10 Months Old?!

Another month has passed and my girls are another month closer to a year old. It's so crazy they will be a year old so soon. This month we attended our first music class, swam in freezing Skan lake, rode on the boat for the first time, and celebrated Father's Day with W. 

We went to the pediatrician and found out that Clara was 15.3 and Lucy was 12.8. The gap had widened some between them, but Lucy had also had a rough month with her eating. She's doing better now but it's seems to be an on and off battle. We have good times and bad times and there's never really any clear explanation as to why. For some reason Clara got so upset at the ped and didn't calm down until we were in the car. We still don't know what got her so upset, but carrying her out undressed and screaming wasn't fun.  

Lucy- You are much happier these days. You are nursing well and eating new foods all the time. Backing off from purees has made you a much happier baby. You love feeding yourself and happily try new things. When we tried to take the cushion out of your high chair you quickly figured out how to recline with one foot on the tray. Although funny, we decided to put the cushion back to encourage you to sit the right way in your seat. This month you worked hard on perfecting your cheesy smile. You would smile as big as possible and squint your eyes really hard. It's so funny! I don't think I captured the perfect picture of it, but it really was cute. Sleep has been a challenge with you as you still want to eat at least once a night. I don't mind feeding you but wish you would sleep better in your own bed. You spend some time in our bed most nights, but we are all less stressed and get more sleep that way. For now it works for us. You've really started to like Clara more and smile and play with her. It's so sweet! This month you started waving and dancing to music from time to time. You love to stand up and can pull to stand from seated with our hands. You're happy on your tummy and have crawled backwards a few times. You've started to snuggle with a lovey for naps and bedtime and still love your paci. You fall asleep great for naps but bed time can be a challenge. You are getting so much better with strangers but still love your mama. You are babbling a ton and smiling and laughing all the time. You recognize a few words and signs but haven't tried to use any yet. You are so sweet and lovable and I love being your mama.

Daddy stopped and brought us home gifts from MacKenzie Childs

Getting adjusted at the chiropractor

Cheesy smile perfected!

Big girl loves standing in her sister's crib

Sweet rain boots!

Crazy girl!

 

Lounging in my high chair with my foot on the tray

Clara- You are such a silly little clown. You make me laugh and smile every day at your antics. You have been trying all different pitches lately and can get pretty high. You scream, squeal, groan, grunt, babble, and giggle constantly as you seem to have a lot to say. You try to sing along to music, even if it's at a funeral and you add in your chorus as loud as possible. You've starting efficiently rolling to get places and have even transitioned out of sitting to roll. You're super smiley and social with everyone and have been into throwing your head upside down a lot. You still love to eat and are expanding what you like with more solid foods. You go to sleep so easily and have taken to an owl lovey. You sleep 11-12 hours every night. You've gotten really into your paci and demand equal treatment by whining when your sister gets something you don't. You steal toys, food, and pacis from Lucy at every chance and love to have a paci in your mouth and one in your hand. You still don't love tummy time and aren't showing too many signs of crawling. You can pull to stand from a seated position by pulling on our hands. You recognize a few signs and words and you may have done the sign for milk the other night before bed. It sure did seem intentional. You love your bath but hate getting changed and dressed and cry almost every time. You are easy going but dramatic when you feel it's necessary. You are 15 pounds now and are such a big girl. I can't believe how much you've grown and changed from the 4 pound preemie you were 10 months ago! 

Just playing

Sweet boots!

Showing off her new neckalace

Soooo cute!

Modeling her dress mommy made 

Someone got a Cuse hat

We've started thinking about and planning for their first birthday party. It's definitely worth celebrating that we survived our first year with these girls.

Twin play date! Jack on the end had a twin who's watching over in heaven

We visited the NICU and saw our favorite nurse/lactation consultant 

Hanging with mommy

Nursing one baby while comforting the other

Hi mama!

Wearing some sweet boots

Frick & Frack

Grandpa came to visit!

Trying out our new swings at the lake

First boat ride

Not impressed by their life jackets

Riding like big girls in the shopping cart

This is what tandem nursing in the back seat looks like

Wearing the dresses mommy made

Everyone is full and happy

Cuse hats with Daddy

Strawberry picking with friends

Daddy didn't get to pick too many berries

Fail

I can't help but feel like a giant failure when it comes to Lucy and sleep. 

As I've said before, Clara goes to sleep on her own every night and sleeps 11-12 hours. Maybe 1 in 5 nights she'll need her paci, but she rolls right over and falls back to sleep. 

Lucy, on the other hand, is turning into a night time nightmare. Last night she went down fine around 7. Around 10 she woke up crying so I nursed her. She nursed well but then refused to let me put her down in her crib without screaming. W tried rocking her and putting her down and that didn't work either. She was screaming as if she was in pain so I tried to lay down with her. This didn't help either. I tried Morrin, I tried nursing again and she ate. With a full tummy she again refused to go to sleep. Eventually she fell asleep in our bed, but that is so far from idea. 

