Friday, October 21, 2011

An unexpected loss

I haven't updated much since there really hasn't been much different or exciting going on. I had an appointment scheduled with Dr. S at 2:30 today. To say I had been looking forward to it is an understatement. I always feel better when we have a plan and are working towards that whole "getting pregnant" thing. 

I was running early so made a stop at an organic supermarket. I thought I left enough time to get to my appointment, but my GPS led me the most frustrating way. I had to stop at so many red lights that I arrived a few minutes late feeling super stressed and anxious. About 5 minutes later an unfamiliar nurse called me back. She told me Dr. S was with a patient but that she was going to get my vitals.

 I asked if my favorite nurse Becky was out. Becky is the main nurse at my clinic. I have gotten to know her very well over the past year + that I have been going there. The unfamiliar nurse then told me that Becky passed away about 2 weeks ago. 

I wrote about how I learned Becky had cancer back in July. I'm not sure if I told the complete story at that time. One morning when one of the nurse practitioners was drawing my blood for my IVF cycle she told me more details. Becky was 38 when she passed away on October 8th. 10 years ago she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She went through chemo and radiation and was in remission. In June of this year she found out her cancer was back. It was in her kidneys, liver, and bones. It didn't sound good. 

To say that Becky was a great nurse in an understatement. She was a vital part of that office and my treatment to this point. She is who I called with questions or concerns and we often just chatted about life. She did one of my IUI's and was at my bedside when I woke up from anesthesia after my retrieval. When she pushed my wheelchair to my car after my retrieval she noticed my pedicure that no one else had. I felt so guilty being the one in the wheelchair since she was the one without any hair. She was there to offer her condolences at the appointment when we found out about the miscarriage. 

When I went in for my sonohysterogram on Sep 19th she looked great. Her color was much better and her hair was growing back. She seemed to have more energy and was positive. 

The unfamiliar nurse told me that she had gone on a cruise with her husband and became disoriented and stopped making any sense. They came home and her husband drove her from Boston to Syracuse where she died the following day. 

I spent the next hour in the waiting room waiting for Dr. S and feeling horribly sad about Becky. I will update about my appointment at another time. 


  1. So sorry to hear about the loss of someone who has been such a significant part of your journey... she sounds like such a special person and truly caring. Love always xoxo

  2. I am so sorry for your loss. It's the nurses like Becky that make this process a little bit easier for us. I am so sorry.

  3. So very sorry for your loss. She sounds like an unsung hero, one who I'm sure will be missed.

    I wish you all the best with your upcoming FET. I am featuring your blog tonight!