Dad

Last weekend we traveled to my sister's house to visit my nephew and celebrate his third birthday. We planned to stay Friday night and return Saturday evening while the girls were sleeping. 

The prior Monday my dad started experiencing severe vertigo. He was unable to drive himself, walk very far without leaning on the walls or others for support, or even stay upright for long. He was spending most of his days in bed sleeping. He went to an urgent care facility and was given an antibiotic and something for the vertigo. They assumed it was a sinus or ear infection. When he wasn't improving he called a few days later. They told him they wanted him to finish his antibiotic before being seen again. 

By Benny's party on Saturday dad still wasn't feeling any better. He came to the party but spent most of the time sitting or laying on the couch in the corner. He was super low energy and just looked awful. He said he was so nauseous from the vertigo that he couldn't eat much. With everyone's urging, his girlfriend took him to the ER after that party. 

As we were sitting on the couch spending the last few minutes with my sister, car packed full of stuff, we got a call saying they found out that my dad had had a stroke. It was then that we knew we were staying another night. 

The following morning we went to visit dad at the hospital. He seemed to be doing better and said the vertigo had improved. With lots of further testing in the following days they were able to find a small blockage in his cerebellum (the part of your brain responsible for balance and coordination). He was given something to break up the clot and was able to go home Tuesday night.  

Dad has a lot of follow up appointments including an ENT because they found a small mass on his thyroid. We're all hoping this serves as a wakeup call and that he starts to make choices to get healthier. He seems to be in denial now, but I just hope he realizes how lucky he was. A blood clot can be extremely devastating or even fatal. The fact that he had one and is now seemly fine really is lucky. 

I'm just so glad that my dad is okay. 

Overwhelmed

Last weekend we traveled to Albany to see my sister, dad, and other family. We left Saturday morning and stayed until after dinner on Sunday night. To say the trip was stressful is an understatement. The girls were great in the car, but Clara woke up with a fever and runny nose on Sunday morning. She was super cranky and the pacis made more of an appearance than normal. 

We stayed with my sister. While the sleeping arrangements were better this time, it was still extremely difficult to stay there. My sister and BiL heat their house with a wood stove. They keep it at least 85 degrees all the time. The space is small and cluttered and they don't pick up after themselves. The TV is constantly on (in fact 2 TV's are constantly on right next to each other). My nephew who is 2 years old isn't on any kind of schedule or routine and it was hard to watch. I didn't see them sit down with him for any meals minus the one we went out for. He really only sat for a minute or two and then ran around the restaurant the rest of the time. Otherwise, he grazed on candy and junk food, didn't take any naps, and went to bed around 10 pm. 

Traveling alone is stressful, but having to stay at my sister's house and Clara getting sick made it really tough. We went to dinner on Sunday night and there were about 25 people there. These people are practically strangers to the girls and they were definitely a little overwhelmed. There were dogs in the house wresting and it was really loud. We went from one chaotic environment to another. 

We were so grateful to be home but anticipated a bad night with Clara since she hadn't been feeling well. When we were at dinner she felt so warm despite being dosed with Tylenol.

Well, it's now Wednesday and Clara seems to be feeling much better. Unfortunately, Lucy now has the same thing. Monday and Tuesday were really tough with the girls and they were so cranky and both wanted me. There was so much whining and I thought I was going to lose it. At one point yesterday I had to put them both in their cribs and let them cry while I took a break. I finally got a little break today as my mom watched the girls while I left for a few hours. I came home to a hysterical, snotty, drooly Lucy and felt a little guilty. Luckily she snuggled into me and calmed right down. 

On days like this I think about how things are going to be with a baby added to the mix. I can't help but feel extremely overwhelmed and scared. I joked we will all have to live in a bubble because I won't be able to to handle sick toddlers and a baby. I'm not sure how I'm going to handle healthy toddlers and a baby, haha. 

I'm hoping Lucy starts to feel better soon so that we are all healthy for vacation next week. 

CD1?!

