Monday, May 13, 2013

Updates on T

Last Thursday night I went and visited my friend T. I've been meaning to update, but I've just been so busy. 

She's still at the hospital where we will deliver. She's on the 8th floor, labor and delivery. When I got to the correct floor of the hospital with Indian food for dinner in tow I asked as the nurses station for her. They told me to go down the hallway, through the double doors, and to room number was 4. 

As I approached the double doors my heart sank and I suddenly felt anxious. In huge letters above the door it read "High Risk Obstetrics". I tried not to picture myself behind these doors but couldn't push that image away. 

T looked pretty good. She was pale (from losing blood and being anemic) but in great spirits. Her in-laws were there when we arrived as was our other fertility buddy, Toni. Toni has a three and a half-month old little guy who was conceived with IVF. 

Her in-laws stayed for a bit and we all chatted. I guess they didn't know about T doing IVF and when they were asking me about whether I was pregnant with fraternal or identical twins I said we had transferred two embryos, so it was pretty likely they were fraternal. Her MiL made an interesting face and shut right up. After she left I asked T if she knew they had done IVF and she said no. She joked they were probably starting to connect the dots though. Whoops! Toni had also made some comments on how it was difficult for her to get pregnant, etc. 

After a short while her in-laws left and it was the three of us. We hung out and chatted. Toni had to leave at 9:15 to pick up her brother at the train station as he was coming into town. 

From there it was just me and T in her super fancy hospital room. I stayed until 10:15. The nurses were great and came in to do some vitals at some point. They hooked her up to a fetal doppler and I got to hear her baby's strong little heart beating away. 

T said she hadn't had any more bleeding but described what she had woken up to early Thursday morning. She said she got up to pee and felt a gush. When she looked down there was blood all down both of her legs and on her feet. She said it looked like a murder scene. It sounded so scary!

She said she had had contractions Thursday morning and they gave her something to stop them. They weren't sure if the bleeding was causing the contractions or if the contractions were causing the bleeding. She said they were going to keep her in the hospital for about a week and observe and monitor her. Another week in the hospital gets her to 24 weeks. If the bleeding continues or her condition worsens, they talked about having to deliver the baby. 

Last night she texted me to tell me she was receiving a betamethasone steroid shot to help mature the baby's lungs. When I researched it a little it freaked me out. It said it was most effective if given within a week of delivery. Upon a little more reading I did find that it was often just used as a precautionary step. They will give another shot 24 hours after the first. They told her this is something they cannot repeat during her pregnancy. 

This afternoon I texted her to see how she was doing. She said she had some bad cramping this morning and they put her on IV fluids and medications to stop her contractions before any bleeding started. 

I'm so worried about T and her little baby. They are talking about releasing her but want her to stay close. They mentioned the Ronald McDonald house locally and also asked about her having friends or family. I would offer my house but it's not that close. I just hope they keep her in the hospital where she is safest and most closely monitored. 

It's so incredibly scary. It's not at all about me, but it has me feeling so scared and anxious for my pregnancy and babies. I'll be 18 weeks tomorrow and it just feels so far away from that viability point at 24 weeks. I've shed more than a few tears when talking about how scared it makes me to W. I want to be there for her and be a good friend because I know she would do the same for me. At the same time the whole thing touches so close to home and scares the crap out of me. 

I've been using my doppler more. This may be the longest stretch I have gone without an appointment and I'm anxious. I'm so grateful our anatomy scan is this Thursday and that we'll get to see our little babies. The thought of either of us losing our babies or having complications is terrifying. I feel so guilty making this about me at all, but I can't help but put myself in her shoes. So scary!!

I'll update if anything changes, but please keep T and her little ones in your thoughts and prayers. 


  1. I'm so glad to hear she is doing okay, and that she has strong women by her side to keep her spirits up. It must be nice to have friends who can really understand everything you've been through on this fertility journey. I am sending her (and you) lots of good vibes!

  2. Thinking of and praying for your friend and her sweet baby!

  3. Thank you for the update. Continuing to pray!!

  4. Being someone who has previa I can sympathize with your friend. One of my close friend had previa as well. She had her first bleed at 25 weeks, spent 3 weeks on bed rest. Went off bed rest and had another bleed that day. She was put on bed rest for a week in the hospital and then released and put on bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy at home. She went full term and had the baby at 39 weeks. I'm hoping your friend has the same outcome. It sounds like she is in good care.

  5. How scary :( I really hope your friend can keep her baby in for several more weeks. And I don't blame you at all for putting yourself, mentally, in her position. After all you have been through, it would be impossible not to fear such a scenario. Don't beat yourself up-you aren't making it about yourself when you are with her--and that's what is important. Keep us posted!

  6. It would be impossible not to be scared, especially after everything you've been through to get to this point. I'm so glad your friend is getting the care she needs and am praying for her and the baby. Hugs.