Wednesday, December 21, 2011

If you can't make 'em, eat 'em

Welcome if you are visiting from ICLW. Thanks for stopping by! To catch you up to speed, I am Liz. I am 28 and live in NY. I have been seeing my RE for 16 months and have PCOS and one tube. During this time I have had 2 laparoscopic surgeries, 2 D&C's (one for a miscarriage and one for polyps), 2 failed IUI's and 1 failed IVF. If you want a more detailed history, feel free to read more

This may seem like a strange title for a post, but it stems from a joke I made during dinner tonight. W and I went out for a nice dinner and he ordered the osso bucco. Forever he had a thing against eating veal (which I completely understand but don't abide by). As he took his first bite he said, "I just remembered what osso bucco is... veal." So my reply was, "If you can't make 'em, eat 'em." We both had a good laugh and continued to joke about delicious baby legs.  

I got the phone call today to confirm what I already knew. To be honest, I stopped all my meds after I got another BFN on a pregnancy test on Monday morning. It was a FRER test which I know picks up HCG levels below 10. I knew if the number was going to be that low it wasn't going to be a viable pregnancy anyway. Well, big surprise my beta HCG number was zero. And the nurse I don't like called to give me the news. She didn't say anything other than that it was negative. 

To get it off my chest, the things the nurse did the day of the transfer the upset me were: 

1) She called me by the wrong name and had paperwork for me to sign with the wrong name on it. No, my name is not Tracy. Good thing I caught that one and corrected her. 

2) Saying to us about 20 minutes prior to the transfer "Everything is going wrong this morning" W looked right at her and said, "Don't say that." 

3) Referring to my embryos as "eggs." I had her double check we were transferring the right ones after the name mix-up. Even the embryologist called her out on that one. 

4) Completely losing her shit in the transfer room when the embryologist tried to hand the catheter with my embryos to her through the "window". The nurse starting yelling at the embryologist and said she was no longer sterile. Dr. S practically yelled at her and told her he had it. I just tried to close my eyes and relax. 

5) Rushing everything. Rushing me to go into the transfer room when they weren't even ready, and then trying to rush me to get up and go to the bathroom after. No, I didn't want to get up for 30 minutes, but after about 10 she was trying. 

I tried not to think of all these things that she did that day. I don't think it changed the outcome or anything, but it changed my opinion of her and the clinic for hiring her. I don't think she conducts herself in a professional manner and I'm definitely looking in a new direction for my next cycle. 

The nurse is honestly reason #2 to switch clinics. Reason #1 is financial. The clinic I currently go to charges about $6000/IVF cycle. To be honest, I haven't gotten the final bill and am not sure how much the assisted hatching cost. So probably, it will end up costing more than that. The other clinic with Dr. Gere (aka Dr. K) has package deals. I am looking now at one that includes 3 cycles for $7500. If it works the first time, great. If not, I know I will have 2 more tries and not feel so stressed about the money. 

I'm doing ok with the negative. I know Christmas isn't going to be easy, but I'm managing to put a smile on my face and continue on. Having a new plan in place is going to give me a positive direction to look in. I plan to call Dr. Gere's office tomorrow and ask my list of questions. I'm hoping to be able to start BCP's for another IVF cycle as soon as AF shows. Open the flood gates already, I'm ready to get this show on the road.

I really think a big part of IVF is a numbers game. If I'm going to gamble, I'd rather gamble in an efficient casino. 


  1. That nurse sounds WORTHLESS!!! I'm so sorry you had to deal with that on what is already kind of a stressful day.

  2. Geeze, what a horrible nurse! I hope you are able to switch clinics and find one that is better for you. So sorry things didn't work out this cycle. Keep focusing on your new plan, it def helps to have a plan to keep your thoughts positive. Good luck!


  3. That is an awful, awful nurse. I'd HIGHLY recommend writing a letter to the clinic detailing these events. While I'm sure they're well aware of the problem, it could be the boost they need to do something about it so she's not a witch to future patients.

    I'm so sorry about the bfn. You truly do seem to be handling it well- I am inspired to dig myself out of this depression hole and be more like you :)

  4. Ugh, that nurse sounds awful. :(

    I agree wholeheartedly with your summation of the whole process - time to find a more efficient casino indeed!

    Off topic - but thank you SO MUCH for the package. You are an incredibly thoughtful person, even in the midst of your heartache. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart...

  5. That nurse sounds terrible! I am so sorry that already disappointing news was compounded by her thoughtlessness. I hope the new center has better staff!

  6. I am so sorry about your FET not working. It's such a difficult time of year already, and then to have a treatment cycle fail on top of that must be very hard. The nurse you had for your transfer sounds AWFUL. I hope you find a clinic that suits you better.

    I giggled at your veal jokes with your husband. For a long time, I couldn't joke about IF with my husband, and now we joke about it regularly. Definitely eases the tension a bit.

  7. So sorry about that inconsiderate, nasty nurse! Mostly, so sorry about your BFN :(

  8. I'm sorry about your BFN and about the difficulties with the nurse. I would definitely look into switching, that is way too much stress to deal with in an already stressful and sensitive situation.
    Your husband's comment about the veal cracked me up. Haha! It looks like we both have funny men in our lives.

  9. Just stopping in from ICLW :Merry Christmas

  10. Hi from ICLW. Merry Christmas to you! Sorry for your bad news but glad you have some hope for the future.

  11. Hi Liz!

    Thank you so much for following me. I'm going to follow you too and can't wait to hear more about your new plans. You have a great attitude, I've been struggling with our failed IVF lately, and it's nice to see your fresh perspective.