2016 in Review

I've done this post every year for the past few years and I always enjoy doing it. Even though we are part of the way through February already, it's always nice to reflect back on the past year. Reading this post for last year makes me sad I didn't keep up with blogging much this past year. I'd love to recap what I did each month like each prior year, but I'm afraid I didn't keep close enough track to do that.



What did you do in 2016 that you'd never done before? 
I took my diet/nutrition seriously and lost a lot of weight. I did the 21 day fix in February and then a round of Whole 30 over the summer. I got back to the weight I was 7 years ago when we got married. Losing all this weight unfortunately ended up in the loss of my wedding ring as it no longer fit my finger and I was still wearing it. Good thing we had insurance and I was able to get a new one, but it was pretty devastating. 
We took a road trip with the kids to North Carolina. We had done vacations, but always flew. This was our first big car trip with all three girls. 

Did you keep your resolutions and will you make more for this year?
I did a great job of trying to get and stay healthier this year. I'm so proud of myself for all of the weight I lost (about 25 pounds) and the shape I'm in. I'm able to run a 5k no problem and with a pretty decent time. Cutting out sugar is a big deal but starches was an even bigger deal. I feel like I got my PCOS under control and learned to listen to my body and how food makes me feel. The Whole 30 was seriously life changing and I'd love to keep up that way of eating as much as possible. I'd also like to make healthier choices regarding exercise and our evening routine. Most nights we don't accomplish much and veg out to the television. It would be nice to spend that time doing more reading or productive tasks. When the weather is nicer it's much easier to feel motivated. I hope to do more running this year and maybe even do a 10k. I also really wish I kept up with this blog better. I'd like to at least do a monthly update post on our lives to have it written down somewhere. Life is so crazy it's hard to find the time though. 

Did anyone close to you give birth?
My friend Michele welcomed a baby boy Benjamin in January. 

Did anyone close to you die?
Luckily, no. 

What countries did you visit?
We stayed in the US but did take a trip to my parent's condo in Florida. It was such a nice trip and we plan to go again this year. Much better than our trip to Mexico the year prior. 

What would you like to have in 2017 that you lacked in 2016?
I would love to lose another 10 pounds and get into the 120's. Taking care of myself and filling my own cup has been so huge for me. W and I struggled some but really communicated well in the end and made some huge realizations. I'd like to make healthier choices that my girls can witness and internalize. 

What dates will be etched upon your memory, and why?
September 3- Lucy and Clara's third ice cream birthday 
October 3- Stella's first Fiesta birthday!
I'm so bad with remembering dates all that's left here is birthdays

What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Taking care of myself and putting myself first for the first time in a long time. It felt so great to have "me time" at the gym and put energy and effort into myself, not always just my kids. W really stepped it up to make this happen by watching all three girls most evenings and preparing dinner while I went to the gym. 

What was your biggest failure?
I can't really think of any ways I feel I really failed this past year. W and I struggled with communication, but things are better now and we are seeing eye to eye more consistently. Making time for each other and date nights has made a huge difference. 

Did you suffer illness or injury?
I got food poisoning in the fall and for the first time since having children felt entirely unable to care for them. It was so bad. Other than that, no major illnesses. Clara and Stella both got ear tubes. 

What was the best thing you bought?
We took two amazing vacations this past year that I funded by working part-time. Our first one was to Florida. It was so nice to get away from Central New York in the winter and have some family time. We had a great trip with some super fun beach time. We also took a trip to North Carolina with friends in August. It was so much fun to be at a beach house all week with our family. I hope we can do that again. 

Where did most of your money go?
Mortgage, bills, food, car, endless amounts of cute kid/baby things. I'm pretty sure this will be the case for a while. I discovered a new kids clothing line this year and spent far too much on it. Luckily the resale value is good!

What did you get really excited about? 
Our vacations and family time. Finally succeeding at losing weight and making progress with my endurance and speed with running. I'd love to do a 10k this year.

