Updates From the NICU

The girls are doing great. They are 11 days old today and both still in the NICU.

I started tandem nursing on Wednesday. By Thursday night Lucy was struggling. She was going strong for about 5 minutes and then losing steam and falling asleep. W would help as much as possible by burping her, rubbing her feed, or trying to wake her up. This would often work to wake her up, but then getting her latched again was difficult. 

On Thursday night I tried to nurse the girls but had to swallow my pride and give Lucy a bottle as she wasn't having success with nursing. I had to do what was best for my girl, not what I wanted. Getting the bottle into her wasn't easy either, but with a lot of persistence I succeeded. 

 The LC Charlene was off on Thursday but luckily was there on Friday. We talked about little Lucy in the morning and made a strategy. She said it was best to alternative every other feeding between the breast and the bottle. This way Lucy wasn't getting so tired nursing and we were making sure she was still getting full feedings. On Friday she had fewer dirty diapers and was very low energy. She also looked more jaundiced. Over these few days she also had quite a few bradycardia episodes where her heart rate would slow down. Most were self corrected, but it was obvious she was tired and working too hard. 

I cried quite a bit over this setback. Things went so well on Wednesday but it all was a little much for her. I didn't want to push her too much and knew I had to back off and do what was best for her. 

At the same time her sister Clara really took off. For feedings she was going for 25 minutes on the breast without any problems. She practically didn't even need me to hold her head. We would pull her out of her isolette and W would hand her to me, gaping mouth, ready to nurse. She was our little champ. 

To my surprise the LC is also an RN and was also working today so she requested she be assigned to the girls. That way we could work more on feedings and she could observe the girls more closely. She is so amazing and experienced and I feel so lucky to have her there to help us and take care of the girls. We woke up for the 7:00 AM feeding this morning because we planned to go to the mom's of multiples consignment sale at 9:30. 

I was up to pump at 2:00 AM and 5:00 AM and then we got up at 6:20. The 45 minutes between the last pumping session and waking up was rough. I was so emotional today and Charlene pointed out that  the less sleep I got the more I'd be crying. She wasn't lying. 

We found out today that Clara is going to move into an open crib tomorrow and will likely be discharged 48 hours later. Lucy is not ready for an open crib yet. Finding this out broke my heart. I never thought the girls would be discharged at different times. 

This afternoon we came home to nap and W and I snuggled together while I cried. We decided we aren't going to say that Clara is "coming home" since we aren't going to be at our house. We will be bringing the girls home together when Lucy is ready as well. Until then we will continue to stay at my in-laws house. It makes me sad to think that I had matching outfits to bring them home in and that we are going to be leaving Lucy without her sister for the first time. 

I'm a little worried about how I'm going to manage one here and one in the NICU. I'm sure we'll figure it out, but it's not how I pictured things. None of this is how I pictured it though.

Hopefully Lucy won't be far behind. I can't wait for us all to be together in our own house for the first time.

I never thought this time period in the NICU would be so tough. I'm hanging in there and doing my best, but it's not easy. Just like infertility, I wouldn't wish this on anyone.