Be kind

I haven't been the best at keeping up with my blog. I went quite a while without posting much recently. Then I got back into it. I voiced my opinions and  experiences and did so honestly. Heck, it's my blog, I'll write whatever I want. 

I was disappointed to see that although I was posting again not many people appeared to be reading or commenting. 

That's fine. I keep my blog for myself and write so I can look back and remember these things. I want to be able to remember the good things and the bad things. I don't write for comments, but of course they are nice. 

Usually that is. The past few days I've gotten 2 comments that were very judgmental and negative. And big surprise, they're from an anonymous commenter. 

So, annonymous commenter, I ask you, please stop reading. Please stop with your negative comments. I don't want you reading and providing your negativity. 

Thank you for kindly stepping away from my very personal and honest space. Unless you have something positive or helpful to contribute I'm good on your judgement of me. 

Tissues

I stayed the night at my in-laws house. W said he was feeling much better by the late afternoon yesterday and his passport was en route, so things are looking up. 

When the girls were in the nicu we stayed at W's parents house as it was only 10 minutes from the hospital compared to the 45 minutes our house was. 

This morning I reached over and grabbed a tissue to blow my nose. As I threw it in the trash under the bedside table I had a déjà vu moment. I remembered all the tissues I threw out in that same trash a little over 6 months ago. I remembered all those tears and hysterical sobs late at night as I was trying to sleep while my babies were in a hospital. 

It makes me so grateful that we are where we are today. I am so lucky!

Seriously?!

I'm pretty sure W is trying to sabotage our vacation plans. I don't think he realizes it, but man he's making it difficult. I'll be amazed if all 4 of us are on that plane on Sunday. 

It started with the passports. I filled out the applications for the ones for the girls and dealt with their pictures. W did his own application. We mailed them all at the same time. 

Over a week ago we received Lucy and Clara's passports. W said he checked about his and they had cashed the check. 

By the following week I asked him if he could check the status. He said he tried but it only had old information regarding a passport card he got last year. 

Well, on Saturday we received a priority envelope. In my excitement I opened it up expecting to find a passport. Instead I found a letter. It stated his picture wasn't recent enough and that his application was denied. Cue freak out.

He made some calls and got a new photo taken. He sent it overnight on Monday. He seemed confident he would receive the passport on time. So far, no passport. 

Then there's this morning. I woke up to hear W slamming the bathroom door and then vomiting. Cue freak out #2. 

I was supposed to do an evaluation today. Instead I cancelled, packed up the babies, and went to my in laws house to try to escape the plague. As I was walking out the door I heard W vomiting. On my way I got pulled over going 53 in a 30 mph zone. Luckily the police officer let me go. 

So, now I'm at my in laws praying we don't all get this nasty bug. Last I talked to W he was struggling to keep down even small spoonfuls of water. 

So, hopefully the rest of us will stay healthy and W's passport will arrive on time for us all to enjoy our vacation. Please send us happy and healthy vibes for the vacation I so badly need! 

7 Months Old

The girls turned 7 months old while we were in Mexico. It's hard to believe how fast time is going and how much they have changed. This month was a good one. We introduced foods, took our first family vacation, and have switched pediatricians. 

Lucy- You seemed to have turned a corner this month with your eating. We finally ditched the shields and you are so much more efficient. You prefer to eat by yourself and with me in a side lying position. I don't mind because we get to snuggle during this time. You tried your first foods. At first you weren't too sure, but you've started to get the hang of it more. Bananas didn't agree with you, but everything else we've tried has gone pretty well. It tends to take a few bites every time for you to get the hang of it, but then you're more eager. You recently figured out how to spit out your food and once you've had enough, you spit it out. You loved being on vacation and it's the most relaxed we've ever seen you. I'm still taking you to the chiropractor and that seems to really help you to be more relaxed. You're rolling consistently from your belly to your back and have rolled from your back to your belly a few more times. You figured out smiling for the camera and will smile whenever I do anything with my phone. You're still a little weary of strangers but are getting better about it. Your cheeks really filled out this month and we finally got to hear some belly laughs from you. You are so much happier when you eat well and so are your parents. You gained weight really well this month and I've finally stopped worrying so much about it. You love to fake cough to get people's attention and you're grabbing your feet. You still get up at least once a night to eat and aren't really sleeping very long stretches. Although it was short lived this month you started making what we called whale calls. You'd lie in bed and stare up at the light and make these long, pitch-varying sounds when you were happy. Since we got back from vacation you've be very vocal. It's been such a great month for you. I can't believe how much you've changed and grown. 

Clara- You are our wiggly, giggly, little clown. You love to smile at strangers and are very social. You still love to eat and really like this food business. There are times when we worry you will choke because you dive bomb the spoon with an open mouth. The same goes for nursing. You open your mouth like a baby bird and grab at me with outstretched arms. You finally started to roll over and now we can't keep you on your tummy. We often hear you scratching surfaces with your fingers, especially when we put you down in your crib. Sometimes we stop what we're doing to try to figure out what the sound is and then laugh when we figure it out. You've also figured out how to throw toys from your high chair. I like to put you next to daddy so he can get lots of exercise picking up your toys. You had a great time on vacation but unfortunately the sunscreen didn't agree with you and you got quite the rash all over. It didn't keep you from smiling and being happy though. You've grown a lot of hair but most of it is in a center strip on  the top of your head like a mohawk. Your eyes are changing colors and seem to be more of a hazel than blue color. It'll be interesting to see what color they end up. You're a great sleeper and will go pretty long stretches as night. You almost always wake up smiling too. You are such a cutie and I can't believe how big you are. I love you so much!