What songs will always remind you of 2015?
Renegades by X Ambassadors
Send My Love by Adele
Can't Stop the Feeling and Get Back up Again from the Trolls movie

Compared to this time last year are you:
Happier or Sadder? Definitely happier. Putting time and energy into myself has been huge for me. I'm happy with my weight for the first time in a long time and feeling stronger and more confident at the gym. I got a Y membership for Christmas from my FiL and have been going at least a few times a week.  
Thinner or Fatter? Thinner! I weigh less than I did when we got married 7.5 years ago. I think I'm back to my college weight!
Richer or Poorer? Probably the same

What do you wish you'd done more of?
Saving money haha
What do you wish you'd done less of? 
Arguing and fighting with W. Having three young kids is a huge challenge on our marriage. Amazingly enough, cutting out sugar has made us so much nicer to each other, especially in the mornings. We had a tendency to snap at each other from being crashed and notice we both feel so much more even tempered when we don't consume tons of sugar. 

How did you spend Christmas?
We went to Syracuse for church on Christmas Eve with my MiL and then had dinner at my in-laws after. On Christmas morning my in laws came over after we had breakfast and we opened presents and drank bloody marys. We celebrated with my mom at her house about a week prior as they went to Florida for Christmas. My dad came out a week or two after Christmas for the day to celebrate. We never celebrated with my sister :(

What was your favorite TV program?
We watched a bunch of Naked and Afraid. Prior, we had been totally turned off by the title, but once we realized what it was about we watched it a bunch. 
What was your favorite book of the year?
Wish I had gotten to read more. Even though we started book club back up I still haven't gotten to read any of the books. I'm embarrassed to admit that, but it's true. Most nights I fall asleep on the couch watching T. V.

What were your favorite films of the year?
We saw the Trolls movie at the theatre with Lucy and Clara. It was their first time to the movies and so much fun! It was a super cute movie too. 

What's one thing that would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
I wish I could contribute more financially but it's worth it to be home rather than working every day. 

What kept you sane?
W and my friends. I love my fertility buddies and that we still get together often. Winter is always tough for friendships as we don't live super close to any of my friends. I guess my phone really keeps me sane because it keeps me in contact with the outside world. I wish I got to see my friends more often, but hopefully that will improve with nicer weather. 

Tell us valuable lessons you learned in 2016:
It's so important to fill your own cup as a mom. I spent so much time filling up everyone else's cup and never really prioritized myself. It's worth it to put yourself first because you are much better able to fill the cups of those around you when you're pouring from a full one. 

Diet is so much more important than exercise when it comes to weight loss. I learned a lot by doing a round of Whole 30. I'd love to complete another round and reap the benefits, it's just so hard in our culture to eat well. PCOS feels like so much less of an issue when I fuel my body with the right foods. I wish I had figured this out sooner. 

My Whole 30

The past 30 days I embarked on a personal health journey called the Whole 30. I had completed the 21 Day Fix in February and lost 9 pounds and about 8 inches. It was difficult, but it definitely reset some of my eating habits. After that, I was eating pretty well and exercising consistently, yet wasn't seeing as great of results as I hoped. I had hit a serious plateau with my weight loss and nothing was helping getting through it, not even running.  I was also insanely addicted to sugar. The Whole 30 isn't something I had heard about until recently. W and I have tried a lot of different modifications to our diets, but hadn't ever tried this one. The Whole 30 is basically a 30 day paleo diet (no sugar, no alcohol, no dairy, no grains, no legumes, no "treats" even if healthy, and no MSG, carrageenan, or sulfates). As someone who has the metabolic disorder PCOS, I wanted to try this way of eating to see how it made me feel. I was craving sugar and carbohydrates constantly, drinking an obscene amount of coffee, and feeling sluggish, irritable and tired.

During my 30 days I definitely wasn't perfect as that's incredibly difficult with three young kids. To the best of my knowledge, I stayed away from grains, corn, and beans completely during this time. I had dairy a few times including a sundae once (whoops! No, it was a total once-a-summer opportunity to have one of my favorite and local fresh strawberry sundaes, so I decided to go for it). Other than that, I avoided sugar to the best of my knowledge. I ate coconut chips one night without knowing they had sugar and then finished them one other night even though I knew they had sugar. So, like I said I wasn't perfect, but it was still a huge challenge for me and I saw big changes. 

