Thursday, May 24, 2012
IVF #3 Beta Day
This morning I drove in bright and early to get my blood drawn. My cat brought his favorite toy into our bed and was playing with it at 4:30. I was unable to fall back asleep after that. I laid in bed feeling so scared and nervous about today. I stopped peeing on those cheapy tests a few days ago because I continued to get faint lines that weren't getting much lighter or darker. It was stressing me out and I realized it wasn't going to change the outcome. I didn't do well with acceptance after the transfer this cycle. I was doing really well leading up to that point and then fell apart. Peeing on things made me feel in and completely out of control all at the same time. I'd love this to work, but to be honest, I'm most scared of another chemical at this point. The clinic closes at noon today so I should be finding out in the next few hours. The waiting is so incredibly difficult. I'm going to try to accept the outcome, whatever it may be.