Yesterday I woke up to a unpleasant surprise. I thought for sure since I was still nursing at night I wouldn't get my period. Pair that with PCOS and irregular cycles to begin you and you can imagine my surprise. As much as I don't welcome it back, I've had a long break. This is my first period since December 2012. Crazy, huh? 

I've been taking metformin since about 8 weeks post partum. I've been slowly increasing my dosage as that stuff can be rough on the GI system. This week I started my dose at 2000 mg. I don't think this is what brought my period on. 

Don't get the wrong impression when I put CD 1 as a post title. It doesn't mean we are trying to get pregnant. I'm not on birth control but I also didn't think I was ovulating. I guess I should start paying closer attention. We also aren't having much sex to be completely honest. 

My sister came out Tuesday night for the night with my nephew Benny. Yesterday we went to the zoo with the babies and by the time I got home I had a horrible headache. Shortly after it turned into a migraine. 

Since having the girls I've gotten 2 really bad migraines. I'm debating going to my primary about it because I literally can't function when it happens. Thank god for a great and capable husband. Anyone have experience with migraines? Any tips or advice?

Visiting

Last weekend was the first time we traveled with the girls. We went to Albany to visit my dad and sister and celebrate Christmas with them. The drive was a little over 3 hours each way. 

On Friday during the day my in-laws came over to visit with the girls. This allowed me to do laundry and get most everything packed while they watched them. After they left my mom stopped by briefly, allowing me to take a shower before W got home. I fed the girls around 4:00 and pumped while W packed the car. 

The drive out was great. The girls slept until about 7:30 when we pulled over and woke them up to feed them. I was able to use my double nursing pillow in the front seat and tandem nurse at a rest area in the front seat of the car. Yay for our giant SUV. 

The weekend went pretty well. On Saturday afternoon we went to my step-mom's house to hang out and eventually have dinner. My step-sister, her boyfriend, and their combined 3 kids out of 5 came over. At that point things got pretty chaotic. About mid-way through dinner the girls decided they wanted to eat. Since Clara was awake and crying first I figured I'd nurse her first and then do Lucy after. Feeding one at a time is much lower profile and its what i usially do when I am out. I tried at the table first but it was just too much so I went to the computer room. Clara did great, but Lucy woke up mid-way through and also wanted to eat. I didn't bring the pillow or bottles so W tried to hold her off a bit. 

I guess with all the chaos this made her upset. When it finally came time for her to ear she was just screaming when I tried to get her to. This lasted over an hour of calming her down and then trying again to get her to eat. Finally she did, but it was super stressful getting her to that point. I know W only wanted to help, but he definitely added more stress to the situation. 

Most of the other feedings this weekend went well. I learned there are times when it's better to draw attention to tandem nursing than hold off your daughter from eating amid chaos. 

On Sunday my sister's house was like grand central station. My mom, step-dad, and brother stopped by first on their way back from Massachusetts. Later my dad and other step sister stopped by, followed by my sister's in laws, and then some of her friends also came by. It was nice that everyone got to see the girls, but it was super busy. 

I also got to spend a lot of time with my nephew. Baby proofing is not my sisters forte. He was into everything! At 10 months he's crawling everywhere. He took quite a few independent steps as well. My sister doesn't really have him on a schedule so he's up around 8 or 9 am, and then doesn't go to sleep until about 10 pm. It's exhausting just watching him. He was so good with the girls. When he first saw them he spontaneously gave them hugs. It was so sweet. He's so cute and turns into a total ham when the camera comes out. He really liked the activity table I bought him for Christmas but I think he also thought it was a walker as he pushed it around the whole house. It's hard to believe how much the girls are going to be doing in a few months. I'm happy to stick with smiling and cooing for now. I'm not ready for mobile babies. 

We left Sunday evening around 4 and got home about 8:30. The drive home was pretty good. For about the last half hour Lucy decided she had enough of her car seat and complained, not cried, until we got home. It's so interesting to me that they are really starting to differentiate their cries. 

Overall, our first weekend away was hugely successful. The girls slept great in a foreign environment, traveled well in the car, and handled all the many people like champs (for the most part.) 

