Monday, November 18, 2013

Unfair

I recently mentioned my friend Katie in a post. We met at prenatal yoga and really bonded because we were both pregnant with twins. I have a subtle way and trying to determine if someone's multiples were conceived with fertility treatments or not. I ask them when they found out. If someone found out at 6 weeks it was likely fertility treatments due to the close monitoring. If someone found out at more like 8 weeks likely they spontaneously conceived their multiples. The first time I met Katie I asked her when she found out. She told me at around 8 weeks and also mentioned in passing that she had twin nieces. I assumed her twins were spontaneous. 

Katie and I chatted before and after yoga quite a few times and added each other on Facebook and exchanged a few messages. We made plans to go for dinner sometime with our hubbies, but she got placed on bed rest at 24 weeks so it never happened.

Katie was in and out of the hospital due to placenta previa and concerns with baby B. One afternoon while I was pumping in the NICU I received a message from her that she was back in the hospital and that baby B wasn't going to survive. Unfortunately, they lost him at 27 weeks.

The surviving twin was born 2 weeks ago at almost 34 weeks. It's funny that we were 8 weeks apart in our pregnancies and now our babies are 8 weeks apart. Not how either of us planned things, that's for sure. 

I visited Katie last Wednesday at the hospital. I met her little boy who has his twin brother's first name as his middle name. We chatted about a lot of different things because I was there a few hours. Somehow the 6 week pp ob appointment and birth control came up. She said something along the lines of them having a hard time getting pregnant. I added that my ob asked and I said we weren't going to use any birth control since it took us 5 rounds of IVF to get pregnant. She asked if we used CNY (Dr. K) which is the clinic I did 3 ivf's at without success. I told her we started there but didn't have success and found a dr in NYC. I asked if she went there and she proceeded to say, "I'm so mad at Dr.K!" 

she told me they conceived with IUI. She used injectables and it worked the first time. She told me they had 13 mature follicles at trigger! She told me she was originally pregnant with 6 babies. She told me she had to travel to NYC for a fetal reduction.

Could her pregnancy have been more difficult and emotional? I think one of the hardest things to have to do would be to reduce after wanting and trying so hard to get pregnant. Her pregnancy started emotional, continued to be that way with bed rest, hospitalizations, and the loss of one of her twins, and ended that way with her surviving twin spending 13 days in the NICU. I hate that people have to go through anything like that. Infertility is tough enough.  

7 comments:

  1. That's just WRONG. THat's how "jon & kate plus 8" got their sextuplets. I don't understand how a RE can even allow you to move forward with that many follies. Mine would allow 3 -- 4 max IF you had other extenuating stuff going on that meant your chances of fertilization were lower. For me, more than 3 meant a cancelled cycle. 13 is ASININE. This shit makes me so mad. I'm so sorry for your friend. :(

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  2. OMGosh! That is just so wrong! 6 babies??? I cannot imagine having to make that difficult decision to do selective reduction. And then, you are right, to have a difficult pregnancy on top of that and lose one of them? That doctor shouldn't be allowed to practice fertility medicine/treatments. What he is doing is not ethical that he allowed her to continue with IUI with that many follies. It would suck to have a canceled cycle, but how could you do otherwise with that many mature follies!

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  3. I absolutely agree with the other ladies. Hate how she was put in that situation.

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  4. Oh wow :( She has been through so much. What a little miracle this surviving twin is. ps-I have been meaning to comment on your other posts and get sidetracked. But I just wanted to say the girls are so super cute and Im glad things are going well and you all are getting into the swing of things :)

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  5. I cannot even imagine. What a horrible, horrible doctor! It is scary that things like that happen on both the doctor and patient side of things. But, holy cow, how could a doctor honestly suggest continuing with an IUI with 13 follies! I had a limit for myself and my doctor had one she was comfortable with- we both agreed three was it.

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  6. There are no words. I can't believe they weren't cancelled with 13 follicles!! I'm so sad for her...

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  7. I'm so sorry for everything your friend had to go through, all her losses. I hope her surviving baby will thrive.

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