Microblog Mondays: My Wedding Ring

Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.

When W and I talked about getting engaged, he mentioned his grandmother had something for him to use. He didn't really specify, but just let my mind wander. I noticed she wore a ring that was pretty amazing. When I asked about it I found out it wasn't her wedding ring. It also wasn't what she had for W. She had a brooch from her grandmother with a bunch of stones. He would be able to pick one of those stones to use for a ring. 

When we visited her in NJ on one trip he asked he about it and she said he needed a "yes"before she would give him a stone. Something like six months later he proposed and I, of course, said yes. We took another trip and he picked the biggest of the stones since he was the first grandson to get engaged. The stone was a .94 carat cushion cut mined diamond. We took it to a few jewelry stores and I found a setting I loved the stone in. At the same time, we also bought the wedding band as it was a set. 

I loved my ring. At one point the center stone fell out but I found it and had it reset. It wasn't ideal to have a cushion cut on a four prong setting, but I just loved the way it looked together so much. For our five year wedding anniversary W got me another band to match our wedding band, but with diamonds and sapphires alternating. Sapphires are Lucy and Clara's birthstones. Around Christmastime I had the rings all soldered together in an effort to get them to stay together and look nicer. I wasn't thrilled with the way the sapphire band lined up and I took it to the jewelry store to talk to them. They didn't have any great suggestions, but I knew I didn't want to separate the rings again. 

Sharing my rings with W's grandma Wink on our wedding day

Between the months of February to August I lost quite a bit of weight and the ring became big on my finger. I could shake my hand and it would come off. Even though I said I was going to lose it a few times, I never took it to be sized. 

The three bands together. I think this is the only photo I have of all three. The sapphire band was the five year anniversary band with sapphires for Lucy and Clara. 

The second week of August we went on vacation to the outer banks, North Carolina. On the Tuesday of our week-long trip I was rinsing off in the ocean with my friend Krista when I felt my ring slip off of my finger. I was in waist-high water and the waves were big. I just knew there was no finding it. 

When I felt it slide off and realized what happened, my heart sank and I thought to myself, that's the worst thing that could ever happen. Then I looked up and saw my three girls and husband, all safe and happy on the beach, oblivious to what had happened. I knew then it was just stuff and I had the most important things, still safe and fine. 

My friend ran and told W what happened so he ran down to me in the water. Mostly in vain, he attempted to look with me for it. Some other people on the beach came by and also helped for a bit, but I knew it was gone. I told the girls what had happened so they weren't confused or upset by the way we were all acting. I mostly held it together even though I was super sad and disappointed. 

That evening I went back at low tide to look for my ring, but didn't see any sign of it. I called that afternoon and found out we did have insurance coverage under our homeowners policy.

I know it's just "stuff", but I'm still really sad about losing my rings. Since they were all soldered together, I unfortunately lost them all. I'm also sad I lost W's family stone and that it can't be replaced. 

The insurance ended up covering the full cost of the rings minus a $1000 deductible. My initial thought was I would just get the same ring, but then I realized it would never be the same. The reason I loved and picked that ring was because of the stone we had. Without that stone it just wouldn't be the same. 

Once I decided I wouldn't get the same thing I felt overwhelmed by the choices. I found a few things I liked, but nothing I loved. Well, last week I finally found something I loved. I ordered it and am waiting for it to come it. I once again ordered a matching band and hope I love it as much as I loved my old one. 

I didn't try to replace all three rings and told W he should start saving for a ten year band ;)

The thing I love about my new ring is it reminds me of that ring that W's grandmother wore and I always admired. The ring that for a short moment I fantasized was going to be the ring W would propose to me with. 

I haven't seen that actual ring in years and heard it was taken apart after she passed away, but I'm glad a part of her will still live on in my ring since she's the one who gave us the center stone and bulk of the cost of the initial set. 

The new ring I picked. 

The new ring. Not my size so not centered. I picked the top band to go with it. 

There have been so many emotions with this experience. Extreme sadness and disappointment I lost my rings. Blaming myself for not getting them sized when I knew they were too big. Excitement at the thought of picking a new one. Overwhelmed by all of the choices.

 I'm still feeling conflicted because while I found something I love it doesn't symbolize the same things. I feel slightly better that he didn't propose with the engagement ring so there's that. But, the wedding band is what we said our vows with. It symbolized a lot and I don't feel like just buying a new one does it.

Putting the ring on my finger and saying his vows

After our vows the priest wrapped our hands and said a prayer and blessed our marriage. 

 Anyone have any good suggestions to make it as meaningful??

#MicroblogMondays: 5 years

Friday was our 5th wedding anniversary. Unfortunately it didn't go exactly as planned as W woke up with a stomach bug. He ended up taking 1 of his 2 remaining paid days off for the year. He was so sick during the day but started to feel better by the afternoon. I gave him his gift (a pen made out of wood), a card, and some homemade applesauce to try to help him feel better. 