Traveling with babies is exhausting. Everything is so much more work when you are out of your home environment. It was a real reminder of exactly how exhausting infant twins are. As tiring as it was, I wouldn't change it for the world. 

Easter and Graduation

We had our last appointment with Dr. Br.averman this past Monday. 

We left Friday evening and spent the weekend with my sister K in Albany. She and I dyed Easter eggs Saturday while the boys hung out. We all took a long walk with little Ben strapped to W's chest in a carrier (he really wanted to carry him) in the beautiful sunshine.

On Saturday afternoon we met my Dad and his gf at a sports bar to watch the NCAA basketball game. Syracuse played Marquette. We were rooting for Syracuse and my Dad was rooting for Marquette since this is his alma mater. W had a good time egging on my dad when Syracuse won. Baby Ben came as well and slept the entire time.

Sunday morning I woke up to find that my sister hid all the Easter eggs for me and W to find. I hid them last year, but since she has baby Ben she was up first and hid them. I had gotten a bunch of candy and put together easter baskets for K, my BiL D, and W. K cooked a delicious breakfast. My Dad, and my BiL's parents came over for dinner on Sunday night and we had a pretty delicious feast.

Baby Ben wearing the adorable hat I bought him

I spent a lot of time over the weekend snuggling with little Ben and thinking about how it's going to be with 2 little ones. K and I gave him a bath and he loved it. He's a pretty easy-going little guy (so far) and still super cute. He's really tiny and loves to be held and snuggled. He's getting more alert and starting to look around more. We saw him roll over from his belly to his back once. It was pretty impressive since he's only 5 weeks old.

On Sunday night we headed down to our "second home" AKA our friends apartment in Queens. We got in pretty late and had to do my shots on the road. I got a little annoyed with W when he left the car door open when my pants were down, showing off my lovely butt to anyone who wanted to look. The worst part was I yelled at him to shut the door more quickly and he didn't hear me so opened the door back up to once again display my butt. 

Monday morning we got up, got ready, and headed out for a breakfast of delicious NYC bagels. We arrived just in time and I wrapped up the little gift we brought (2 bottles of Finger Lakes wine) for Dr. B in the car.

We didn't wait too long to be called back but waited for quite a bit once we were in the room. I was so disappointed when the nurse told me that "wandy" wanted to see me again. They had me undress from the waist down and we waited and waited. It was getting hot and my legs and butt were sticking to the paper on the table, but eventually Dr. B came in. He wasn't in his usual super sarcastic mood, but it was also Monday morning after a holiday weekend.

He put "wandy" in and neither W or I saw anything right away. This worried me a little because I expected them to immediately come into view. Well, he moved "wandy" a little and there they were. He hovered over one of them to try to find a heartbeat. He waited about 10 seconds and then turned the volume up. Still nothing. He was looking at the screen making some confused/focused face (or what it seemed like to me) and I started to panic. My heart was beating so fast and we still didn't hear any little heartbeat. I looked at W with a look of terror. Finally I just asked him, "Is there a heartbeat?" He apologized and said that yes, but that the computer took a minute to really pick it up. He said he turned it up so we could hear it. Then, we heard that amazing sound and I was so relieved.

Both babies looked great and are starting to measure a bit different. The ultrasound tech told me they would at my last appointment. Baby A (the baby on the bottom) was measuring about 4 days ahead at 12w3d. He/she really looked like it wanted to take a cozy little nap. Its heartbeat was something like 166. Baby B was once again our mover and shaker. That baby measured right on target at 11w6d. It had a heartbeat of 178. It was flailing its little arms and legs and moving around quite a bit. W was so happy to see them moving. He loves the photos. He keeps looking at them and smiling.

As Dr. B started to remove "wandy" I asked if we were going to get any pictures. He said he knew there was something he forgot, and went back to take a few.

Baby B waving

I love this picture of their little heads. Baby B was snuggled in too deep to get a good pic of them together. 

