Today is the day that I could have become a mother. Instead I'm trying to stay positive, trying to keep my head up.
My mood goes from feeling happy and satisfied to sad and like there are a ton of bricks on my chest. I thought I would be pregnant at this point. When I got pregnant I was convinced it would happen again easily. Easy is not an accurate word to describe this journey.
I thought having a baby was supposed to be fun, exciting, and pleasurable. Instead, the past 15 months have been trying to say the least. I have shed so many tears and learned a lot about myself. I felt sad, happy, excited, and depressed all within an hour's time a thousand times over.
I wish I was holding an adorable lovable baby today. Instead, I will hug my hubby and furbabies and be glad for everything we do have. I'm not a mommy yet, but I know I will be someday soon.