Saturday, May 26, 2012

Here Today, Gone Tomorrow

I bought some FRER tests on Thursday. When I got home I used one of those and a wondfo test. Both had faint lines. I waited 24 hours and then did the same thing. The FRER no longer had a faint line and the wondfo was a little lighter. This showed me my levels were not climbing but instead likely falling. I made the executive decision to stop my meds. 

I know a lot of people commented that I should stay on them, but it didn't seem to make any sense. My HCG levels were obviously not increasing and my butt has enough lumps from the PIO already. 

I've had some bad moments and I've also still been able to laugh with W. I have a friend I met through the yoga for fertility class last summer who has also had a few chemical pregnancies and we've been talking. It's nice to have someone else who has been through the same thing. She recently had a follow-up talk with the same RE so I can get an idea of what he is going to say and build my list of questions. 

On Thursday night we were asked to pick up my brother from his after school program. My brother is 10 and was adopted from China 5 years ago. W had gotten us lobster to lift our moods since it is my favorite food. We got one for Sean and W coached him the entire time on how to eat it and do most of it himself. It was really sweet to watch him being so patient and encouraging. 

A few hours later after Sean left W came to me and said that he knows it doesn't matter how we get our kids. Sean is pretty awesome and he loves him the same.

Obviously we are going to use our frozen embryos and the last IVF cycle that we have before talking about our next steps. From there I'm not sure where we are going to go. 

This weekend we are planning on finishing planting our garden and continuing to work on our bathroom. We picked out a paint color and ordered light fixtures so we are getting close. We are still waiting for our vanity to come in. I'm looking forward to being able to use a toilet upstairs again.  

5 comments:

  1. Ugh, I am so sorry to read this Liz. :(

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  2. I am so sorry that this cycle didnt work out.

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  3. Oh Liz... I'm so sorry. I've found each chemical pregnancy almost more difficult than just a plain BFN... the hope that is then cut short. My heart is with you and FXd for your next step xoxo

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  4. I'm so sorry Liz. ((hugs))

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  5. I'm sorry Liz :( With all we "infertiles" go through to **get** pregnant, you would think we could catch a break and **stay** pregnant. Thinking of you!

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