Tuesday, May 29, 2012

A Forced but Badly Needed Break

When I woke up this morning I felt awful. I was nauseous and had a headache. I had to be at my clinic early for beta #2.  

I started spotting in the morning and had pretty bad cramps last night, so I knew I wasn't going to see an increase in my levels. I waited almost all day before calling them. There were some severe storms in the area and I guess their system was down most of the day.

by 11:00 I was bleeding full force so when I first talked to the nurse I told her it was CD 1. She scheduled me an appointment for Thursday as a baseline so that I could start a FET and told me she would call me with the test results once they came in. 

My HCG level dropped to 14. That's only down 5.5 points in 5 days, WTF??!! I had also requested my TSH levels be checked again and they were fine. When she told me my HCG number she said I wasn't going to be able to do the FET this month. We need to wait until my levels go below 5 to be considered negative. I have a repeat beta scheduled for next Monday and my follow-up (WTF) appointment with my RE that Friday.

I'm not sure how I feel about a break. Part of me wants to just keep going, but I realize I probably need a break. We have done 4 transfers (2 fresh and 2 frozen) since December. I've been on some kind of hormone for over a year.... isn't that crazy?! I have either been cycling, trying to cycle and getting cancelled, or on BCP's. I don't even know what a unmedicated cycle would look like for me at this point. I guess there's only one way to find out.


  1. I'm really sorry :( I know you said you had your TSH levels checked, but did they actually tell you a number? Mine was within the "normal" range (3.2) but when trying to get pregnant it needs to be a 1 or so I have read. Also, have they talked about any prednisone or something like that to rule out any immune reactions? Its so hard to go through all of this. hugs

    1. My TSH today was 1.8 I think. I know it was under 2 for sure but it has been a bit above 3 in the past. I plan to request a full thyroid panel at my WTF appointment.

      We have treated RPL with a blood thinner (lovenox), dexamethasone to suppress my immune system, and intralipids to suppress NK cells. I'm not sure about the use of prednisone, but will certainly ask. Thanks for the input!

  2. Ugh, so very sorry. I hope your body gets what it needs out of this break and that it helps you both physically and emotionally to be up for next month.

  3. Oh no, I'm so sorry. I'm on a forced break right now too after being on meds of one kind or another for 8 months straight. It's good to take some time off from treatments, but it's been harder than I thought - I've actually been wondering if IF drugs are addictive! My advice is take the time to process the last year, get some R&R and enjoy doing the things that you can't or won't let yourself do while TTC and stay as distracted as you can. Hugs.

  4. We had a bit of a forced break after our firsr IVF cycle/miscarriage. At first it seemed like a horrible idea and like I was kind of stuck, but it ended up going pretty quickly and I was in a much better place physically and emotionally for our second fresh cycle a few months later. Enjoy your break and the freedom it gives you away from appointments and fertility drugs! Thinking of you, and hoping the time passes quickly :)

  5. Ugh. I kind of know how you feel. I've been on a "break" since my IVF cycle in March because of my kidney stone/infection. I'm hoping that I will be "off" my break come my follow up appointment on Monday. The waiting is hard, makes you feel like no progress is being made. I hope a (short) rest is just what your body needs to get preggo with a 9 monther!

  6. I am just so sorry. I know how hard this must be for you, but am glad to see that you are not giving up. I do however think that this down cycle will be good for you. 4 transfers since December is a lot! My clinic won't do them back to back. Take this one to relax and partake in some fun activities. Make it about what makes you happy. Good luck my friend.

  7. I was so upset when I was told that I had to have a break b/c my beta wasn't yet back to normal... but it ended up being just what I needed and I went into the next cycle feeling so much better. I've found that endless hormones really mess with me too. Hope you are able to rest and rejuvenate this month and thinking of you always xoxo