She woke at 5:30 am and nursed but has refused to nurse since. It's 3:30 in the afternoon. 

At the pediatrician yesterday she only weighed 12.8. This was an 11 ounce gain in 6 weeks. Although the ped didn't say much, I know this is not a great gain. When I asked him about the sleeping he said she should be sleeping through the night. He said I shouldn't feed her at night and should let her cry. That she'll figure out real soon that waking up and crying at night doesn't get her anything. He said she'd make up for those feedings during the day. 

I think I'd be fine with letting her cry except for the weight gain issues. The night feedings are often when she eats best because she's the most relaxed. She's 10 months old and only weighs 12 and a half pounds! 

So basically I'm feeling like a giant failure. I tried to problem solve and make changes but it hasn't solved our issues. I don't know what to do or who to ask for help in figuring out where to go from here. Feeling super defeated...

Dehydrator

When the girls were just eating purees I made them myself. Since switching over to BLW we have a lot of leftover purees in the freezer. I also noticed the girls really lovs snack type foods like mum mum crackers, puffs, and dehydrated fruit. So, in an effort to reduce to amount of processed foods I'm giving the girls I purchased a food dehydrator. Ideally I'll figure out how to make some kind of puff substitute, but for now I plan to make different fruit (and maybe veggie) snacks for them. 

Last night was my first go at it. I made apples (that came out delicious and amazing!) and I made an experimental snack. I combined unsweetened vanilla coconut yogurt with mango puree and a little honey. I put this mixture in a sandwich bag and cut off the tip. I then put little drops onto wax paper on the tray. After about 4 hours I checked. The drops were shriveled and stuck to the paper so I thought it was a bust. Well, come to find out, the little drops peeled away easily this morning. The girls tried them and loved them. The texture and taste is a lot like fruit leather. I would say they were a success! 

Has anyone else used a dehydrator? Any recipe ideas? 

Sleep Routines

For a few months we've been on the same routine/schedule. The girls typically get up and then eat somewhere around 7 am. From there we were doing an eat, play, sleep schedule with them eating every 3 hours. This meant they were also napping 3 times a day for about an hour each time.  Around 7 pm we would start our bedtime routine that included a bath, book, and a feeding before going down. It had been going well until about a week and a half ago when Lucy decided she was going to fight instead of going to bed. 

Some nights for the last feeding she'd nurse well, and other nights she'd refuse altogether. We tried bottles and that seemed to work some, but she was only taking a little bit and then falling asleep. Some nights she wouldn't go to sleep at all. We tried letting her cry but that quickly escalated. I'm just not the CIO type, so that wasn't going to work for us. It seemed she just wasn't tired. This made me reevaluate our schedule and make some necessary tweaks. 

They girls still get up around 7 and eat. They still get solids around 8 and go down for their morning nap around 9:00. They still eat around 10:30. This is where things have changed. After they get up from their morning nap I keep them up 3 hours, feed them, and then put them down for their only afternoon nap that I pray is decent in length. Yesterday they napped an hour and a half and were up around 2:45. From that point on the idea is to keep them up until bedtime. 

With this new routine Lucy is now going to bed at the regular time. There was one day they fell asleep early and didn't nap long so I put them down for a short afternoon nap. This resulted in Lucy not going to bed until around 9 pm. 

So, to sum things up the biggest change is the middle of the day. From when they first wake up they're up 2 hours before their first nap. When they wake up from their morning nap they are up for 3 hours until their next nap. After their afternoon nap we try to keep them up for 4 hours before bedtime. So far it's working much better, although there's definitely been more crankiness with the increased awake time. 

Twin Moment

A funny conversation in bed the other morning: 

Me: W, take your baby.

W: (grabs Lucy)

Me: No, your other baby. 

W: You're going to have to be more specific. 

Pepper

We have 3 pets; 2 dogs and a cat. We got a puppy in the spring of 2007 when we lived in the cabin behind my parent's house. At the time, they also had a dog who was about 2 years old named Pepper. Pepper was quite depressed as they were never around and he was lonely. He spent a lot of time barking at the neighbor's dog. 

Well, Pepper loved our puppy Togie so much! He came to our house all the time and they loved playing. In the fall of 2007 my mom and step-dad traveled to China to adopt my little brother. During the 3 weeks they were there Pepper stayed with us.

When my parents got home they quickly found out that my brother was terrified of dogs. So, Pepper moved in. He was so much happier with us and his buddy Togie. No plan was ever made for him to go back to their house and we embraced our second dog with the chant "Two dogs are better than 1!" 

