan for you and find a little peace. I'm just so sorry.