I wrote a little bit every day about how I felt and here are those thoughts. Don't judge because they were my honest feelings and struggles.

Day 1

Easy. Felt great and prepared. Didn't snack at all after dinner. Did plyo workout and it was hard but completed it. 

Day 2

Felt exhausted in the evening. Fell asleep early. Craved sugar after dinner and never felt satisfied. Definitely drinking less coffee. 

Day 3

Craving sugar. Still want sugar. Ran and it was tough but also had 5 days off. Finally ate some prunes at night and felt satisfied rather than sweets. 

Day 4

Super jittery feeling in the am despite 3 eggs and spinach for breakfast. Headache starts in early afternoon but also stressed. Ready to give in to stress with food. 

Day 5

Stella's tubes. So anxious and super nauseous in am. Less tempted by cravings throughout the day. Lunch out at jimmy johns no problem to stick to it and not tempted to stray. Fewer cravings for sugar. Slight headache in afternoon/evening.  

Day 6

Tired. Didn't do much. Ate meals at home. Still craving sweets after dinner. Ate a bunch of applesauce before bed. Stepped on the scale during the day. Down 3 pounds

Day 7

Sunday. Greek festival. Had great breakfast at home. Greek salad, gyro meat for lunch. Ate one piece of feta. SO tempted by baklava sundae!! Extra irritable it seems. Hoping to be better about exercise next week. Irritable. Kill all the things!

Day 8

Exercised in morning but felt like my muscles had zero energy reserve. Mall with Krista. Hard to resist when eating out and she gets coffee and chocolate. My meal may have had soy or sugar in the dressing. Not satisfied feeling by dinner. Frustrating day being tempted so much and not feeling satisfied. 

Day 9

Struggling. Gymnastics performance for the girls and everyone got donuts after. Felt hungry and deprived.  Def less bloated but feeling not worth it today. Made a salad and even a dressing and then the lettuce tasted bitter and bad. Disappointing. Second half of the day not as bad. Yummy dinner (walnut crusted pork and sweet potato mash)

Day 10

SO irritable and annoyed in the morning. Too much whining. Feeling like I'm going to lose it. So emotional all day. Crashed hard at night and then hr+ of insomnia. 

Day 11

Woke up hungry, jittery so had a chia pouch before Pilates 21 days fix video. Not much appetite. Better mood wise. Walt kill all things, especially me. 

Day 12 

Woke up jittery again so had a chia pouch and then went running. Felt pretty good running. Heart rate high. Felt great during the day. No cravings. Splash pad with girls. Good energy levels. Dinner with friends. Cauliflower pizza with a little cheese. Munched out big time on fruit. 

Day 13

Not too bad. Went strawberry picking and was glad was able to eat as many as I wanted. Tempted to make treats so did a strawberry and coconut milk frozen mixture. Prob not ideal, but yummy. Bought an approved snack at all stops running errands. Fell asleep early. Felt really bloated all day.  Energy levels pretty great. 

Day 14

After today halfway through! Father's Day picnic lunch. Not having hard time with breakfast but wanting treats with celebrations or on weekends. W struggling too. Got iced coffees and girls got a treat. Wishing I could have ice cream. Realizing I use any holiday as an excuse to have sweets. 

Day 15

Kate (my sister) came to visit and lunch with friend char. Not too bad. Lunch not delicious but fine. Wanted a sundae SO bad as Kate got one, so came home and ate a bunch of applesauce. Ran in the morning and felt really good. Energy levels good. Scale frustrating but also high for W so idk. 

Day 16 

Feeling low after visit with Kate. Wanted to give up so badly. Forced myself to look forward to fruit and went to wegmans. Felt much better with some (new) favorite items, especially a paleo granola I found. 

Day 17

Fine during day. Ran in morning and felt pretty good. Dave Matthews show at night. Chili cheese nachos looked pretty delicious. Can tell W is done and doesn't want to do it anymore. Not really losing much weight but trying not to lose faith. 

