My Whole 30

The past 30 days I embarked on a personal health journey called the Whole 30. I had completed the 21 Day Fix in February and lost 9 pounds and about 8 inches. It was difficult, but it definitely reset some of my eating habits. After that, I was eating pretty well and exercising consistently, yet wasn't seeing as great of results as I hoped. I had hit a serious plateau with my weight loss and nothing was helping getting through it, not even running.  I was also insanely addicted to sugar. The Whole 30 isn't something I had heard about until recently. W and I have tried a lot of different modifications to our diets, but hadn't ever tried this one. The Whole 30 is basically a 30 day paleo diet (no sugar, no alcohol, no dairy, no grains, no legumes, no "treats" even if healthy, and no MSG, carrageenan, or sulfates). As someone who has the metabolic disorder PCOS, I wanted to try this way of eating to see how it made me feel. I was craving sugar and carbohydrates constantly, drinking an obscene amount of coffee, and feeling sluggish, irritable and tired.

During my 30 days I definitely wasn't perfect as that's incredibly difficult with three young kids. To the best of my knowledge, I stayed away from grains, corn, and beans completely during this time. I had dairy a few times including a sundae once (whoops! No, it was a total once-a-summer opportunity to have one of my favorite and local fresh strawberry sundaes, so I decided to go for it). Other than that, I avoided sugar to the best of my knowledge. I ate coconut chips one night without knowing they had sugar and then finished them one other night even though I knew they had sugar. So, like I said I wasn't perfect, but it was still a huge challenge for me and I saw big changes. 

I wrote a little bit every day about how I felt and here are those thoughts. Don't judge because they were my honest feelings and struggles.

Day 1

Easy. Felt great and prepared. Didn't snack at all after dinner. Did plyo workout and it was hard but completed it. 

Day 2

Felt exhausted in the evening. Fell asleep early. Craved sugar after dinner and never felt satisfied. Definitely drinking less coffee. 

Day 3

Craving sugar. Still want sugar. Ran and it was tough but also had 5 days off. Finally ate some prunes at night and felt satisfied rather than sweets. 

Day 4

Super jittery feeling in the am despite 3 eggs and spinach for breakfast. Headache starts in early afternoon but also stressed. Ready to give in to stress with food. 

Day 5

Stella's tubes. So anxious and super nauseous in am. Less tempted by cravings throughout the day. Lunch out at jimmy johns no problem to stick to it and not tempted to stray. Fewer cravings for sugar. Slight headache in afternoon/evening.  

Day 6

Tired. Didn't do much. Ate meals at home. Still craving sweets after dinner. Ate a bunch of applesauce before bed. Stepped on the scale during the day. Down 3 pounds

Day 7

Sunday. Greek festival. Had great breakfast at home. Greek salad, gyro meat for lunch. Ate one piece of feta. SO tempted by baklava sundae!! Extra irritable it seems. Hoping to be better about exercise next week. Irritable. Kill all the things!

Day 8

Exercised in morning but felt like my muscles had zero energy reserve. Mall with Krista. Hard to resist when eating out and she gets coffee and chocolate. My meal may have had soy or sugar in the dressing. Not satisfied feeling by dinner. Frustrating day being tempted so much and not feeling satisfied. 

Day 9

Struggling. Gymnastics performance for the girls and everyone got donuts after. Felt hungry and deprived.  Def less bloated but feeling not worth it today. Made a salad and even a dressing and then the lettuce tasted bitter and bad. Disappointing. Second half of the day not as bad. Yummy dinner (walnut crusted pork and sweet potato mash)

Day 10

SO irritable and annoyed in the morning. Too much whining. Feeling like I'm going to lose it. So emotional all day. Crashed hard at night and then hr+ of insomnia. 

Day 11

Woke up hungry, jittery so had a chia pouch before Pilates 21 days fix video. Not much appetite. Better mood wise. Walt kill all things, especially me. 

Day 12 

Woke up jittery again so had a chia pouch and then went running. Felt pretty good running. Heart rate high. Felt great during the day. No cravings. Splash pad with girls. Good energy levels. Dinner with friends. Cauliflower pizza with a little cheese. Munched out big time on fruit. 

Day 13

Not too bad. Went strawberry picking and was glad was able to eat as many as I wanted. Tempted to make treats so did a strawberry and coconut milk frozen mixture. Prob not ideal, but yummy. Bought an approved snack at all stops running errands. Fell asleep early. Felt really bloated all day.  Energy levels pretty great. 

Day 14

After today halfway through! Father's Day picnic lunch. Not having hard time with breakfast but wanting treats with celebrations or on weekends. W struggling too. Got iced coffees and girls got a treat. Wishing I could have ice cream. Realizing I use any holiday as an excuse to have sweets. 

Day 15

Kate (my sister) came to visit and lunch with friend char. Not too bad. Lunch not delicious but fine. Wanted a sundae SO bad as Kate got one, so came home and ate a bunch of applesauce. Ran in the morning and felt really good. Energy levels good. Scale frustrating but also high for W so idk. 

