I'm losing it

No changes. I'm still waiting on AF to show. Okay, maybe there are some changes. My mental status has gone from slightly insane to entirely off the deep end. I'm more anxious and stressed than when I last posted. This probably isn't helping to make AF show. I'm stressed that I'm stressing too much. Ahhh...  get the idea yet?

I've been having cramping on and off and it feels like AF is going to start. My boobs still are unchanged and don't feel sore, but my skin is still breaking out. I've been short on patience and snapped a few times at the hubby. I'm confused, frustrated, anxious, and pissed. 

I went back and my blog entries about my previous experiences with Provera/Prometrium. The first time I took Provera and got AF while still on it. The second time I took Prometrium and got AF the day after stopping. This time we are 5 days later and it's not looking good. 

The worst part?? I got anxious on Friday and called my clinic. I was told Dr. S was in emergency surgery and was put through to a nurse so I left a message. I planned to ask at what point I should get concerned about not getting AF after taking the Prometrium and ask questions about my concerns. In the time I waited for a return call I used the bathroom and saw some spotting. The first and only spotting I have had.

 I was so overly excited to see any blood I assumed it was the start of my period. Usually my period starts that way and within a few hours it is full flow. The nurse called me back and I changed my plan and told her instead that it was CD 1. 

I then asked her which protcol Dr. S decided to use for my upcoming FET. She told me she couldn't reveal that information. She also couldn't tell me whether to start the estrogen or not and could only leave a message for Dr. S to call me Monday afternoon.  

I have another number for Dr.S so used it and planned to leave a message. To my surprise he answered the phone and I talked quickly to him. He wasn't able to tell me which protocol he decided since he didn't have my chart in front of him. So basically the conversation didn't go anywhere except that he was leaning towards using a Lupron protcol. He said he would call me on Monday afternoon and let me know.

The spotting didn't turn into bleeding and I haven't seen anything since. I'm going crazy. My anxiety is sky high and it's not helping anything. Today is CD 38, 5 days after my last Prometrium pill, and 1 day after I lied to my RE and said I was on CD 1. Oh man, everything feels so out of control right now!

I'm thinking seriously about an acupuncture or massage session tomorrow so I don't end up in the loony bin by next week.

Oh yeah, negative HPT today so definitely not pregnant.