Wednesday, November 26, 2014


One of the hardest parts of being a stay at home mom is the social aspect. It's easy to feel lonely at home all the time. As a result, I try hard to get out of the house most days to do something. I've worked hard at finding friends to have play dates with.

I'm lucky that I have a great group of friends. My little group consists of my friend Natasha and her twin girls that are two weeks older (and twice the size) of Lucy and Clara. Stacy has twin boys that are almost 2 months older than my girls, and Katie has a son (who was a twin until 27 weeks) that is 8 weeks younger. All of us primarily stay home with our babies. Stacy is a photographer and shoots about 15-20 weddings a year as well as family photos. She took our photos this fall. 

I met Natasha and Stacy through the local Multiple Moms Mingle group. Natasha and I had due dates that were only a few days apart. I met Katie at prenatal yoga and we bonded over the fact that we were both pregnant with twins. Katie's pregnancy was complicated by placenta Previa and IUGR. 

The four of us (and our 7 babies) try to get together regularly. Our babies are all very close in age, play well together, and we generally have similar parenting ideas and styles (thus far at least). We always have a group text going with discussions, advice, questions, recipes, etc. The best part? We all went through infertility so totally "get it". A few months ago we started a girls night out where we go out for drinks and dinner once a month. 

We recently celebrated "friendsgiving". Here's a group shot. 

That's not to say I don't still try to branch out and meet other mommies. Recently I had exchanged quite a few messages with a girl from high school. She has a son that is 3 days older than Lucy and Clara. We planned a play date at the museum of play for last week. 

We had a really fun day. Her son was adorable and about twice the size of the girls (hmm...seems to be a recurring theme). Our conversations were quite the reminder why I love my usual mommy friends. In all fairness, she doesn't know our history and what she said came from a place of blissful ignorance. 

As we were walking she told me she was pregnant. Only about 5 weeks and she hadn't been to the dr yet. She told me she was worried she wouldn't be able to love another child as much as her son. When I asked if they were trying she said they had been. She was disappointed they hadn't gotten pregnant in August because her hubby was a teacher and that would be "perfect" timing. Instead, it took her 2 months to get pregnant. 

In my book, the fertile teachers are the worst kind. They plan their pregnancies so perfectly that no only is there perfect spacing between their children, but they are also born at the end of the school year. This allows them to take the remainder of the school year and summer off. 

I sat in so many meetings in the spring time with those pregnant teachers when we were going through fertility treatments. It was hard because there was always down time and chit-chat about their pregnancies. Their huge pregnant bellies would be an easy topic of conversation. 

I wasn't jealous of this friends pregnancy. I'm not really ready for another baby just yet. I'm just jealous of her blissful ignorance. Her ability to time things and then get pregnant so easily. 

The thing about infertility is, I don't think it ever leaves you. It continues to affect how you respond and feel about pregnancies even once you've gotten to experience it for yourself, and it even has the ability to shape your friendships. I'm so grateful to have been able to meet such a great group of women to raise my girls alongside. 


  1. Oh I feel the same way. But your girls are the cutest of the lot anyways.

  2. So glad you have that great group of girls!! And you are never leaves...just kind of shifts into different shapes :)

  3. It's so interesting to me how deep women bond over infertility. I know several women now who've faced infertility and have since become mothers- and I absolutely agree they are WAY easier to be with. Even on things totally not pertaining to infertility I find that we have more common ground simply because of everything we've gone through. Your entire life outlook/perspective is shaped and molded through that hardship and often, it seems other perspectives are similarly changed.

  4. It's so great that you have that play date group! I love that the mommies get a night out once a month too. I can't help but shake my head at your other friend. It took her 2 whole months to get pregnant. That must have been rough! Ha! I'm glad that you have lost the bitterness of infertility, even if we never forget it.

  5. I'm so thankful for our mommy group. I don't know how I would do it without support from you and our friends! Love you!