The girls are really interacting with each other. They steal toys from each other all the time and love to kick each other and roll into and on to one another. Lucy can dish it out but sometimes gets very cranky if Clara touches her too much. We did a lot of singing the song "don't worry, be happy" and dancing this month. You both love the itsy bitsy spider, especially when your daddy sings it to you. We've tried some baby led weaning in addition to the puréed foods and you both really loved apple slices. Lucy seems to be more into the mouthing of foods as Clara tends to just throw most stuff from the high chair. The dogs love that the girls get foods and drop them often. Both girls are nursing without the shields (finally) and I'm only pumping once or twice a day. Prior to vacation we were giving the girls a bottle a day but I just nursed on vacation because it was much easier.  Hopefully we'll get them taking bottles again soon. 

I can't believe how big you are both getting. There are so many times when I feel like I should pinch myself because this life as the mommy of twin girls is surreal. I live it day-to-day, but when I step back and think about it, I can hardly believe how lucky I am. 

St. Patrick's Day

You think a holiday would pass where I wouldn't dress my girls up and take pictures? You're crazy, of course I did! 

Happy St. Patricks Day from Lucy and Clara. 

6 Months

They say the first 6 months with twins is the hardest. I'm not sure if this is true or not, but I'm happy to say we all survived. We are still married and our animals and house plants are all still alive (mostly).

I can't believe we are half way to their first birthday. Watching their cousin Benny a few weekends ago it's hard to believe there's only a 6 month age gap there. It's hard to believe how much they changed from birth and how much they are going to change in the next 6 months. 

W brought me and the girls home flowers to celebrate our 6 months of survival. He got me a bouquet and then a rose for each girl. He told me how proud he was of my huge accomplishment of breastfeeding twins for 6 months. It hasn't been easy, but I've persisted. 

Lucy- You are such a feisty little thing. You are in constant motion and are so strong. You've rolled over from your belly to your back multiple times and are so proud of yourself when you do. You've started to grow weary of strangers and have turned into a real mama's girl. Even your daddy can't calm you down sometimes. You save the biggest and best smiles for me always. You've also figured out that you are supposed to smile for the camera on my phone. It's so cute! You saw a specialist this month who called you "naughty" and said you had a mind of your own. I know these things may be somewhat true, but I also feel like you are still in pain at times from the reflux. You love reaching for people's faces when they hold you. You surprised us all by melting into your nana Joanne and falling asleep on her chest at your cousin Benny's birthday party. You are starting to snuggle with us a little right after you eat or after we change you, but it's not consistent. You don't miss a beat and are so smart. You notice when things are in different places and you really study your toys. You are very visual and love any kind of light, especially the tv. You are definitely teething as you drool like crazy and want to gum all your toys. I can't imagine you with little teeth, but those 2 on the bottom definitely have little buds. You have giggled a few times, but they aren't very loud giggles. You must just be more serious than your sister. You still love to have your diaper changed. We started putting you in the bigger diapers in the morning because you'd soak through your clothes every morning otherwise. I can't wait until you're too big for the newborn cloth diapers. You are growing longer and bigger but still are quite skinny. Your eating has been much better the past few weeks and we even tried some foods with you. So far you weren't really a fan, but it was fun to watch your face. You still aren't a great sleeper, but it's improving. You love to snuggle with your mama, but I'd prefer you to sleep in your crib like a big girl. You love your pacifier but are getting a little better about being able to sleep if it falls out of your mouth. You recently mastered blowing rasberries and are really impressed with yourself. You have quite the array of nicknames: buggy, Goosey bug, bug-a-lug, lugga-lugga, wakka-wakka, etc. I can't believe you are 6 months old my little Lucy! Time is flying by and you are growing before my eyes. 

Clara- You turned into quite the social butterfly this month. You smile at everyone who talks to you and the smile generally sends you into a full body wiggle. It is so cute. You are getting stronger and really like your bumbo seat. You reach for your toys in it and love being up and looking around. You still just love to be held by anyone and you'll chat to most people once you get comfortable. Your eyes appear to be changing from blue to hazel. They are still so big and bright. You love it when we sing to you and you are such a great sleeper. You fall asleep so quickly most time and sleep much longer than your sister. Your hair is really growing and it looks like it's growing the most along the center strip of your head like you are trying to grow a mohawk. You are also teething and drool a lot. You were more impressed by the foods you tried than your sister, but you still shivered upon first taste. You are getting so big and definitely don't look like a little baby anymore. You still love your tubby and smile so much in there. You giggle quite easily, especially when you are tired. You love your sister and smile so big when you see her. You are such a great eater. When you sister doesn't eat great I'll put you on her side to finish what she didn't. You're always happy to oblige. You've started this new grunting thing that has escalated to some interesting sounds recently. All we can do is laugh at you when you do this. We call you chug-a-lug or Clara girl. We are starting to hear more consonant sounds when you babble. I can't believe in another 6 months you'll be a year old. I am so lucky to be your mama. 

There you have it. Half way through our first year. I couldn't be happier! I'm such a lucky mama.