Baby A

Babies looking like aliens

Dr. B said he definitely didn't need to see us again and asked if we had any questions. I asked about all of my meds. I was instructed to stop PIO shots, Neupogen shots, and Estrogen patches (SOOO happy!!!) When I asked about Lovenox he looked back through my chart and said he would like to see me stay on it throughout the pregnancy but reduced from twice to once/day. This is mainly due to the fact that I have Leiden Factor V. He told me Metformin should be something I continue through pregnancy and beyond since I have a metabolic disorder, PCOS. He said to take baby aspirin throughout pregnancy and "until the day before". I think W and I were both a little confused so didn't really ask. He then told us we were supposed to ask "until the day before what?" He told us the day before I die. I said I may not have warning, but if I'm given 24 hours to live that I will certainly stop. He joked that I will be celebrating when they give me 24 hours to live because that means I can stop my baby aspirin.

We gave him his gift and card and thanked him again. I had wanted to give him a hug but didn't think that would be a good idea since I was naked from the waist down. I had also wanted to get my picture taken with him, but again for the same reason I couldn't. Oh well.

W hummed the graduation song as we walked to our car, super happy and amazed. We grabbed all of my meds I would no longer use and brought them back into the office to donate them. The office gave us a lot of donated meds while I was doing my IVF cycle so I was happy to return the favor.

We headed into NYC for an amazing day with beautiful weather. We did a lot of walking and didn't do anything super special, but had a great day. It was 62 degrees and sunny, the warmest we have felt since early fall. We ate some delicious pizza and enjoyed the sights. It really was a perfect day.

Now that I am done with Dr. B I feel a little lost. I have to call my ob's office and schedule my next appointment. We have decided to skip the NT scan since I've had so many extra ultrasounds. I'm guessing I won't need to be seen for quite a few weeks.

W and his mother are both dying to tell the world, but I don't think I'm there yet. W is pushing for next week since we will be 13 weeks, but I'm not sure. I have a little belly but it's not hugely noticeable. I'm still fitting into my jeans and wearing my regular clothes. My pants can no longer travel through the dryer, but if I let them air dry they still fit fine. I guess I just need to make the adjustment to no longer going to/needing a fertility doctor and clinic. It might take a little time. It's all I've known up until now.

We are so excited about having twins and talk about the babies all the time. The truth is though, I am in complete denial that it's happening inside my body. I can't even begin to wrap my head around the fact that I have 2 babies growing inside of me right now. Maybe when I begin to feel them move it will seem more real but for now it might as well be happening in someone else's body. 

Nephew Love and 8 Week Ultrasound

I spent all of last weekend snuggling with my little nephew as much as possible. He is one of the most adorable little things I've ever seen, and it was so great to spend the whole weekend with him. He has SO much hair, is super mellow, and loves to eat. He really looks just like my sister with my BiL's ears. He is such a sweet little guy and I already miss him so much.

My sister and BiL are doing amazing. They are both so relaxed and happy. I took a ton of pictures of Ben and spent a lot of time caring for him. I certainly didn't get up in the middle of the night with him, but I spent both mornings with him while my sister slept for quite a few hours. She's pumping and supplementing with formula so I was able to care for him while she slept. W changed a few diapers and I had to laugh that Ben decided to pee while he was changing him and then also decided he wasn't done pooping. Quite the first diaper of Ben's to change for W. Little Ben has a ton of head strength and would pick his whole head up and look around. It really surprised me at first since he was under 2 weeks old. My sister and I gave him a bath and he loved it. He just looked around, completely content. I really wish they lived closer and I could see him more. I love that little guy so much.

My sister also gave me about 6 pairs of maternity pants. We are really close in size and I'm glad I won't be buying any for a while. I'm still fitting into my jeans so I probably won't need them for a little bit. It's really nice to have them though. 

On Sunday night we headed down to NYC to stay for the night before our Monday morning ultrasound with Dr. Br.averman. Everything went really well and both babies looked great. They both measured 7w6d and I was technically 8w. They more than doubled in a little under a week. I asked him how they label the babies A and B and he said there's no rhyme or reason to it. It's not always consistent. One baby's heartbeat was 156 and the other was 166. They still kinda looked like blobs, but are starting to look a little more human-like. Dr. B made some jokes, of course, and asked us if it was sinking in yet. He said it will seem more real when we leave Babies 'R Us with double the bill. 

