Monday, September 19, 2016

Microblog Mondays: My Wedding Ring

Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.

When W and I talked about getting engaged, he mentioned his grandmother had something for him to use. He didn't really specify, but just let my mind wander. I noticed she wore a ring that was pretty amazing. When I asked about it I found out it wasn't her wedding ring. It also wasn't what she had for W. She had a brooch from her grandmother with a bunch of stones. He would be able to pick one of those stones to use for a ring. 

When we visited her in NJ on one trip he asked he about it and she said he needed a "yes"before she would give him a stone. Something like six months later he proposed and I, of course, said yes. We took another trip and he picked the biggest of the stones since he was the first grandson to get engaged. The stone was a .94 carat cushion cut mined diamond. We took it to a few jewelry stores and I found a setting I loved the stone in. At the same time, we also bought the wedding band as it was a set. 

I loved my ring. At one point the center stone fell out but I found it and had it reset. It wasn't ideal to have a cushion cut on a four prong setting, but I just loved the way it looked together so much. For our five year wedding anniversary W got me another band to match our wedding band, but with diamonds and sapphires alternating. Sapphires are Lucy and Clara's birthstones. Around Christmastime I had the rings all soldered together in an effort to get them to stay together and look nicer. I wasn't thrilled with the way the sapphire band lined up and I took it to the jewelry store to talk to them. They didn't have any great suggestions, but I knew I didn't want to separate the rings again. 

Sharing my rings with W's grandma Wink on our wedding day




Between the months of February to August I lost quite a bit of weight and the ring became big on my finger. I could shake my hand and it would come off. Even though I said I was going to lose it a few times, I never took it to be sized. 
The three bands together. I think this is the only photo I have of all three. The sapphire band was the five year anniversary band with sapphires for Lucy and Clara. 
The second week of August we went on vacation to the outer banks, North Carolina. On the Tuesday of our week-long trip I was rinsing off in the ocean with my friend Krista when I felt my ring slip off of my finger. I was in waist-high water and the waves were big. I just knew there was no finding it. 

When I felt it slide off and realized what happened, my heart sank and I thought to myself, that's the worst thing that could ever happen. Then I looked up and saw my three girls and husband, all safe and happy on the beach, oblivious to what had happened. I knew then it was just stuff and I had the most important things, still safe and fine. 

My friend ran and told W what happened so he ran down to me in the water. Mostly in vain, he attempted to look with me for it. Some other people on the beach came by and also helped for a bit, but I knew it was gone. I told the girls what had happened so they weren't confused or upset by the way we were all acting. I mostly held it together even though I was super sad and disappointed. 

That evening I went back at low tide to look for my ring, but didn't see any sign of it. I called that afternoon and found out we did have insurance coverage under our homeowners policy.

I know it's just "stuff", but I'm still really sad about losing my rings. Since they were all soldered together, I unfortunately lost them all. I'm also sad I lost W's family stone and that it can't be replaced. 

The insurance ended up covering the full cost of the rings minus a $1000 deductible. My initial thought was I would just get the same ring, but then I realized it would never be the same. The reason I loved and picked that ring was because of the stone we had. Without that stone it just wouldn't be the same. 

Once I decided I wouldn't get the same thing I felt overwhelmed by the choices. I found a few things I liked, but nothing I loved. Well, last week I finally found something I loved. I ordered it and am waiting for it to come it. I once again ordered a matching band and hope I love it as much as I loved my old one. 

I didn't try to replace all three rings and told W he should start saving for a ten year band ;)

The thing I love about my new ring is it reminds me of that ring that W's grandmother wore and I always admired. The ring that for a short moment I fantasized was going to be the ring W would propose to me with. 

I haven't seen that actual ring in years and heard it was taken apart after she passed away, but I'm glad a part of her will still live on in my ring since she's the one who gave us the center stone and bulk of the cost of the initial set. 
The new ring I picked. 

The new ring. Not my size so not centered. I picked the top band to go with it. 
There have been so many emotions with this experience. Extreme sadness and disappointment I lost my rings. Blaming myself for not getting them sized when I knew they were too big. Excitement at the thought of picking a new one. Overwhelmed by all of the choices.

 I'm still feeling conflicted because while I found something I love it doesn't symbolize the same things. I feel slightly better that he didn't propose with the engagement ring so there's that. But, the wedding band is what we said our vows with. It symbolized a lot and I don't feel like just buying a new one does it.
Putting the ring on my finger and saying his vows

After our vows the priest wrapped our hands and said a prayer and blessed our marriage. 


 Anyone have any good suggestions to make it as meaningful??

4 comments:

  1. Oh Liz, I'm so sorry you lost your rings. I would be very upset too, especially since there was such sentimental value beyond the wedding even. Your new ring looks absolutely gorgeous though! And I love that it reminds you of W's Grandma.

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  2. Im sorry for what has happened. I would have felt the same. It is the meaning sime stuff carry. The new ring is gorgeous. Maybe W should propose again;)
    If it happens again that you have a ring that is a bit big, you can get a ring clips that you just attach from inside and they are removable. I got mine from Claire's.

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  3. That breaks my heart that you don't have the original rings, but I think it's about all the living you do with those rings. And all of that living applies to the new ring as well. I also have a ring that is too big. I need to get the ring clip that persistent mentions because I don't want it resized.

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  4. What a gorgeous ring! Like you, I wanted to customise my wedding ring, using a stone from my nan's engagement ring. We found a lovely jeweller based in Reading, who helped with the design and I couldn't be happier. I now have the prefect ring. Wishing you all the best for your special day!

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