Day 18

Writing that makes me realize it hasn't been as long as I think. Feels really long! 

Day 19

Starting to feel like autopilot. Ran to wegmans for a few things and still wanted lunch at home. Bought something sweetened by accident and ate a little before realized. 

Day 20!

Not tough. Had picnic lunch at hike and picnic while we watched hot air balloons. 

Day 21

Sunday. Went to the lake and brought own food. Wasn't quite enough food so hungry. Wanting a strawberry sundae from dougs. Felt crampy like ovulating or something. 

Day 22

Feeling fine but sick of same foods kinda. Feeling like I'm looking forward to being done. Really wanted strawberry sundae. Called and they'll stop serving them before I'm finished with my Whole 30. Might have to get one. Ate some sweetened coconut chips instead. 

Day 23

Did leg stuff with heavier weights. Lots of sweat but feeling pretty good. Went to wegmans and found a lunch (salad bar). Was ok. Made second lunch with shaved steak and peppers and was SO good. Had again for dinner. Fruit with dinner really yummy. Made me crave sugar after less. 

Day 24

Ran 5k this morning in 32 mins and was so proud of myself. Didn't feel great doing it, but was motivated by times being announced from the app while running. 

Day 25

Did arm stuff in the morning then Green lakes beach. Not even really craving sugar but got the strawberry sundae. Super melty soupy mess. Not as good as hoped. Big fight with W. Obvious food doesn't make me happy, need to find that within. 

Day 26

Was surprised ice cream didn't bother me more. Feeling down and missing Kate. Didn't exercise today. Not really craving crap anymore. Energy really good, head feeling clear. 

Day 27

Ran 4 miles in am. Exhausting, but making nice progress with my times. Headed to Ithaca. Lunch disappointing as I thought the bakery would have more options. Got wings but they were cold and super gross not heated up. Frustrated and a little hangry. Went out for ice cream after dinner and then W came home and tried to eat everything in the house. Obviously sugar put him in overdrive. 

Day 28

Went to the lake. Super bored during nap time and then late dinner made stressful. Fireworks in Emerson park. Smelled cotton candy and scoped if out but didn't really actually want it that badly. Not that important or desired. Brought cherries and ate those. Loving all the fresh fruit options.  

Day 29

4th of July. Went to lake and had picnic lunch. Made list and went to wegmans for mostly whole 30 foods while technically done tomorrow. Got cream for watermelon as a 4th of July treat. Didn't whip but still yummy. Dairy really doesn't bother me and I know I can avoid it pretty easily. 

Day 30!!

Easy and totally habitual. Ran in the morning and wished I'd eaten a little something prior. Still decent time for running. Went to beach with friends and brought picnic. Grilled burgers for dinner. Not missing the bun at all. Finished tonight but still planning to mainly continue as a lifestyle. 

So, what did I take away from this? Well, I'm into the 130's for the first time since the year I got married! The first week of no sugar was beyond rough, but I discovered I can totally "hit the spot" with fruit rather than sweets. Sure, there's still a pretty high sugar content in fruit, but it's naturally occurring and has added fiber. I learned I don't need carbs to fuel my body, even when running a 5k. I shaved a lot of time off my mile and felt great! My energy levels improved dramatically and my coffee consumption more than dropped in half. I slayed my sugar dragon and got rid of so much bloat on my belly. I lost 9 pounds and 8.5 inches, the biggest amount on the upper part of my stomach. I'm hoping to keep up our healthy eating habits as I really don't want to go back to feeling how I was. The biggest take away was how great I felt once I detoxed from all the crap in my body. My energy levels were great, my head felt super clear, and I was motivated to consistently exercise. So there you have my honest take on my experience with Whole 30. I'll try to add before and after pics soon but need to take after pics. 

Hormones

Lately my hormones have been feeling all over the place. I've had 2 periods since the girls were born. I have no idea the length of my first cycle and my second one was 51 days long. I'm currently on day 60 with no period in sight. I feel so irritable and have little patience and I've am having issues with insomnia for the first time in my life. I am still breastfeeding and know that that can affect hormone levels. 

