Tuesday, July 1, 2014


I can't help but feel like a giant failure when it comes to Lucy and sleep. 

As I've said before, Clara goes to sleep on her own every night and sleeps 11-12 hours. Maybe 1 in 5 nights she'll need her paci, but she rolls right over and falls back to sleep. 

Lucy, on the other hand, is turning into a night time nightmare. Last night she went down fine around 7. Around 10 she woke up crying so I nursed her. She nursed well but then refused to let me put her down in her crib without screaming. W tried rocking her and putting her down and that didn't work either. She was screaming as if she was in pain so I tried to lay down with her. This didn't help either. I tried Morrin, I tried nursing again and she ate. With a full tummy she again refused to go to sleep. Eventually she fell asleep in our bed, but that is so far from idea. 

She woke at 5:30 am and nursed but has refused to nurse since. It's 3:30 in the afternoon. 

At the pediatrician yesterday she only weighed 12.8. This was an 11 ounce gain in 6 weeks. Although the ped didn't say much, I know this is not a great gain. When I asked him about the sleeping he said she should be sleeping through the night. He said I shouldn't feed her at night and should let her cry. That she'll figure out real soon that waking up and crying at night doesn't get her anything. He said she'd make up for those feedings during the day. 

I think I'd be fine with letting her cry except for the weight gain issues. The night feedings are often when she eats best because she's the most relaxed. She's 10 months old and only weighs 12 and a half pounds! 

So basically I'm feeling like a giant failure. I tried to problem solve and make changes but it hasn't solved our issues. I don't know what to do or who to ask for help in figuring out where to go from here. Feeling super defeated...


  1. Sleep is hard. Sleep with twins is even harder!! Hard because you don't want the screaming and crying to earn you TWO babies awake in the middle of the night, and hard because when you see what one baby can do it's frustrating that the other can't/won't. At nearly two, I have one if each- a sleeper and one who I beg as I'm snuggling him before bed to sleep all night, even if he wakes me at 5am. He is also the kind who could cry and scream for.ev.er. So, it's all a difficult dance. In the last couple of weeks we've learned that giving the boys a pouch if baby food purée just before bed has helped a ton. Maybe giving her something a bit more heavy in her tummy before her last nursing session would help? Another switch we made is to give the boys their vitamins in the morning instead of at night incase it was bothering his belly. We've experimented some with bedtime and it's hit or miss sometimes later helps, sometimes earlier helps. If I think of anything else I'll be back! In the meantime, hang in there, you really are doing a great job!

  2. What a rough situation for all of you. I know it has to be hard to hear someone telling you to not feed your baby and let her cry it out until she falls asleep. I hope that you can find some sort of resolution to help Lucy and also you get some sleep.

  3. Oh Liz. You are not a failure! You are a great mother and doing everything you can to help Lucy. I know exactly what you mean about sleep issues. This is something we've been struggling with for awhile with Rylee, as she won't stay asleep in her crib longer than about 5 hours. Ayden was a GREAT sleeper, but now REALLY struggles at night! Sigh. It takes anywhere from about an hour to 2.5 hours for him to calm down and go to sleep. Until that time, he is flat out crying HARD to the point of losing his voice. It is so sad. We try to console him, but it just seems that he is fighting sleep. It's strange that their doctor isn't concerned with her lack of weight gain. I agree with you about feeding her at night. Some babies just need that, as much as you wish it weren't so. At least she did gain weight though. One thing to consider is her activity level during the day now. I assume she is moving all over the place by now, which means she is probably burning more calories. My 9 month old niece is pretty small and actually LOST weight this last month, but she is also on the verge of walking and crawls everywhere. There is no stopping her! Hugs to you. Hang in there. I have no doubt that Lucy will grow up to be just fine. She's just going to be petite :)

  4. From a long term follower, do you have a sleep clinic near you? Where we live in Australia has one and you physically move in for something like four nights with your baby. We were booked in for our older twin, but something clicked the week before it was our turn (there was a couple of months waiting list) and we didn't end up going. I know of a few people who have though, incl my sister, and they rave about them. Biggest issue when you have twins with something like this is to find care (as well as being separated from) your other child. Something like this where they work with you day and night may be just what you need. Good luck!! Lisa

  5. AGHGHHGHG! STUPID blogger ate my comment.

    Okay, long story short, remember that nursing & sleep issues are two separate things, though obviously they're linked so it's hard to know came first - the chicken or the egg.

    Check out this link - maybe something will resonate with you - http://www.troublesometots.com/how-to-cry-it-out-bedtime-edition/

    I really liked her assertation that sleeping better doesn't have to mean also night weaning, which would be helpful in your case. We did this with Stella around 8 months and her sleep improved SO MUCH. She also dropped to 1 night feeding and then to zero on her own a few weeks later.

    Good luck!

  6. You are definitely not a failure! Sleep is hard. My happy, healthy almost 2 year old still doesn't always sleep through the night. I believe strongly that kids will figure it out in time. She won't be nursing and wanting to sleep in your bed when she's 16. I didn't stop night feedings until 15-16 months. Give it time and do what you're comfortable doing. DO NOT feel like a failure. Having a kid who sleeps through the night does not make someone a fantastic mother. It makes them lucky :). You are doing a great job. <3