Waiting, waiting, waiting

So I was wrong about the Lupron. For some reason I was under the impression that I start it with my next period (I get my period and start Lupron at the same time). Unfortunately, it isn't until 21 days after the first day of my period. That means I am still a month away from actually starting injections. I know it seems crazy that I want to do the injections, but I just want to start the IVF process. Sitting down and looking at a calendar makes it seem all so far away. I know with the Holidays and everything time will fly, but on weekends it is hard not to think about the IVF process constantly.

I finished The Couples' Guide to IVF this weekend. It was informative and gave some goods tips and advice. It was nice that the author had been through the process and could relate to how she felt at each step.

Getting my husband to be involved and pro-active about finding out any information has been frustrating. Last Tuesday we got into a fight because I felt like everything else was more important. These days when we fight we don't really yell, but voice our frustrations. I think the conversation ended up being very productive and he promised to take some initiative. Maybe it's just that I am a woman, but I need to know as much as possible beforehand. It also stinks that we aren't telling anyone, so any research or reading needs to be done in private.

It's amazing how my family seems to have completely forgotten about the whole blocked tubes thing. I was talking to my mom on the phone the other night about my sister-in-law and how she is a little difficult to deal with. My mom said that if I were to have a little girl, she would be so jealous. I know this and would love to have the little girl, but it's completely out of my hands at this point. My sister-in-law has a three-year-old little boy. When she got her ultrasound and found out it was a boy, she cried. My mom then went on to say "you know you can do things to help to get a girl. You should really work on that." Thanks mom, you completely forgot that I can't work on the whole pregnancy thing at all right now. When I first told her the result of the dye test she said, "That's funny because I never had a hard time getting pregnant." I don't think my mom means to hurt me, but these comments do hurt.

My sister also seems to have forgotten. The other week I was feeling really nauseous (a stomach bug was going around and I appeared to have gotten a more mild version.) When I told her I was nauseous she said, "I think you're pregnant!" I was like, I really don't think so. I guess she forgot too.

My husband and I have decided at this point not to tell anyone about the IVF. We haven't really seen his parents, but have debated telling them. It is hard because it is such an emotional and financial decision to make that if it fails I don't want everyone to know. I think it would be better to tell people once we are pregnant.