1 year old

Playing footsie in the stroller

Finally able to play together again after Lucy got her cast off. 

Good morning cuties.  

One last swim in the lake for the year. 

A little over a year ago my life changed in ways I was unable to comprehend at the time. After years of infertility and heartbreak I gave birth to perfect twin girls. When I was pregnant I tried to picture my life and how it would look as a mom to two girls, but I honestly had no idea.

"I wanted you more than you ever will know, so I sent love to follow wherever you go." This is the first sentence in one of our favorite books to read to the girls. The power of those words aren't lost on me. It's so true.

I cried so many tears, we drove thousands of miles, I injected my body with countless medications and went through several surgeries, and we spent our savings and an inheritance check from W's grandmother just for a chance to be parents. Unlike everyone, we got lucky and were given the 2 most perfect little girls.  I'll never regret anything I went through for it.

As much as getting them here was difficult, I had no idea how difficult the first year of raising twins would be. Everyone says the first 6 months are the toughest and that it all becomes a blur. It's true. While we were living it it didn't feel too blurry, but looking back it sure does! But, we made it. We kept 2 babies alive for the year and they are thriving. We are falling into our roles as parents and embracing all that it means.

One of my biggest goals was to make it to a year breastfeeding. I wanted to give up so many times. Lucy was so difficult for months to feed and her lack of weight gain was a reflection of that. Despite how difficult it was, I had heard to never quit on a bad day. The bad days were the only days I ever wanted to quit. So, I persisted and never gave up (thanks also to a good friend who was in the breastfeeding twins trenches at the same time). I'm so proud of myself and my girls. I regained so much confidence and love for my body from the experience. Unlike getting and staying pregnant,  I realized my body could succeed at something from the get-go.

Lucy- Your blue eyes sparkle and light up your little chubby cheeked face. You're still so little for a one year old, but I think petite will be a word to describe you for a long time. You are such a mama's girl and I love that. You are one of the toughest little babies I've ever met and that was apparent from the start.
You are trying to imitate and talk but won't do it around anyone else. You've said, "hi, bye-bye, yup, no, Pepper, Pop-Pop, and stop" as well as imitated animal sounds for the kitty, dog, sheep, and lion. You have perfected different expressions and I love your little looks of wonder, excitement, uncertainty, or confusion. The last month of your life you spent stuck in a huge cast. You rarely complained and you became so chill and relaxed. You really were such a trooper. When the cast came off you complained out of fear, but then were so happy and relieved to be able to move around again.
You love your sister and think it's hilarious to pull her hair while she's trying to eat. You watch her so closely and imitate a lot of what she does. Your bond is already so close and I can tell how much you love each other. Having a sister is one of the best things!
 You had a rough month with eating but I don't blame you. I'm sure your appetite wasn't the same in the spica cast. Despite your lack of eating solid foods, it didn't slow down your nursing at all. Although uncomfortable for both of us, we still managed in the cast. You love to eat greek yogurt though and often have to also use it as a moisturizer while eating it (aka rub it all over your hands and face). You also love watermelon and raisins. You missed a month of baths with your sister and are so happy to be able to splash with her again. We even got some new bath toys during that time so you're extra excited about those.
You still aren't a great sleeper, but don't tell daddy, I love snuggling with you in bed. Your daddy said one morning he found us both sleeping with your hand on my face. I guess we both like the closeness of another body in bed for sleeping.
You're a happy girl that loves music and dancing. Even when I sing horribly, you get into it and start bobbing your little head. You love to clap your hands and are starting to learn a few body parts. I love you so much little Lucy. Thank you for being such an amazing daughter and for teaching me how to be a great mommy to you this past year.

I often said the only cute part about the spica cast was the way her buns looked in it. 

Trying out a chair at Mashall's

Waiting at the dr's office

The same size as a 2 month old baby!

What nursing in the spica cast looked like.

Just hanging out in her beanbag chair.

Cast free and sitting up!

Jamming out.

Clara- Every time I look at you I see so much of myself. You look just like me (but with hazel eyes) and you're a little wild and outspoken, just like your mama. You started crawling this month and nothing can stop you. When grandma dukes came over one morning and she yelled upstairs to try to locate us, you squealed and screamed back and crawled towards the gate at the top of the stairs to alert her to where you were.
You are big on equal treatment and advocating for yourself. When your sister gets something, you make sure you get it too. When she gets picked up, you make it clear you want it to. We joked when Lucy first got the cast that you wanted one too since she was getting extra attention and you were getting jealous. For this reason I know I won't have to worry about you. I know you will be direct and clear about what you want in life. Hmmm...I wonder if I know someone else like that....
You love playing and take it very seriously these days. I'm amazed by your attention span and persistence. You love to put things in and out and will do this for hours every day. It's so awesome to watch you play with toys as they were intended rather than just mouthing everything.
You're so silly and love to giggle and laugh. I often hear you giggling to your sister when I'm in another room. You love books and even if you are upset they always calm you down. You haven't started to really talk or imitate much yet, but I'm sure once you start there will be no stopping you. You're understanding so much more and are starting to show us that.
You're a great sleeper but with learning to crawl, your have a harder time falling asleep. When I put you down in your crib you like to sit back up and chat. You used to just roll over and fall asleep but now it takes you a little more time. You started pulling to stand in your crib so we had to lower it down. That means your shorty mama had to buy a stool so she didn't have to drop you from a foot above the mattress to put you down.
You love eating and still prefer carbs and sweets. You love watermelon and blueberry pancakes. Your favorite foods seem to change often. You still love nursing but recently bit your mama. When I told you it wasn't okay and stopped you you got so upset. I felt horrible, but it really hurt. You still seem to have a sensitive stomach and spit up from time to time. When I try to give you water you almost always chug too much and then throw up. You can't help it that you're enthusiastic.
You're such a happy, lively, and persistent little girl. I love how much you remind me of myself, and although I know you will be trouble at times, I can't wait to watch and see what kind of person you become. I know you'll do great things! I really am the luckiest mama around.

So cute!

Modeling her tutu skirt mama made for her birthday party. 

Wait, that doesn't go there!

Crawling to mama in the bathroom.

Sitting in her new chair.

Looking like such a big girl!

Blueberry picking

I can't believe Lucy and Clara are a year old and we are officially into the second year of their lives. It's been the best year of my life and I'm so grateful for my beautiful daughters.

Hanging with our friends Quinn and Kensi. They are 2 weeks older.

At the zoo. 

When daddy first assembled their new chairs/birthday presents.