Recently I purchased ovulation tests to try to see what my body was doing. We're not trying to get pregnant, I just wanted to see if I was ovulating, and if so, on what day of my cycle. I never really used them consistently and always heard they aren't reliable with PCOS. I will have to agree. I didn't really take too many but I got 2 clear positives this current cycle. This tells me that my body is having LH surges but likely not ovulating= more ovarian cysts. 

I realized I needed to make an appointment to see some kind of dr, but just wasn't sure what kind. My ob? A regular endocrinologist? A reproductive endocrinologist since it's related to my reproductive health and hormones? I feel like a RE is the most appropriate person, yet most are just focused on fertility treatments and getting women pregnant. That's not my goal right now.

So, I have an appointment scheduled with my ob for next week. I emailed Dr. B last night just to get his input. He suggested taking progesterone every 3 months to get a period. I read more about progesterone to help manage PCOS and that seemed like a popular treatment. 

The thing is, I'm wondering if there are ways to restore regular cycles (ovulation) and minimize the PCOS symptoms without birth control pills. Due to blood clotting issues I was told I shouldn't ever use an estrogen based birth control because it will increase my chances of developing a blood clot. I'm currently taking 1500-2000 mg a day of Metformin, more often the 1500 since I have a hard time tolerating the full dose. I also don't want to go on birth control. We've both talked about it and we'd be fine with a spontaneous pregnancy. In fact, I'd love it if we got pregnant on our own. 

I know I have to do something. Having 50+ day cycles isn't healthy or normal and I feel like my mood and patience aren't in a great place. So, we'll see what my ob says next week and what he suggests. Has anyone else regulated their PCOS without birth control pills? Any suggestions or ideas?

A New Start

Today is CD 1. I started my BCP's and it's only 3 more weeks of them. I hate this part of the IVF cycle, it's so drawn out and boring. That's why the antagonist protocol was much more appealing, but alas, I will be doing the LONG lupron again. 

Yesterday I started my supplements that I took last cycle. When my first IVF resulted in embryos that were all slow to divide and pretty crappy I did a little research on egg quality. I think it made a difference last time around so I will do it again. I am taking wheatgrass pills (5 in the morning and 5 at night) and royal jelly twice a day. 

I also started eating a paleo diet yesterday. After gorging myself on vacation and gaining weight consistently, I decided it was time to take action. I'm not happy with my weight and my self image is struggling. Failed cycles suck emotionally, but they get me the most when it comes to my self confidence. It's hard to have confidence in your body when it's not working how you want it to. 

The premiss of the paleo diet is pretty easy to grasp. Basically you eat like a caveman/woman. No dairy, wheat, or sugar. Easy to follow? A bit harder. Yesterday wasn't bad but I let myself get too hungry today and was out and about and had a hard time finding something to eat. I have to say I'm missing my carbs. We will see how it all pans out, but I'd love to stick with it for the month of April. I know that PCOS is carb and sugar related, so it would be interesting to see if it helps with that at all. I'm not holding my breath that it will change my PCOS, but I need to get proactive and could stand to lose some weight. It's nice because counting calories always makes me feel hungry. I never feel like I eat enough and it's hard work. This is going to be even harder work most likely. I found a great website which has tons of recipes so that is definitely helping. Lunch is going to be my biggest challenge since I eat while I drive. I think if I plan ahead I should be OK. 

Boo hoo to going back to work tomorrow. I'm not ready and am still in vacation mode. I have a feeling it's going to be a long week. 

