The Sweet Spot

Someone today referred to where the girls are developmentally as the sweet spot. They like to interact with each other and people. They smile, coo, and occasionally giggle. They only really cry when there is something wrong and sleep through the night. They are just so cute. So what makes this stage so sweet? The fact that they aren't yet mobile.

I should appreciate this calm before the storm. Soon enough we'll be implementing "baby jail" and baby proofing everything. When we leave the safety of our baby proofed home we'll be chasing two babies all over the place. 

I'm trying to enjoy every stage and soak up these baby moments. Before we know it, my girls and life will be moving at a much faster pace. 

Giggles

Clara has been such a smiley girl lately. Sometimes I just look over at her and she crumbles into a giant ball of wiggly smiles. She's the type of girl that smiles with her whole face and I love it. 

Last night W and I were in the nursery with the girls. We had them in their bumbo seats as we sat on the floor. The cat was there begging for our attention as well. As the cat pawed at me Clara watched. She then let out a big laugh. W and I looked at each other, so excited for her. 

It was awesome. 

Also, the heart-melting hand holding continues. 

Transfer-iversary

This weekend marks one year that we transferred our perfect embryos. Highlights from that day included: seeing those perfect embryos on the screen and having a hard time believing they were ours, taking Valium and walking around Manhattan, soup dumplings for takeout on our way out of the city, and the full moon that accompanied our long drive home. 

I can't believe that a year ago my little girls were starting to grow inside me. I'm so grateful we gave it one last try and that embryos #18 and 19 turned out to be my perfect girls. I'm so lucky to have them and to be their mommy. I often catch myself saying "mommy's coming" or "mommy's here" to them and just can't believe I'm someone's mommy. I'm a mommy to 2 amazing little people! 

Hand in Hand

My girls have been holding hands constantly lately. While they are on a blanket on the floor, while playing in their play mat, and even while nursing. 

This morning Clara kept grabbing Lucy's hand and touching her head while they nursed. For the first time, Lucy wasn't annoyed by her sister invading her space while she ate. Instead, she reached her hand out too and they nursed, hand in hand. It was so ridiculously cute. 

I See You!

My girls are starting to notice each other little bits here and there. I catch them glancing at the other one throughout the day. This morning I left the room and returned to find Clara playing with Lucy's hands. I love to hold one baby over the other one so their faces are almost touching. They definitely stare at each other then.

One morning I moved Lucy next to Clara in bed. She looked over at her sister and smiled the biggest, ear-to-ear smile at her. 

I can't wait to see how their relationship develops over time. 

Kicks

I was lying in bed the other morning. Clara started to stir and move next to me as she was waking up. Her little feet started to kick around in the bed next to me. 

She then made contact with my body and kicked me in the ribs. When I felt those kicks I remembered her kicks from the inside. Clara was so high in my belly and loved my ribs and diaphragm. The morning the girls we reborn Clara had been on my diaphragm for hours that morning. Her kicks from the outside didn't feel the same, but they made me miss those little nudges from the inside. 

Pregnancy is so amazing and I'm so grateful I was able to experience it. I can't believe my body grew and nurtured two tiny little humans. 

4 Months Old

With our Christmas tree before W cut it down

Christmas dinner

Go Syracuse!

It's not a good sign that at only 4 months I'm already behind on monthly posts. I need to get this post done before the girls get any older. They turned 4 months old on the third, almost 2 weeks ago.  

This month was another great one. We started to work more on a schedule, both daytime and nighttime. The girls started napping in their cribs but not sleeping there at night. We started an eat, play, sleep routine and they've done pretty well with it. They continue to sleep in our bedroom at night either in the pack and play at the foot of the bed or our bed. W is a sucker for having the girls in our bed. We really need to get them out of our bed because I know the longer we continue to have them there, the harder it will be to break the habit. They are so cuddly in bed though I can't help but snuggle them right up next to me. 

Snuggling in bed

We had some firsts as well. The girls celebrated their first Christmas and New Year's. We did our first overnight trip away from home to visit my sister. 

Christmas dresses

cousin love

I can't believe how big my little preemies are getting. Gone are the days when I could pick them up one-handed. Both girls are on Prevacid medication for reflux and Lucy's lack of weight gain continues to be something we're working on. We've started to give her a bottle a day of breast milk mixed with Neosure formula. We recently received a sample of human milk fortifier but haven't tried it yet. I'm still avoiding dairy since it seems to upset the girls. I'd like to try to reintroduce some foods since their reflux is now under control. 

With all of the holidays and traveling we haven't been getting out as much lately. I think I got burned out on how much work it is to get 2 babies out of the house. I did go to mama baby yoga all by myself and both girls were so great. They were mesmerized watching me do yoga. It was super cute. 

My mom still comes most days but I'm not as desperate as I used to be by the time she gets here. I don't feel like I'm going to lose it if she's a half hour late. I'm so much better at managing 2 babies at once. That's not to say that I don't have my moments... 