The blood flow to my uterus was the same, but blood flow to both babies looked great. He said he wanted to see us again around week 10 or 12, so we scheduled for week 12. He wanted me to get in to see an OB so I finally called and got an appointment for next Thursday. 

These babies are really starting to kick my butt. I'm so nauseous and my appetite has disappeared. A week or two ago I would feel a little queasy, but once I ate would feel fine. The nausea has stepped it up quite a bit the past few days. Being around little Ben was a great distraction and I felt mostly OK there. Since then it's been pretty rough. I don't want to eat and feel pretty sick most of the time. It's really making work a challenge. I'm thinking of emailing one of the nurses at Dr. B's and asking for an anti-nausea drug. Other than the nausea, I'm still really exhausted and sleep a few hours every afternoon. Everything else is pretty much the same. I do get a strange pain/tingling sensation in my boobs when I get up after lying down for a while. I feel like my belly is bulging a little more in the middle, but I doubt it's noticeable to anyone else. W can see it but he's the only one who sees me with my clothes off : ) 

The babies are about .63 inches. They are starting to lose their little tails and are growing little webbed fingers and toes. Neural pathways are beginning to form in their brains and they are starting to spontaneously move. 

We got to tell a bunch of people about the twins this past weekend. Although my sister had asked, I didn't really want to tell her over the phone so waited. I showed her the picture and she immediately knew what it was. We then went out to lunch while W stayed home with little Ben. We talked about it a bunch over lunch and she was really excited for us. Later that day we showed my BiL the pic and he also knew immediately what it meant. He was excited and scared for us. We then all discussed how to pick up a newborn with one arm. He put Ben down on the floor and picked him up with one arm. We told him to hold the cat in one arm (representing another baby) and try to do it again. We all had a good laugh over his demonstration. 

We also told my step-mom. It was nice to sit around the dinner table and talk openly with 4 other people who knew. My dad is really excited for us. We still haven't told my mom because she can't keep her mouth shut. She, my step-dad, and brother are in Costa Rica until June so we have to figure out when/how we will tell them. She was in town last week for the baby but it just seemed too early to tell her. 

It was such a great weekend between all of the time with Ben and our ultrasound.

 Can anyone tell me what to expect at my first OB appointment? Will they do an ultrasound? I know I can look this up some of this information online, but would also like to hear from others what their experience was. Thanks!

Aunt Liz

My sister had her baby yesterday. His name is Benjamin Gabriel and he's absolutely adorable. We are all joking that he needs a haircut already. He was 7.5 pounds and 20 1/2 inches. 

She was induced Tuesday morning starting at 7 AM. By 3 in the afternoon she was at 4 cm and they gave her an epidural. She then told me she stalled out at 4-5 cm for about 6 hours. I checked my phone each time I got up to use the bathroom and there was still no word all night. I texted around 7 AM and my BiL said she was pushing. She pushed for 2 1/2 hours without anything happening. She ended up having a c section around 9:45 AM. I can't imagine going through 26 hours of labor and then ending up with a c section. She seemed happy with it all in the end. Last night she told me she was more sore from all the pushing than she was from her incision. 

W and I are not planning to go out to see them until next weekend. I'm sad I'm not there to see him, but I'm trying to wait until the dust settles and I am giving them a chance to be home for a little bit before we go. I really can't wait to meet him. I'm amazed by how much he looks like both of them. I hope he'll be a good big cousin. 

Baby Shower and Progress

My sister's baby shower is over and I'm so glad! I pretty much said good-bye to my weekend as it was entirely centered around the shower. It was a stressful weekend that I'm glad to have behind me. 

On Friday night my friend H surprised me with a text saying she made me a banner for the shower. I had ordered one off of Et.sy, but the seller backed out at the last minute saying it wouldn't be ready in time to ship. I didn't read the listing all that well, so it was partially my fault as well. So, Saturday morning we swung by my friend's house and picked up the banner. She did a really awesome job with it and I got to play with her French bulldog puppy. I wish I took a better picture of the banner but it was hard with the window behind it. 