Unfortunately it hit me that night a little too. I didn't feel anywhere near as bad as him, but I sure didn't feel great either. Luckily we hadn't cemented any plans prior to the day. 

Saturday was spend lounging around on the couch and doing nothing. On Sunday we got together with friends and enjoyed a beautiful fall day. 

I'm sure when we stood on the altar 5 years ago we had no idea what was to come; infertility, recurrent pregnancy loss, and then twins! It's been a wild ride to say the least! I'm sure it's not quite what we pictured, but I also can't picture my life any different. 

Wedding

Last weekend we attended the wedding of W's cousin. It was in NJ, about 5 hours away by car. I had no idea how much my feet would swell from just sitting in the car and it made me really glad I don't have a desk job. 

We didn't go for the "welcome dinner" on Friday night because I just knew it would be too much. I also wanted some time to spend with W over the weekend not doing anything special. 

We headed down early Saturday morning and arrived at the hotel with a few hours to spare. Since we don't have cable (just Netflix) we watched some mindless T.V and relaxed. The wedding was at 5:00.

The venue was beautiful and the ceremony was absolutely perfect. We both admitted that we liked the ceremony better than our own. I teared up as the bride walked down the isle and as they said their vows. Whenever I hear a couple say their vows it makes me think of everything we committed to on our wedding day and how we've kept those commitments despite everything. No one ever thinks their marriage will face so much stress and pressure those first few years. It makes me so glad I have such a great guy who has stood by my side throughout it all and that we came out of it a stronger couple. 

There was dinner under a tent and dancing in a barn up the hill a little ways. The cake was made by the groom's sister and was the most amazing carrot cake ever. I may have had 2 slices. It was a lot of standing on my feet in not very smart shoes, but I still enjoyed myself. 

I wanted to share a few photos from the wedding since I really liked them. I was 24+4 in these pictures and our BiL took them. 

At the wedding I took a few bites of things I haven't been eating. It's so hard when you are at a wedding and faced with so many delicious things. I passed on a lot, but tried a few things. That night I had a horrible dream that a doctor told us the babies were going to die and we just had to wait for their hearts to stop beating. It really made me think it's better to just pass than to feel guilty about eating things. It's such a small sacrifice for something so amazing. I think next time I'll just say no. 

What's Going On

There's not much to report on, but I figured I should give some kind update or another.

Last week was the last week of the school year. Although I work through the summer I have a vastly reduced caseload and rather enjoy it. It's so nice to work shorter days. Today I worked from 9-1:30 and it was pretty amazing. I also realized I only have 1 girl on my caseload for the summer thus far. Help me with the patience to deal with all little boys! I'm going to be supervising a graduate student for a few weeks so that should keep me on the ball and better prepared in general. 

Two weeks ago tonight I got a positive OPK. I have taken a few pregnancy tests and I don't think this cycle was a winner. That's OK. Now I'm just waiting on AF to start my next FET. 

Tonight as we were eating dinner we heard a huge crash and looked outside to see that someone had crashed their truck into the telephone pole right outside our house. Luckily the guy was fine and W was able to call 911. The reason he veered off the road and hit the pole? He was taking a puff on his inhaler on the way to the store to buy cigarettes. 

I've done the initial forms to see about Dr. Braver.man. He is a reproductive immunologist in NYC. Although I have another cycle covered with C.NY I would like his input on what we could do differently. I spent the time filing out his comprehensive history form on Sunday. This morning I saw a number on my phone that I figured was his office. I didn't pick it up because I was running late and it isn't something I'm jumping up and down to do right away. Well, when I listened to my voicemail the message was from Dr. Braver.man himself. He said he read my information and had some ideas. It seemed like the biggest thing he had ideas about was the coasting. I emailed him tonight to see how consulting with my doctor would work. I also found out that a phone consultation is not covered by my insurance but an in office one is. I'm still digesting and trying to figure out if it is worth it. When I looked at his blog they listed a 75% success rate for fresh IVF cycles for women my age. My clinic is 33%. That is such a huge difference I think it is worth investigating. Also, he specializes in recurrent pregnancy loss, which unfortunately, I appear to fall in that category now. 

We attended a wedding this weekend of a friend from graduate school. The wedding was on Cor.nell's campus and was amazing! The bride and groom seemed so happy and in love and everything was beautiful. The food was amazing and everything was really fun. I can't believe how much I ate....

We had our BBQ on Friday and it went really well. It was nice to have all young people there and everyone had a great time. I had way too much wine this weekend between the BBQ and wedding and the cold I had last week has progressed and I'm still feeling crappy. I'm definitely ready to start feeling better. 

So that's the update on what's going on. 

Anniversary

10/10/2009 was the best day of my life. I woke up and looked out the window to see this beautiful tree.

 We gathered with 60 closest family members for an outdoor fall wedding. The temperatures were a bit cold but the day was beautiful and perfect in every way.  

