8 Weeks

I'm almost through week 8. I oscillate between feeling really positive and confident about things to worrying a whole bunch. Early in the week we watched the first episode of the Walking Dead. That night I had a horrible dream that the babies died. I also dreamt I was chasing my cat around the supermarket because he got free from a bag I was carrying him in. I have a lot of crazy dreams, but this was one of the worst. I woke up feeling horrible and scared. When I told my sister about my dream she said she had bad dreams when she was pregnant and watched that show. We won't be watching it again any time soon. 

I finally made a decision about an OB and made an appointment this week. When I saw Dr. Br.averman on Monday he said he wanted me to be seen this week or next. I was so overwhelmed by the decision of who to choose I put it off until later in the week. 

I first started with the hospital I knew I wanted to deliver at. I chose that one because they have the highest level NICU. I really hope we don't need it, but it's good to have "in my back pocket" as my general physician said. I got recommendations from 2 friends and my general physician about who to use. Then I called and made an appointment. They didn't have anything this week so I made an appointment for next Thursday afternoon. They offered me one Tuesday morning, but the afternoon is much better so that W can be there. I'm really nervous about the idea of not getting and ultrasound. I have no idea whether I will not not, but I'm not sure I can go too much longer without one. It's so easy to get spoiled with weekly ultrasounds. 

After my bad dream this week I decided I wanted to buy a doppler. I ordered one online and am hoping it comes this week. I really hope it doesn't cause me more stress since I bought it for reassurance. I realize it doesn't always pick up a heartbeat, so I promise I'll try not to stress if that happens.

This week the babies are the size of raspberries or about 3/4 of an inch. The fingers and toes are still webbed but starting to differentiate. Upper lips, the tip of little noses, ears, and eyelids are developing. The babies even have distinguished wrists and elbows that they can flex.  

My belly is definitely getting bigger. I still don't think it's noticeable to anyone else, but it feels more firm and has a different shape. I'm still fitting into my jeans but joked the dryer really shrunk my one pair this week. I put them on one morning and had to really stretch them out before they felt comfortable. I may not be putting them in the dryer again. I'm sure it's the dryer's fault, not the fact that I'm getting any bigger, right?

My symptoms are about the same. The nausea fluctuates from day to day and hour to hour. I'm still exhausted and love my sleep and naps.

The meat aversion has improved slightly and I had meat at 2 different meals this week. One was a soup that had chicken in it and I had a few bites with the chicken and then last night I ate corned beef. I know it's not great a great choice, but it's a once a year occasion. I've noticed anything with nitrates in it seems to give me headaches so that wasn't so much fun last night. 

I'm still getting up a few times a night to pee although I tend to resist and then not sleep as well. The bathroom really isn't that far and I try to keep my eyes closed as I pee so that I can fall back asleep easily. 

I've had some heartburn this week and eating Tums seem to help a bunch. 

My ovaries still feel huge and are really painful if I move fast or suddenly. Last night I rotated in bed and was in so much pain on both sides. 

My back has also started hurting a little bit this week and I'm not sure why. Good thing my hubby is a physical therapist. He said he was going to look into some exercises for me. I also want to start doing prenatal yoga but there isn't any place that close and the only one I found offers it on Thursday evening. Not sure how well that will work. W and I talked about ordering a DVD. We took the dogs for a walk today since it was so beautiful. I have honestly been too scared to do anything but am realizing it's really important to at least walk as much as possible.

I haven't really had any cravings. Every time I open the fridge and see pickles though they look absolutely delicious. It's the only thing that looks good all the time (even in the early morning). I don't think that's really anything new though. Just typing this makes me want to eat one. It just seems so cliche. 

I don't have a ton of patience these days. I feel badly as I work with young children and really should be more patient, but I'm struggling lately. I also don't have a ton of patience with W but he's pretty understanding. He appreciates that I recognize it and apologize after.

I'm still on Metformin 2000 mg/day, Neupogen 35 units each evening, Lovenox 40 mg in the morning and evening, 3 estrogen patches every other day, 2 cc's progesterone in oil every night, baby aspirin and Foltanx in the morning, and a prenatal vitamin. Last time I asked Dr. Br.averman he said just to continue everything. Not sure when I will stop them but I'm nervous just thinking about it.  

Last night we stopped at the mall and looked at a few baby things. We haven't bought anything other than the onesie and outfit in NYC but it was kinda fun to look at things and start thinking. W and I both woke up this morning and talked about dreams we both had where we were lost. I think it pretty much sums up how we are both feeling. The twin thing is sinking in more and more and I'm starting to get excited and feel attached to them. I've been really guarded this whole time but I feel myself letting my guard down more and more. I just hope things continue to go well.