In 2010 we bought a house. When we moved we brought Pepper with us. He was so happy and never seemed to want to go back to live with my mom. She agreed he was happy and better behaved/trained with us. 

Pepper is my shadow. If I'm upstairs, he comes upstairs. He keeps a close eye on me and seems to always know where I am. Peppee is the sweetest dog and was the first to really come around to the girls. Everyone who comes over loves him as he's not your typical dog. 

A few weeks ago we noticed a bump on Pepper's hip. Hoping it would go away we didn't rush him to the vet. We finally got him in yesterday and did not receive good news. The vet thinks the bump is cancer. He did not suggest doing anything and said could could live a couple months or years, there's no way to know. 

So, I'm trying to enjoy my buddy Pepper and spoil him every way I can (he ate my pizza crust next to me on the couch last night). I'm really sad but trying not to let him know that because he is very sensitive. I know we've given him a great life, but I'm having a hard time picturing life without my shadow. 

Purees vs Baby Led Weaning

Before the girls were here I was convinced I wanted to do BLW. I loved the idea and had read the book to fully understand how it worked. 

Then around 5 months we had all the weight gain issues with Lucy and I felt pressure from the GI doctor and our pediatrician to feed them purees with rice cereal. 

So, we started purees. At first Lucy wouldn't even open her mouth for the spoon and didn't enjoy it at all. Then she started to get into it. 

We had a few months where both girls are purees relatively well. It was always a challenge to get Lucy to open her mouth and take more than a little bit, but I felt like I had to get additional calories into her. During these months her nursing fluctuated between horrible and okay. We'd have occasional great feedings, but it wasn't the norm. Also, both girls became horribly constipated. 

About 2 weeks ago Lucy learned how to spit her food. Things quickly turned into  her spitting all of her food right back at us. It was frustrating to say the least. 

So, we decided to step back from the purees and introduce more solid foods and allow her to finger feed. Well, she's thrilled. She has been doing so well and has devoured halibut, BBQ chicken, black beans, fruit, puffs, noodles, veggies, crackers, etc. it's so nice to see her so happy and the nursing has been going great. 

Clara, on the other hand, isn't thrilled about BLW. She still wants to be fed by me but wants the whole foods. 

I'm still occasionally trying to spoon feed them. They'll both willingly eat yogurt but I'm really trying not to force the issue. It's so interesting how each child is so different regardless of parenting. It makes  you realize there are no right or wrong answers when it comes to parenting, just what works for each individual child. 

Father's Day

Today Lucy, Clara, and I are spoiling W. We got him a picture frame with super cute pictures of the girls spelling "dad", some new sneakers, and some gym shorts. 

I feel so lucky that we get the celebrate this day. I also think of how hard days like this were for us not that long ago. If you are still in the trenches, I'm thinking of you and hoping you get to celebrate this day in true fashion soon 

9 Months!!

I can't believe we are 3/4 of the way to the girls turning 1 year old! Time is really flying and they are getting so big and doing so much more. Just the other day I was nursing Clara and suddenly she no longer felt like my little baby anymore. She fills my entire lap with appendages hanging out on all sides.

The sitting up is consistent and great. The no longer need pillows behind them in case they fall because they can sit for so long. Life is so much easier when you can put your baby down sitting rather than having to lay them on the floor all the time. It makes the little things that much easier. The girls love taking a bath together and they sit and splash and have such a great time. Occasionally Clara thinks it's funny to throw herself back without any regard to safety, but we are getting better about predicting when that will happen.

Lucy- You are getting so much more social with others and are really recognizing family members. You are starting to expand and include more people who consistently get smiles from you. You are so perceptive and are always finding new things in your environment either by looking or grabbing. You go down so easy for naps and bedtime, but you are a light sleeper. You wake easily and don't typically sleep very long stretches at night. You average hour long naps but are generally much happier when you wake up and you will chatter or babble to yourself for a bit. You're getting better at being more patient but there are still times when you need something to happen soon or else you start to lose it. You are giggling more and starting to produce more consonant sounds and we are hearing more repetitive babbling. You still love your pacifier and I'm already stressing about getting rid of it at some point soon. I struggle with the idea of taking something away from you that you love so much. You still love shopping and I think you get stir crazy when you're home for too long. You are rarely fussy when we are out running around because I think you like the change of scenery. You also love chewing on the straps of our new stroller. You enjoy your bath and the pool. You didn't love being dunked under water but you also didn't cry. You really lean forward when you sit up and it makes you look so small. You are getting longer and outgrowing lots of the 3 month clothes finally, but you are still very petite. When I saw your aunt Charlotte for your christening I remembered how petite she is. She can't weigh much more than 105 pounds. I think it's just the way you're built and that you're always going to be a petite little thing. It makes holding you so nice though because you hold yourself up so well and are so strong but also are so light. You feel like a tiny baby but look and act like a big girl. You learned how to drink from my water bottle. You enjoy experimenting with spitting your food and we try so hard not to react at all. Even though we had a few rough weeks this month I'm still so lucky to be able to watch you grow and change every day.