Day 16 

Feeling low after visit with Kate. Wanted to give up so badly. Forced myself to look forward to fruit and went to wegmans. Felt much better with some (new) favorite items, especially a paleo granola I found. 

Day 17

Fine during day. Ran in morning and felt pretty good. Dave Matthews show at night. Chili cheese nachos looked pretty delicious. Can tell W is done and doesn't want to do it anymore. Not really losing much weight but trying not to lose faith. 

Day 18

Writing that makes me realize it hasn't been as long as I think. Feels really long! 

Day 19

Starting to feel like autopilot. Ran to wegmans for a few things and still wanted lunch at home. Bought something sweetened by accident and ate a little before realized. 

Day 20!

Not tough. Had picnic lunch at hike and picnic while we watched hot air balloons. 

Day 21

Sunday. Went to the lake and brought own food. Wasn't quite enough food so hungry. Wanting a strawberry sundae from dougs. Felt crampy like ovulating or something. 

Day 22

Feeling fine but sick of same foods kinda. Feeling like I'm looking forward to being done. Really wanted strawberry sundae. Called and they'll stop serving them before I'm finished with my Whole 30. Might have to get one. Ate some sweetened coconut chips instead. 

Day 23

Did leg stuff with heavier weights. Lots of sweat but feeling pretty good. Went to wegmans and found a lunch (salad bar). Was ok. Made second lunch with shaved steak and peppers and was SO good. Had again for dinner. Fruit with dinner really yummy. Made me crave sugar after less. 

Day 24

Ran 5k this morning in 32 mins and was so proud of myself. Didn't feel great doing it, but was motivated by times being announced from the app while running. 

Day 25

Did arm stuff in the morning then Green lakes beach. Not even really craving sugar but got the strawberry sundae. Super melty soupy mess. Not as good as hoped. Big fight with W. Obvious food doesn't make me happy, need to find that within. 

Day 26

Was surprised ice cream didn't bother me more. Feeling down and missing Kate. Didn't exercise today. Not really craving crap anymore. Energy really good, head feeling clear. 

Day 27

Ran 4 miles in am. Exhausting, but making nice progress with my times. Headed to Ithaca. Lunch disappointing as I thought the bakery would have more options. Got wings but they were cold and super gross not heated up. Frustrated and a little hangry. Went out for ice cream after dinner and then W came home and tried to eat everything in the house. Obviously sugar put him in overdrive. 

Day 28

Went to the lake. Super bored during nap time and then late dinner made stressful. Fireworks in Emerson park. Smelled cotton candy and scoped if out but didn't really actually want it that badly. Not that important or desired. Brought cherries and ate those. Loving all the fresh fruit options.  

Day 29

4th of July. Went to lake and had picnic lunch. Made list and went to wegmans for mostly whole 30 foods while technically done tomorrow. Got cream for watermelon as a 4th of July treat. Didn't whip but still yummy. Dairy really doesn't bother me and I know I can avoid it pretty easily. 

Day 30!!

Easy and totally habitual. Ran in the morning and wished I'd eaten a little something prior. Still decent time for running. Went to beach with friends and brought picnic. Grilled burgers for dinner. Not missing the bun at all. Finished tonight but still planning to mainly continue as a lifestyle. 

So, what did I take away from this? Well, I'm into the 130's for the first time since the year I got married! The first week of no sugar was beyond rough, but I discovered I can totally "hit the spot" with fruit rather than sweets. Sure, there's still a pretty high sugar content in fruit, but it's naturally occurring and has added fiber. I learned I don't need carbs to fuel my body, even when running a 5k. I shaved a lot of time off my mile and felt great! My energy levels improved dramatically and my coffee consumption more than dropped in half. I slayed my sugar dragon and got rid of so much bloat on my belly. I lost 9 pounds and 8.5 inches, the biggest amount on the upper part of my stomach. I'm hoping to keep up our healthy eating habits as I really don't want to go back to feeling how I was. The biggest take away was how great I felt once I detoxed from all the crap in my body. My energy levels were great, my head felt super clear, and I was motivated to consistently exercise. So there you have my honest take on my experience with Whole 30. I'll try to add before and after pics soon but need to take after pics. 

Kokopelli and healthy choices

So when I was 20 and in college I decided I wanted to get a tattoo. My family had taken a trip to the southwest the summer before my senior year in college and I loved it. When we were in Moab Utah my Mom purchased a steel Kokopelli wall hanging. I always loved this figure and eventually decided I would get a tattoo of it. I did some research and was a little alarmed to find out exactly the legend of Kokopelli.

Here is what I found when I googled recently (www.indigenouspeople.net/kokopelli):

Known as a fertility god, prankster, healer and story teller, Kokopelli has been a source of wonder throughout the country for centuries. Kokopelli embodies the true American Southwest, and dates back over 3,000 years ago, when the first petroglyphs were carved. Although his true origins are unknown, this traveling, flute-playing Casanova is a sacred figure to many Southwestern Native Americans. Carvings of this hunch-backed flute-playing figure have been found painted and carved into rock walls and boulders throughout the Southwest.