PCOS and Vitamin D

So I haven't done a ton of research in this area (maybe I need to go back to school), but I have strong beliefs there is a connection between Vitamin D deficiency and PCOS. A few months ago I got a comment on my blog mentioning the connection, and I had never given it any thought before that time. I've never had my Vitamin D levels tested, but I do live in Syracuse where winters are long and grey. Here is a good description of our winters I found online:


Worst Winter cities

1. SYRACUSE, NEW YORK “Cold,” “clammy,” “snowy” are three great ways to describe Syracuse weather—from October through April. Winter starts very early and lasts late, with plenty of snow and extremely cold temperatures. Winter daytime temperatures average in the lower 30s, with nighttime lows in the teens, but temperatures as low as minus 25°F have been recorded. Snow also makes winter uncomfortable in Syracuse, averaging almost 120 inches per season. During the winter of 2009–2010, Syracuse was again the winner of the prestigious “Golden Snowball Award,” celebrating the city with most snowfall for the winter in upstate New York, beating out such snowy cities as Buffalo, Rochester, Albany, and Binghamton. Syracuse also made our Farmers’ Almanac “10 Worst” list in 2002. Another reason why this city makes the worst winter weather list — December, January, and February are typically gloomy, with Syracuse receiving only onethird of the sunshine possible, because of considerable cloud cover.

So without ever having my levels tested, it is safe to assume I am deficient from this description, at least in the winter months. In late November I starting taking large doses of Vitamin D (5000 IU's) and in December ovulated and got pregnant. My RE thinks I ovulated as an effect of the Lupron, but would you really be able to see anything on ultrasound 2 weeks after ovulation? I think I ovulated by myself before I started the Lupron and partially due to my increased Vitamin D intake. 

My RE doesn't think I ovulate regularly, and I'm not sure what I think about this. In reality, we only "tried" one month and then didn't really try in December and got pregnant. All of the other months since I first starting seeing a RE in August I was on BCP's trying to shrink my cyst. Up until that time we had been preventing pregnancy although I had stopped taking the pill.

 My RE ran a progesterone test on day 21 one cycle, but I was on the pill so I wasn't likely to ovulate. My ovaries appear polycystic on ultrasound and under laparoscopy, which means I have had difficulty ovulating in the past and perhaps present. I have been trying to get ahold of my RE this week to get the progesterone test done again this month, but no luck so far. I can't wait until the regular nurse is back in the office, because I am getting frustrated. 

If you have PCOS and have difficulty ovulating, you may want to look into Vitamin D. I feel like it has helped me and I continue to take it with high hopes (perhaps too high sometimes). 

Here are some articles from PubMed I found: 

Association of hypovitaminosis D with metabolic disturbances in polycystic ovary syndrome.

Serum parathyroid hormone concentrations are increased in women with polycystic ovary syndrome.

Both are just summaries, but you can get the full text by clicking in the upper right corner.

and some less academic links:

Do PCOS Women Have Low Vitamin D Levels?

PCOS and Infertility (Infertility Support Group)

Anyone else take Vitamin D for PCOS or heard anything about the connection?

New Endocrinologist

When I left the office of the local endocrinologist, I knew I would not be going back. I needed to find someone who was more compassionate and caring and treated me as an individual. This first guy was a jerk and I wasn't going to support his business.

I looked on the internet and called around looking for an appointment with a specialist (a Reproductive Endocrinologist.) I got extremely lucky and when I reached an office in the larger city we are close to, they had just gotten a new doctor to their well-established practice. He was someone with lots of experience who just happened to move to the area recently from Atlanta. In fact, he could see me on Monday (I was calling on a Friday.) I was scheduled to go the next Monday (after my horrible appointment on Wed with the other guy). I asked my husband to come along this time to help have someone else to digest the information and to have some more support. He agreed.

We met with this doctor on Monday afternoon. He was obviously new to the practice because he was unsure of how the procedures went, but he was EXTREMELY HELPFUL. He sat and talked with us for about 3 hours, explaining PCOS, the criteria for diagnosing it, the chances of future pregnancies, normal course of treatment, etc. He then sent me for an ultrasound to check my ovaries for cysts and said that I should make an appointment in another month to discuss the results of the ultrasound.

He used the Rotterdam Criteria to diagnose PCOS in which the patient needs to have 2/3 characteristics to be diagnosed. I already had the hormone levels that were off and I needed to have polycystic appearing ovaries to be completely diagnosed. He said he would discuss those results at my next appointment.

