Monday, December 2, 2013

I Had No Idea

I had no idea how much I could love and worry about something so little. The past few weeks have been busy. They have brought huge milestones to our house but also tons of worry. It's nothing huge, but as their mommy I worry about them often.

Lucy and Clara are no longer that close in size. When they were born there was a 12 ounce difference between them with Lucy being the smaller baby. I jokingly refer to her as the "little big sister". The first few weeks at home they gained at about the same rate of 7-10 oz per week. Then Lucy stopped eating as well and for as long as her sister and the weight gap started to widen. Lucy is definitely noticeably lighter and smaller than her sister.

Unfortunately the dreaded thrush returned. I'm pretty sure we never fully got rid of it, but within the past 2 weeks it's been back full force. The pediatrician made me bring the girls in to be seen on a Friday and again questioned whether it was thrush. Every time they try to tell me it's milk residue. First off, I've never seen babies with such white tongues, and secondly, I had all the symptoms once again(burning nipples, shooting pain in my breasts, and shiny and red nipples.) Attractive, I know. Well, after 2 co-pays and $60.00 I convinced them to prescribe Nystatin again and we headed out. By Wednesday I was getting concerned about Lucy's feedings or lack there of. Their tongues didn't look any better and she would latch but then quickly pull away and cry out as if she was in pain. I couldn't get her to eat for 10 minutes with any feeding. She was getting upset and so was I. Finally I called and explained what was going on and the Dr called in a stronger medicine.

Their tongues started to look much better but this behavior continued. The past few days I have been beyond stressed out. I have a plugged duct from the girls not eating well that I'm trying to get rid of. Lucy and I have both shed quite a few tears over this feeding fiasco. 2 days ago she skipped 3 feedings in a row and cried and cried as I tried to get her to eat. It wasn't any better with a bottle, the behavior was exactly the same as soon as the milk was in her mouth.

Today we went to the pediatrician for their 3 month (!!!) appointment. Lucy had only gained 2 ounces since her last appointment 11 days prior. Clara had gained 6 oz. I asked the pediatrician if he was concerned and he said her gain wasn't ideal. There is now a 2 pound difference between the girls. I explained what had been going on and his best guess was that she also has reflux. We decided to try the same medication as Clara and started it tonight. I really hope this helps and she starts to gain weight like her piggy sister. 

I'm just so tired of worrying so much about her. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for better feedings and better weight gain. 


  1. Aww the constant worrying is so tough. We just want our kids to be be happy and healthy! Samantha has really started not eating well AT ALL. And its stressing me out :( As the Mom I tend to worry the most while everyone else doesn't think its that big of a deal! I guess us Mom's will be worrying about them forever! I hope little big sister gains soon! xo

  2. I hope that the medication helps little Lucy and she will be able to start eating. How can you NOT worry about your babies?

    It looks like in the picture that maybe they are wearing cloth diapers? Would you mind sharing what kind you are using and if you like them? I would like to try cloth diapers but not sure about it. You can email me at if you want to, or have time to!

  3. I hope the new medication makes a difference and she is gaining weight in no time.

    The worry will never stop. Just means you are a great mom :)

  4. I have started having the same problem with one of my girls in the last week. During some feedings she cries as soon as the bottle gets in her mouth and she is eating less than before. Then she spits up most of what we do get her to eat. I am guessing it's reflux.
    I hope the medication helps. It is so frustrating and sad to know they might be struggling.
    I also hope the thrush and clogged duct get better soon. I know the pain can be terrible.