Lucy- Oh Lucy, you are so intense and dramatic. I think your reflux got the best of you this past month and you really struggled. We had some issues with getting the right medicine, but things are so much better now. We also got you your first necklace made from hazelwood. When in contact with your skin it is supposed to neutralize acid. I'll try anything to help with your reflux. Your body is always in constant motion unless you are sleeping or pooping. You always have your legs kicking, arms flailing, and lips blowing bubbles. You still love tummy time and can raise your arms and legs up while on your tummy. I know you will be rolling over before we know it. You love your hands and put them in your mouth all the time. We look over and your face and hands are soaked in drool. You are still a little peanut. At your 4 month appointment you weighed 8 pounds 6.5 ounces and were 21.75 inches long. You fit mostly in newborn or 0-3 month clothes but recently have worn some 3 month clothes without losing your legs. You are very visual and love the mobiles, your projector in the crib, or looking at people's faces. You smile the cutest little mouth gaping smile, but it's always so short lived. I finally got a picture of your beautiful smile recently. You love to get your diaper changed and smile and coo like crazy when we change you. You still love your pacifier so much. People who hardly know you comment on how much you like it. This month you had to get your blood drawn but you did so well. Your still startle easily and get upset over little things. You arch your back and get so tense when you are upset. When you get that way only me or your daddy are able to really calm you down. This month you started to notice your pets and will watch them walk around you. You are definitely my stubborn little girl. You must get this trait from your mommy. You are such a little cutie and we love you so much. 

Finally a picture of your super cute smile!

Always moving

Next to the height chart in your room. How tall are you?

Clara- You are such a happy girl lately. I look over at your and your entire face breaks into a giant smile, cheeks and eyes included. You love your cheeks to be stroked and touched and almost always smile when we do this. One morning I placed your sister next to you in bed and you looked right at her and smiled. It was so sweet! You are very talkative and social. You love your bath and cry every time daddy takes you out. You love to hang out with your arms on mommy's thighs like you are in a hot tub. When you get mad we still joke about the tea kettle since that's what you sound like. You love music and singing and hate tummy time. Your eyes are so bright and your eyelashes are so long and dark. It looks like you are wearing mascara. This past month you decided you no longer want to drink from a bottle. I really hope you get over this soon. At your 4 month appointment you weighed 11 pounds and were 22 1/2 inches long. You are wearing mostly 0-3 or 3 month clothing and recently moved into one sized cloth diapers diapers from the newborn ones. You can still squeeze into the newborn ones but they are getting super small. Your thighs are so chubby and your cheeks are so kissable. I'm so lucky to be your mommy. 

Wearing the bunting your grandma knit for you

How tall is Clara?

Wearing a big diaper

This month was another great one. Time flies when you're having fun. 

First Fevers

The girls had their first fevers this week. It was a miserable day for everyone and, unfortunately, we are still seeing glimpses of the misery. 

On Tuesday we went it the pediatrician. Lucy had gained a little bit better than last time and the dr was happier. We also had the results from the blood work he ordered that showed everything was find. He still wants me to supplement her a little by adding some Neosure to 2 ounces of breast milk and giving that to her once a day. I went out and bought it but haven't opened it yet. It breaks my heart to have to give her anything but my breast milk unless absolutely necessary. The dr thinks she needs more calories than her sister. I've been trying to just feed her more to get more calories into her that way. I'm back to waking up at 3 am with her in order to feed her. It's not fun but it's good to know she's getting a few extra ounces a day. I used to give her the paci and she would go back to sleep but I figured feeding her was probably best to help her gain weight. 

Getting up with her isn't as bad as in the beginning, but gone are my 5-6 hour stretches of uninterrupted sleep.  My body is a bit confused as well. Most nights I'm able to nurse her in a side-lying position so I get to stay lying down in bed. For the first few nights I soaked the sheets and bed as I leaked from the other side. 

Tuesday afternoon the girls were knocked out from their shots. They had to be woken up for most of their feelings. I thought they felt a little warm before bed but we didn't take their temperatures. 

On Wednesday morning I got up around 7 to feed them. Lucy definitely wasn't herself and was very upset. Clara was her usual smiley self. They ate and went back to sleep until around 10. 

Every morning we have the same routine. I feed them in bed and then we go in their room. I change diapers and put a blanket on the floor. They play on the floor and I pump, read them books, sing songs, talk to then, etc. Well, as soon as I put them down on the blanket they both started wailing. They both felt hot so I ran downstairs to get thermometers. I checked Clara first. She had a temperature of 103. Lucy's was 102.8. I called the pediatrician and waited to her back about the dosage of Tylenol to give them. 

I found that out, gave them Tylenol, and hoped for the best. Luckily my mom and FiL were over to help. 

The girls napped in people's arms (something we usually try to avoid) and by the time W came home their fevers were lower. 

You would think since their fevers were lower they'd be feeling better. Not so much. They took turns screaming and also screamed some in unison. By 9:00 I had a migraine and needed W to take over. Unfortunately, Lucy cried for the next 2 hours. I felt horrible that I couldn't help, by my head was pounding and I felt super nauseous.

W survived his time with Lucy. She eventually crashed and fell asleep. 

I was hoping Thursday would bring me babies who felt 100% better. Not so much. They took turns being grumpy and refused to nap in their crib. 

I guess what they say is true. As soon as you think you have a handle on things and feel like you know what you're doing, things change. If anyone knows where my happy and napping babies are, please send them back to me.