The first Endocrinologist (early Aug)

So the office made an appointment for me to see a local (regular) endocrinologist. We live close to a small city, but I made an appointment at the office in the small city we live in. I figured it didn't really matter since I didn't have PCOS anyway.

I sat and waited in this office for about an hour and a half before getting called in. I had appointments scheduled at work all day, and waiting just meant not working for me. Not working meant not getting paid. Once he called me in, he was very matter-of-fact. He told me I had PCOS due to the blood work from my gynecologists office. He ran his hands along my neck and said "I knew those would be there" referring to the small number of skin tags I had on my neck. He told me I was insulin resistant because my father is diabetic and he said I was not ovulating. He said his office did not do ultrasound to check the ovaries for cysts and that it wasn't important anyway. He said that if I were to get pregnant (since I asked him if it would be OK if we tried), he said that I could have a baby that was a hermaphrodite due to the excess of male hormones. He then asked if he could do a physical examination. When he saw my thighs he said that they were very large and muscular, probably due to the testosterone. He was not nice in the way he delivered any of this news. He was almost mean and insulting and I felt like crying the whole time.

He said he wanted to run more blood work and that he would put me on Metformin to help with the PCOS. He then left the room. He didn't tell me whether we were done or not and I sat there in shock for about 5 minutes before I figured he must have be done. I went out to check about blood work and the office informed me that they don't do it there. I would have to go somewhere else. In addition, the next appointment they had available was in mid-September. This meant I had PCOS and there was nothing I could do about it for another 6 weeks. I just wanted to treat the problem and get pregnant.

I left his office and cried in my car. As I made it to my next appointment at work, the woman I work with told me she was pregnant with her second child. She is unmarried and they tried for one month this time around. Great timing...

When it all started

When I would think about getting pregnant, I though it would be easy. I thought we would be one of those lucky couples who would get pregnant the first month they tried. In all fairness, we've only tried one month so far, but have been on a roller coaster ride that started in June.

My husband and I got married on October of 2009. We knew we wanted children and disagreed some on when we should start trying. He was still finishing his education and didn't want the added stress of trying to start a family at the same time as finishing graduate school. 

Finally in June (after being married 8 months) I broke him down and he said we could start preparing to get pregnant (cutting down of coffee, exercising more, eating healthier, getting a pre-conception check-up, etc.)

I had actually ditched my birth control pill about a year prior  in hopes I would drop a few pounds before our wedding. I had been on the pill for the past 7 years consistently. During the year I was off the pill and we weren't trying, we used condoms and the occasional "pull-out" method. There were a few months where I started to get nervous after no period for 34-35 days. I had one cycle where I didn't get my period for 38 (it might have even been 40) days. But each month I got my period, although sometimes just a little late. During the year I was off the pill, I got my period each month (albeit a long month.)

When we talked about getting pregnant I started to research good books that I could read. I found "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" and started reading. This is where I read it is a good idea to get a pre-conception check-up with your gynecologist. I booked an appointment, excited we could start taking steps towards getting pregnant. In this book I read that sometimes a woman may have longer cycles due to a hormone imbalance. I decided to ask about this at my appointment. The nurse practitioner decided to draw some blood and check my hormone levels. I left the office hopeful that I could convince my hubby to start trying in July. 

Less than a week later I got a call about my blood work. I was not able to take the call at the time and the NP left a message on a Friday afternoon. By the time I got it, it was too late to call the office back since they were closed. She said she would be back in her office on Tuesday. On the message she said that things were "just a little bit off" with my testosterone levels. She said to call her back and we could talk about it. I'm pretty sure I still have this message saved on my voicemail of my cell phone.

I spent all weekend worrying and looking up high testosterone in women on Google. The most common search result: Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). Reading about it I didn't think I really matched most of the criteria. Although I had always been a little hairier than other friends and I had difficulty losing weight around my mid-section, I was by no means obese, growing a beard, diabetic, etc.

=

When I finally talked with my doctor on Tuesday she explained the numbers and said that PCOS was a definite possibility. My testosterone was off, as well as my DHEAS. She wanted to refer me to a endocrinologist.