Swingin' and droolin'

Out for a walk in the stroller with the delicious straps

Big girl sitting up

Mama, you done peeing yet?

She loves standing 

Petting her doggie

Stylin with mama in shades

Which wubbanub does she have in her mouth?

Clara- You are such a big girl! You haven't been weighed in a while, but boy are you a load to carry. You've started to stretch your arms out, anticipating being picked up, and it's so sweet. You love the pool and even tolerated being dunked under water a few times. I shouldn't say you tolerated it because you absolutely loved it!  You have the biggest eyes that are constantly taking in the world. You smile and giggle all the time and are such a happy girl. You love eating and readily open your mouth for the spoon. You've tried a few things you didn't love (green beans and peas) but have only ever refused one meal. You are getting better about self feeding, but still miss your mouth more times than you hit it. You rake food up with your hands so this causes a lot to get stuck on your little fingers and palms. You love the pets and giggle if the dogs come close or give you kisses. You are a bit rough with the cat but he puts up with it and comes back for more every time, so I guess you guys have some unspoken deal. You are such a great sleeper and will go about 11 hours in your crib every night. You also go down easily for your naps and occasionally have to be woken up to not get too far off from your sister's schedule. Speaking of your sister, you love Lucy so much and light up when you see her or giggle if she plays with you. You tend to steal a lot of her toys as everything seems to look better in her hands. You are starting to imitate each other blowing raspberries and get so much more face to face time now that you are both sitting. This month we had to go to the pediatrician for some strange bumps on your scalp. They weren't going away so I decided to bring you in. He said it was baby acne and it was probably from my hormones since I'm still breastfeeding. We switched you from Prevacid to Lansoprazole. You love taking it and suck the entire syringe down in no time. You are doing well on this medication but continue to spit up some. I always try to pass you off to daddy as quickly as possible after feedings so you can get him instead of me. Overall, you are just such a happy and easy going baby. You are already patient and I love watching you learn and grow every month.

Just doing a little composing

Windy day

Trouble!

Getting baptized 

Such big eyes

blueberry face

Standing up

So cool

So proud of herself for figuring it out

This month the girls were baptized and we celebrated with friends and family. Both girls gained confidence and strength with their sitting up, and expanded their speech sound repertoires to include more sounds and variations. I love being their mommy and am so lucky to be able to be home with them every day. Life is good!

pile of girls

W and the girls

Out for a walk on a beautiful day

First tubby together sitting up

You're crushing me sis!

So excited about having 2 jumperoos

A play date with some friends

4 babies and 2 swings

Wearing both babies

Playing with some friends after their baptism

Memorial day at the lake

So much crinkly paper everywhere!

Improving

As the title implies, things have been improving with W. the morning I wrote my last post W and I had talked. He knew how I was feeling and promised to try harder.

Things are much better. W has been putting more effort with me and even brought me home flowers one day last week. He gave me some nice breaks this weekend and we had some great family time as well. 

Lucy has been giving us a bit of a hard time with the feeding. Last week we switched her from the Prevacid solutab (it's a tiny pill that dissolves in her mouth) to the generic liquid form. Our insurance requires the use of a mail order and they had stopped covering much of the cost of the Prevacid from the pharmacy. Due to the cost, we switched and hoped it would be no big deal. Well, Lucy despised taking the liquid. I forced it one her for 3 days and have been since paying for it. The oral aversion and oral defensiveness came back pretty badly. Cue her refusal to nurse or eat solid foods. It's not that she wasn't eating at all, it's just that even small feedings required an outrageous amount of patience. We switched her back to the solutabs on friday and things are slowly improving. I'm hoping we'll be back on track soon. She has woken up a lot at night recently and eats well during that time. It's hard to deny her at those times because I know she's hungry, but It's made for one exhausted mama, that's for sure! 

I attended a baby shower on Sunday. One of the gifts was a quilt. It was so beautiful and inspired me to look for some small projects (that do not have deadlines). I'm hoping to take a trip to the fabric store this afternoon in order to make pillowcase dresses. I'd love to start another quilt and even have an idea of what I'd like to do, but I'd hate to not finish it. I think I'll start small. 

This Thursday we are planning a triple twin play date. There will be 10 month old boys and twin girls who are 2 weeks older than my girls as well as Lucy and Clara.  Other than that, I have to get a tb test scheduled for work tomorrow and have to go to my ob/gyn on Friday for an appointment that was scheduled and then cancelled for April. I'm planning to visit the nicu with the girls on Friday after my appointment. 

 Hard to believe, but the girls will be 9 months old tomorrow!! Where is the time going?