Saturday, August 13, 2011

Roadblock

I'm glad I went for another ultrasound before doing the transfer. Yesterday afternoon I had another ultrasound followed by an appointment with Dr. S. The ultrasound revealed the same amount of fluid plus traces of additional fluid next to it. 

I then met with Dr. S. He pointed out the trace fluid and gave me three options. 1) Go ahead with the transfer despite there being more fluid 2) Cancel the transfer and do an endometrial biopsy, 3) Cancel the transfer and do nothing. 

We talked for a while and I asked for his best recommendation. He said none of those situations are ideal, but since we know a FET is less successful than a fresh transfer, it would be best to eliminate any other variables that may reduce the chances of implantation. He also said he would hate for it to not work and look back and say we should have waited. He looked at the ultrasound and my trial transfer and tried to determine if he could avoid the fluid. It was possible, but not the ideal placement for them. He was planning to place the embryos where the new fluid appeared. He doesn't know why the fluid keeps reappearing since I don't have a hydrosalpinx and there is no possible reason at this time. He recently rechecked my testosterone levels and they were normal (thanks Metformin!)  He's not sure we will be able to avoid this happening in the future, but it is probably best to wait and see what happens in subsequent cycles. It's not a problem I had doing IUI's or on anything ultrasound until last month. 

I opted for choice number 2. He did the biopsy right then and it was not fun. I wasn't able to take anything prior so there was a lot of cramping, but nothing horrible. It felt similar to an IUI but with much more cramping. I saw the tissue he removed and it was a decent amount. 

After the biopsy I went back into his office to get my prescription and paperwork to bring to the receptionist. At first he wrote me a prescription for oral progesterone and told me to take it for a week and then would start the protocol for the FET once I get my period. He then informed me that he is going to be out of town from Sep 1-11. We looked at a calendar and determined that if I took the progesterone and we started another cycle, the next time we would do the transfer would fall during that time he was away. He offered that the other RE in the office could do it, but I've never even met the guy. So, after some discussing with the nurse he decided to put me on birth control pills and keep me on them until he is back. That way he will be there to make any decisions and not have to communicate over the phone with the office during my cycle. 

In a sense I feel relief. I know this is the best decision and gives me the best chances for the future. I'm not sure why this fluid started appearing and has now become a chronic problem. I'm hoping giving my body a break for a month will help and the fluid won't reoccur in the future. 

I had the cyst and surgery and wasn't able to start trying until January. Once January hit we did the IVF that got cancelled because I got pregnant, a miscarriage in Feb followed by a D&C and laparopscopy #2. March was spent waiting for my cycle to start again after the miscarriage, I tried Clomid + IUI in April, injectables + IUI in May, Lupron started for IVF in June, IVF cycle in July was cancelled at the time of the transfer due to fluid, and a cancelled FET cycle in August. I need to step away and take a month off, forced or not. 

At the same time I am disappointed. Disappointed that this has been so difficult, disappointed that my body won't cooperate, and disappointed that I will be in limbo for another month. I need to step back from infertility and distract myself. I need to live life outside of trying to get pregnant and just be. This is going to be hard, but it is something I know I have to do. At this point I don't know how to not focus on TTC. We shall see how the next month pans out. As I left the office my RE apologized that we had to cancel the transfer again. My response, "I'm learning how to be patient." 

5 comments:

  1. I'm sorry you had to push out your FET once again. You're probably right- a break cycle might do you and your body good. We put our bodies though so much month after month. Try to enjoy your month off :)

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  2. Well, Im bummed for you about this new fluid situation! But I totally think you made the right decision by having the biopsy and waiting for a transfer. You want everything lookin fantastic in there for your babes. Although, I know this has to be super frustrating to wait! Glad you are giving your body a much needed break. I was thinking today that I put my body through so much this summer. June was my lap surgery, july we starting stims for this IVF cycle and then a retrieval and transfer in August. I'm sure if my body could talk she would say " F you Sarah!" :)

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  3. I am sorry you have to put things on hold. It sucks! I have also had a biopsy like that, also quite unexpectedly! No fun. Try your best to enjoy your time off, I know how very hard it is though, but it may be just what your body needs to get ready for next time.

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  4. This blows. I am sorry.

    I took a couple month break two different times because I needed to refocus and spend some time doing things for me. I am glad you are doing something for yourself. I know it was forced on you, but it sounds like you need it.

    Good luck with the wait and the biopsy.

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  5. I'm sorry, but I'm glad you are able to take a healthy attitude about it. I'm just now getting back into my normal routine after a week and a half of finals pressure and then 4 days of rowing competition in which I could think of nothing but rowing. It was perhaps the best vacation from IF EVER. If you can find something to fill up your time and energy for a little bit, it's amazing how freeing it can be.

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