Yesterday W and I celebrated our second wedding anniversary. We both ended up working even though it was a pseudo holiday, but W gets out early (3:30) so that is always nice. We went to the spa for a relaxing afternoon filled with relaxation in the steam room, saunas, and outdoor jacuzzi. In addition, we got a 50 minute couples swedish massage. W hadn't ever had one and he talked about how relaxed he was for the rest of the night. We decided it should be a once weekly occurrence, when we win the lotto.

I realized yesterday that I need to be better to myself. I need to be more positive and thankful for all of the great things I have in my life and I need to focus less on what I don't have. There's really only one thing that we don't have, and a billion other great things that we do have. I have an amazing marriage to my best friend, we both have rewarding and well paying jobs, we have a beautiful house with an extra bedroom or two to fill, 3 great pets, a wonderful family, and some great friends. 

 In an effort to be more positive and grateful for everything that I do have, I am going to practice being thankful for something every day. Today what I am thankful for? Another beautiful October day with temperatures well above average. I'm thankful for sunshine and beautiful fall colors. 

We had a good laugh last night as we looked at the flowers W got me for the EDD of miscarriage #1. They were SO sad looking since they were over a week old and we laughed and laughed about the nice flowers W got me for our anniversary. 

Since we all love weddings and photos, I will leave you with some of my favorites from our wedding day 2 years ago. 

Love this picture, we had to get in the tub!

Everyone that was there that day

Labor Day Weekend

I haven't updated in a while, but I don't really have any exciting news to report. I am still chugging away taking my BCP's, feeling like time is passing rather slowly. I finally called the clinic today (spoke with them last week) and got my appointment scheduled for the sonohysterogram (SHG). Guess what day they had me for? The same day I have a consult scheduled with the other RE, September 19th.

I had to make a decision, and I chose to keep the SHG appointment and reschedule the appointment with the other RE Dr. K. I feel good about this decision because I was feeling a little stressed and pressured about the upcoming appointment. I'm not quite ready to switch RE's, I was really just seeking a second opinion. I rescheduled it for the next available time (November 28). Doing this allows me to go forward the next few months with Dr. S 100%. I feel comfortable and confident with my decision.

So on to Labor Day weekend. We went to Cape Cod with my family for my cousin's wedding. We rode in the car with my Mom, stepdad, and 9 year old brother. It was nice to spend some time with them although it was a LOT of driving over 3 days. We left early Friday and arrived around 3. We stayed at a house with my parents, brother, uncle, aunt, cousin, her husband, and their 2 little boys. My aunt and uncle live in Cali so we rarely see them, and my cousin (H) and her hubby live in Jackson, WY and I hadn't yet met her boys. I really only met her hubby at their wedding. 

H's boys are 3 years and 5 months. The 3 year old (T) took to me immediately and we became best buds over the weekend. He wanted me to play with him constantly and would refuse to play with anyone else. He got jealous when I held his baby brother and kept asking me how many more minutes I was going to hold him for. I had a great time and really enjoying spending time with the little guy. Not to mention, he is pretty darn cute! His Dad was sad when he only wanted to hold my hand and his little looks melted my heart. I can't imagine how much I will love them when I have my own kids.

On Friday we went on a boat for the rehearsal dinner. Best. rehearsal dinner. ever!

Passed hor d'oerves, full open bar, raw bar with oysters and clams, lobster rolls, clam chowder, etc. Can you tell how amazing the food was? I ate SO MANY oysters since they were absolutely amazing. I've never really been a fan, but when you are eating them above the water they came from, they taste pretty fresh and delicious. I had quite a few drinks and found the boat was easier to walk on the more drinks one consumed. My hubby said it was because of the water being calmer, but I am going with the beverage theory. 

The wedding was Saturday and was quite the event. The ceremony was in a small church next to the water and the reception was at a historic house.  There were over 200 people and the hor d'oerves were again AMAZING. Bacon wrapped scallops, beef tenderloin with gorgonzola, coconut shrimp, fried oysters, scallops with gazpacho, lobster salad, spanakopita, ahi tuna, crab cakes, shrimp with andouille sausage, etc, etc, etc. When we sat down for dinner we were SO FULL. The dancing was a lot of fun, the party was great, and spending time with family was great. The bride looked beautiful and her hubby and his family made your neck hurt looking up at them. 

Maybe it's because I didn't notice previously, or maybe because the bride and groom are already in their mid 30's, but boy were there a lot of references to having babies in their ceremony and during the speeches. 

All in all, it was a GREAT weekend. Highlights? My little buddy T and the food! I think I can get away with not eating for a few weeks and be OK. 

Here are some pictures from the weekend:

With my Cousin H and her hubby

Doesn't he look patriotic?

Enjoying the last of the sun on the boat

Mmmmm....raw bar!

gorgeous Cape Cod scenery

Beautiful bride with her Mom

My little buddy T. Isn't he adorable?

The bridal party took a trolly to the reception

W with our bro

first dance