For my job I go into people's homes every day. Some are better than others, and some are pretty horrible. At the present moment, I don't have any that are too terrible. I wear jeans to work every day so I can sit on the floor and not worry about ruining any nice clothes. I love that my job is casual and that I can be comfortable every day.
I've been working with half brothers since September. Their house was never the cleanest, but it was fine. I would often see the boys are daycare so that was much better than at home.
Recently they moved out of their house and into a family member's house. There are a lot of people in the house including two teenage girls with autism. It's busy, loud, and chaotic, but there is a big table I can sit at in the dining room with the boys. My arm may have gotten stuck on a sticky spot on the table a time or two, but I've definitely seen worse. At least I was at a table with chairs.
The first day I left the new house I smelled like smoke. I saw an older guy with an unlit cigarette in his hand but never saw anyone smoking. I don't love that I smelled like smoke, but it happens a lot. Smoke lingers in people's home, regardless of how recently they smoked.
The second time I walked into the house I looked all the way back through the house to see a kitchen so dense with smoke you could hardly see the people in the room. The room with the big table was directly next to the room filled with smoke. I looked and there were no doors we could close to contain it somewhat.
I suffered for an hour, debating what exactly to do. It's hard to go into someone's home, especially their extended family's home and tell them what to do. I know I wouldn't like a stranger telling me what they would like me to do or not do in my house. In addition to the smoke I could hear little animals running around within the roof/ceiling. I think they were squirrels and that was slightly humorous to be honest.
I left and went home to immediately pull off all of my clothes and put them in the wash. It was disgusting. The next session was supposed to be at daycare so I didn't feel the need to say anything. When I drove all the way to the daycare the next time the mom told me she forgot to text me and tell me, but the boys were at her father's smokey house. I decided to not see them that day.
Last week was spring break and I didn't see the boys at all. Luckily, the mom texted me today to tell me all of the days I see them this coming week they will be at daycare.
I guess it's time to start telling people so they are more considerate. I would love them to be more conservative and cancel when their children are sick, or put the cigarettes out when I'm in the house. I even debated asking that mom if she would meet me at the library or something so I didn't have to go into the house. I guess I'm glad I have another week to figure it out.
I had the chance to tell my boss last week but chickened out. W laughed at me but I'm still having a hard time uttering those words, "I'm pregnant" without any kind of prompt or question. I'm sure I'll get there, and hopefully it will be sooner than later.
Today when I put on something other than a sweatshirt it was obvious there's something going on. I've purchased a few pairs of maternity pants and I hemmed and wore my first pair this weekend. It's hard to get used to not having a button and fly when going to the bathroom. I'd love to be more open about it and start to wear some tighter clothes rather than big baggy ones. It's time I embrace and show off my belly that is growing bigger and bigger.
I called my ob's office last week and asked a few questions including when they would want to see me next. The nurse said she would ask the doctor and call me back. When she called back she told me the doctor wanted to see me again this next Tuesday. She said we would talk and they would also do an ultrasound to check for the heartbeats. We are going to have a photo album of ultrasound pictures, but I'm sure not complaining. I'm pretty sure after this appointment that I won't be going for a while. Maybe after that I will start to tell more people??
Heck, I still haven't told my mom and step-father. Granted they are in Costa Rica until the end of June, but it's still almost laughable. W and I joked we would pick them up at the airport to a huge surprise. I really want to tell them over Skype but just haven't gotten the chance yet.
I'm so unclear as to when the second trimester officially starts. Is it 12, 13, or 14 weeks? I know it's just a number and concept, but I guess I would just like to know since I'm super confused.
Wow this is a tough question and one that I never really thought of before. I think if I were in your situation I would probably explain that since I am pregnant I would prefer to meet the boys somewhere else since the smoke bothers you. I hope the clients would understand, but even if they don't you have to do what is best for you and the babies :) I think you should tell you Mom on Skype, I am sure she will be thrilled! I bet once you start telling people its going to be so awesome!
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to know the appropriate time to tell people after all we've gone through. I would say the second trimester starts at the beginning of 13 weeks. At least that is what I considered it. I think I told close friends at 14 weeks and work at 16 weeks. You need to do what is right for your situation. There is no rush, but it may make you feel better for them to know.
ReplyDeleteI'm considering 13w3d as the start of the second tri, since that's 40/3. I would still feel like a fraud telling casual acquaintances that I'm pregnant, even though I'm less than a week away from being done with the first trimester. I think a big part of it is that I'm not showing at all (I've only got one in there, so it makes sense that you're growing faster), but it also just feels new still -- and unreal. I told my friend the other day that another 27 weeks hardly seems like enough time to come to terms with being a pregnant woman (but that I'll eat those words towards the end, I'm sure).
ReplyDeleteOhhh how I dislike smoke and the lingering smell it leaves on your clothing. I don't think it would be bad at all to request meeting somewhere else. I always thought that 13 weeks was the 2nd trimester, but what do I know! Lol I would have a hard time telling people too, when it hardly feels real. But guess what Liz? It is reall!! You have 2 beautiful babies growing inside you right now! Wahoo!!
ReplyDeleteThat is such a hard situation you are in. I hope that you are able to make adjustments to your job that will keep you and babies healthy and safe.
ReplyDeleteHmm, we all know that second hand smoke is bad for children and pregnant women, but unfortunately not everyone cares. I understand your hesitation about talking to the family directly. Would they be unfriendly or hostile about the request to not smoke while you are there? Maybe go to your boss first, even if you planned to wait until 14-16 weeks to disclose your pregnancy. I don't think it is an unreasonable concern at all!
ReplyDeleteI always considered 12 weeks a milestone until I found out that most providers count the second trimester at 14 weeks.
Wow, that's so hard! I would second the idea of telling your boss before the families. Thinking of you!
ReplyDeleteI would tell your boss and families...it will make life easier in general. But I totally get the post-infertility paranoia/feeling superstitious! Btw-second trimester starts at either 13 weeks 2 days, or 13 weeks 3 days....pretty silly number!
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