There are many myths of the famous Kokopelli. One of which is that he traveled from village to village bringing the changing of winter to spring; melting the snow and bringing about rain for a successful harvest. It is also said that the hunch on his back depicted the sacks of seeds and songs he carried. Legend also has it that the flute playing also symbolized the transition of winter to spring. Kokopelli’s flute is said to be heard in the spring’s breeze, while bringing warmth. It is also said that he was the source of human conception. Legend has it, everyone in the village would sing and dance throughout the night when they heard Kokopelli play his flute. The next morning, every maiden in the village would be with child.
Whatever the true meaning of Kokopelli is, he has been a source of music making and dancing, and spreading joy to those around him. Even today, Kokopelli, with his hunchback and flute, is always welcome in our homes.

The legend of Kokopelli (pronounced "Coke-a-pellie") is well-preserved in ancient rock carvings and paintings dating back as far as 3,000 years. His legend however, is no less popular today - having survived more than one hundred generations. Below, is a compilation of stories collected through many hours of research. Certainly, you can find more stories (and images in Art) on the World wide web.

I knew Kokopelli was a fertility symbol, but at the time I stuck more with the changing seasons theme. I live in Upstate NY and am always so glad when winter's wrath gives way to the new life of spring. Nowadays I think more about this symbol I chose to tattoo on my body. My Mom eventually gave me the wall hanging and I had up on various walls  in my various bedrooms all through college. My husband and I ended up living out West for about 2 years (In Wyoming) but we took a trip to Moab. We went to the same gallery where the artwork was purchased and looked at Kokopelli. He gave me some crazy looks when I told him what it symbolized. I said, I know it's a fertility symbol, but I really like it (and I guess I secretly hoped it will came in handy some day). Well, reading today that Kokopelli was known as a "prankster" makes me intrigued. When we moved into our new house in October and with life's current journey I put him back up on my wall. He now hangs to one side of our bed in our bedroom. 

It is amazing how all-consuming infertility can be. I took this Monday and Tuesday off from work (the perks on making your own schedule) but have found myself reading endless blogs and forums about IVF and infertility. I feel like my husband wants me to stop talking about it so much, but I can't help it. The bad part about my job and making my own schedule is that I don't have the social perks of an office. I work as a traveling speech therapist with young children and only come in contact with their families. This leaves a lot of time to myself while driving from house to house. I recently have been listening to a book on CD, but it is hard to keep my mind away from infertility. I have one family I work with who knows the journey we are currently going though and it is only because she has been there herself. When her FOUR boys under 7 are all competing for her attention, she looks at me and says "Be careful what you wish for."She conceived her first 3 boys through IVF and two pregnancies (first one was a singleton second time twins) but it took a few tries before it was successful. Her fourth boy was conceived naturally and she still doesn't know how. They never knew her reason for infertility, but obviously she was able to get pregnant naturally. Apart from her, I don't have anyone else to talk about it all with except my hubby. I feel like I can't go even a day without bringing up something about it to him. I feel like he is sick of hearing it all, but I can't help it. In my mind, I don't go a few hours without thinking about it. 

Yesterday we went cross country skiing in a forrest nearby. It was incredibly peaceful and we just trudged along with our thoughts to ourselves. The dogs had a fantastic time and were running back and forth, covered in snow. We are hoping to go again today since he will be home early from work. For some time I didn't think about infertility and the journey we have been on, but undoubtably my thoughts returned there. I told my hubby last night that maybe as a New year's resolution I will stop looking up so much stuff on the internet. I have to say though it is nice to find others are in a similar position. I have found a forum where I am able to connect with other women going through or starting the IVF process. I see so much optimism there and am able to stay hopeful for our odds. 

We watched an interesting documentary last night on Netflix entitled Food Matters.

 It was all about eating healthy and adding supplements to our diets rather than treating with medicine. I think this backs my feelings initially about Metformin. I was glad when my RE didn't want to put me on it because I know it is basically a "lifetime" drug. I know I have PCOS for a reason other than the fact that my father is diabetic and insulin resistance runs in the family. It must be related to my diet and maybe even a deficiency I have. They touched on the fact that about 50% of our meals should be raw food because when he cook our food the nutrients are lost. I think we will be eating more salads and raw foods. I would love to get to the root of my PCOS problem, but aren't sure exactly how to go about this. My hubby was also intrigued and agreed that the food we put into our bodies is the most important (over nice clothes, vacations, updates to the house) so this is what we will focus our money and energy on.

Over time we have switched to only whole grains and have basically cut sugar out of our diets. The holidays are difficult, especially with all the candy and cookies I received as gifts. In addition, we use only natural cleaning products, soaps, shampoos and conditioners. When we buys meat and dairy we buy organic. We try with our produce, but that tends to be more difficult. Today I went out and bought some Green Tea with Echinacea in hopes it will help my cough to feel better. In addition, I bought some Odwalla Superfood bars. I used to drink this smoothie and plan to replace the bar with my morning whey protein smoothie. I plan to do more research and hope this can distract me some from getting pregnant/IVF. Not only is a distraction, but it may also help my body be in the best shape possible for the treatments.

See, I actually was able to think about my diet and lifestyle for a few minutes without talking about infertility. But like always, I am back on that thought!