Overwhelmed

Last weekend we traveled to Albany to see my sister, dad, and other family. We left Saturday morning and stayed until after dinner on Sunday night. To say the trip was stressful is an understatement. The girls were great in the car, but Clara woke up with a fever and runny nose on Sunday morning. She was super cranky and the pacis made more of an appearance than normal. 

We stayed with my sister. While the sleeping arrangements were better this time, it was still extremely difficult to stay there. My sister and BiL heat their house with a wood stove. They keep it at least 85 degrees all the time. The space is small and cluttered and they don't pick up after themselves. The TV is constantly on (in fact 2 TV's are constantly on right next to each other). My nephew who is 2 years old isn't on any kind of schedule or routine and it was hard to watch. I didn't see them sit down with him for any meals minus the one we went out for. He really only sat for a minute or two and then ran around the restaurant the rest of the time. Otherwise, he grazed on candy and junk food, didn't take any naps, and went to bed around 10 pm. 

Traveling alone is stressful, but having to stay at my sister's house and Clara getting sick made it really tough. We went to dinner on Sunday night and there were about 25 people there. These people are practically strangers to the girls and they were definitely a little overwhelmed. There were dogs in the house wresting and it was really loud. We went from one chaotic environment to another. 

We were so grateful to be home but anticipated a bad night with Clara since she hadn't been feeling well. When we were at dinner she felt so warm despite being dosed with Tylenol.

Well, it's now Wednesday and Clara seems to be feeling much better. Unfortunately, Lucy now has the same thing. Monday and Tuesday were really tough with the girls and they were so cranky and both wanted me. There was so much whining and I thought I was going to lose it. At one point yesterday I had to put them both in their cribs and let them cry while I took a break. I finally got a little break today as my mom watched the girls while I left for a few hours. I came home to a hysterical, snotty, drooly Lucy and felt a little guilty. Luckily she snuggled into me and calmed right down. 

On days like this I think about how things are going to be with a baby added to the mix. I can't help but feel extremely overwhelmed and scared. I joked we will all have to live in a bubble because I won't be able to to handle sick toddlers and a baby. I'm not sure how I'm going to handle healthy toddlers and a baby, haha. 

I'm hoping Lucy starts to feel better soon so that we are all healthy for vacation next week. 

It's been one week

Ok, it been more than one week, but I woke up last Friday with the Barenaked Ladies song "One Week" stuck in my head. It had been one week since we found it. I have been singing in periodically since. Here, get it stuck in your head too: One Week

Not too much to report these days, just waiting anxiously till Friday when we have our ultrasound. I am hoping for the best and my mood about it changes from day to day. Some days I feel great and have no reason to believe anything bad will happen. Other days (like today) I wake up with a terrible sinking feeling for absolutely no reason. I had a bad dream last night and was up for at least an hour unable to fall back asleep. I think this was part of my bad feelings about it all this morning. I guess also reading infertility blogs and forums makes you realize that miscarriages are all too common. I tell myself some days I need to stop reading and just relax.

I have been a little stressed about work since I am incredibly busy and exhausted as a result. I am making great money which really helps build up our savings. We are hoping to take a vacation this spring when my hubby gets a week off. I can't wait since we haven't taken a real vacation since last May in Aruba. I guess that isn't all that long, but it sure feels like it. I only took 2 days off for Christmas and am feeling like I really need a break.

Last weekend we got together with our friends who have the 6-month old baby. She is absolutely adorable and we had a great time. We witnessed a "polar bear plunge" into the finger lake Skaneateles (pronounced skinny-atlas.) It was quite the spectacle. The said the windchill was 5 degrees, yet people were jumping into the lake in their thongs. It was all for charity, but I can't see being that crazy.

I know it doesn't look sunny, but I am addicted to my sunglasses and wear them whenever there is the slightest bit of light. 

We had lunch and headed back to our place to hang with our friends and the baby. It is crazy to hear them talk about how 5 minutes of time to themselves is amazing. They had hired a babysitter a few nights before and gone on their first date since having the baby and were super excited about getting out and just being a couple again. They said the babysitter was $40 plus the cost of the date. Makes it seem much more special I guess. I know we have to enjoy our weekends of watching movies, relaxing, and being spontaneous. It is hard to appreciate it when you have it all the time.

It is so difficult not telling people our news, but I know it is for the best and we need to know everything is going well before telling people. We are planning to tell after our first trimester and should get a better idea of how far along I am on Friday. The hardest is when people ask "What's new?"

On other news I am definitely ready for a new bra since I take mine off now and have marks from it indenting into me. I am getting a little tired of the progesterone and leakage, but know it is for the best. We are thinking about investing in a larger mattress since we currently only have a full sized one. We bought it a few years ago when we had a tiny bedroom. Had we gotten anything bigger, we wouldn't have been able to get to both of our closets. We looked at some mattresses and bed frames this weekend and found some great deals so we will probably get one some time soon. I feel like things aren't too interesting these days so I apologize if I just bored you with my mattress talk. I am still hearing One Week in my head, how about you?