W and I headed out to Al.bany on Saturday morning in separate cars. Since my mom was not feeling very well psychologically and emotionally, she hitched a ride with me. I got to listen to her talk my ear off for the three hour drive out, lucky me! Saturday was spent driving, chopping and cooking food, decorating the house, and shopping for the things my mom failed to get. It was super stressful and I felt like I didn't stop all day.

Sunday morning we had to run back over to the house to drop off drinks and do some last minute preparing. The shower started at 1:00 and people showed up early! I guess I always show up at least ten minutes late to parties, but not these ladies. We rushed to get everything finished and the party was underway.

Punch bunch and mimosa bowl

My sister's mother in law loves her jell-o molds!

Cocoa cone favors. K's friend made the favors and my friend H helped me make the tags. 

The quilt I made her to match the nursery

My mom wasn't helpful at all during the shower and with preparation, and it almost just made things more difficult. She was supposed to be in charge of the drinks but did nothing other that give us money for them. Mid-way through the party everyone starting freaking out about coffee so I had to leave and go buy some.

My Mom has been diagnosed as bi-polar. She gets into "moods" where she is really bad and it just happened that this weekend she was in one of her moods. She, my step-father, and brother are all going to Costa Rica in a week to stay for a sabbatical semester for my step-dad's work. My mom is totally freaked out about it. Originally, she was going to come home for the birth of her grandson, but now she is thinking she won't be able to travel by herself. It looks like I am going to have to help more when K has the baby. I'm pretty sure I convinced her this weekend to let me be in the room for the birth. I want to be there to help and support her, but also to witness the birth of my little nephew. 

My sister K got a ton of really great presents and survived the shower. Her in-law's family and friends are super intense. It was really nice to spend time with her this weekend and on Sunday night, as just the two of us sat on the couch talking, I got to feel little kicks from my nephew. K doesn't really like anyone touching her belly so it was nice that she was inviting me to do it. I hadn't seen her since Thanksgiving and it was really nice to spend some time together. I really wish we lived closer. 

My sister was very grateful for everything W and I did for the shower and repeatedly thanked us. She hung the banner in the baby's room and loves the quilt so much. I'm really glad I didn't give her any sneak peaks while I was making it. 

I'm Going to be an Aunt to....

A little boy!! That's right, my sister has a teeny-tiny penis growing inside her right now. I had boy feelings all morning about it and then missed 2 calls from her while I was in a therapy session. Since she didn't leave a message I figured I was probably right. She actually is pretty excited and sounded happy. He is going to be one crazy little guy, but I can't wait to meet him! February is a long way away...

Good thing it's a boy too because when I quickly laid a few pieces of the quilt together it had boy written all over it. I picked green and blue because I know my sister likes blue but doesn't like orange or yellow. I made lots more progress today on it. 

W said the fact that they are having a boy immediately gave him hope that we will get our little one soon. He wasn't sure why, but he suddenly got a dose of confidence about everything tonight. Maybe it's because my sister and I both like the same girl name. Maybe because it means we may still get to use the name. 

I got my list of meds for this cycle and there are no big surprises. I will be on dexamethasone which I haven't used in a while. My clinic stopped prescribing it to patients. The dose is also higher than I previously used. I'm a little nervous about starting at a higher dose for the Gonal-F than previously, but I will trust their judgement. High estrogen has always been my problem so we will so how that all goes. I guess if we are using Lupron and freezing everything that is less of a worry. 

I have all the Menopur I need and think I can buy a Gonal-F pen off of a friend for cheaper than at the pharmacy. It's still definitely not cheap though : ( I need to refill the dexamethasone and get another dose or two of Ganirelix and then I should be all set. 

It was pretty cool here today. It wasn't a nice fall cool where you can wear a few layers and be comfortable. Instead, it was a much colder version where I felt like I needed to be sipping hot coffee all day. Our house was pretty chilly tonight and the hubs was strongly resisting turning on the heat. I guess we should probably take the A.C unit out of the bedroom window first.