Thankful

This year we traveled to my sister's house in Albany for Thanksgiving. W had to work on Friday but was able to get finished fairly early on Wednesday so we could get on the road. Unfortunately, they were expecting a snow storm so our last hour (at least) of the drive was quite slow going. The girl were so great in the car and that helped a lot.

Traveling isn't quite what it used to be. We now have to pack for 4 people rather than 2. We need to find someone to watch and feed the pets. Remembering to bring everything important is always exciting too.  

Then there's staying at my sister's house. My sister tries, but she really is a bit of a slob. She has 3 cats (one of which peed on our suitcase), a dog, and a toddler. The room they give us to sleep in is an open loft. There's no door. And, the living room is directly below. My BiL loves his TV and video games so they're always on and loud. I love spending time with my sister, but it's stressful at her house. 

Also, my BiL's aunt passed away on Monday afternoon. Because they are Jewish, they bury their dead in a certain timeframe. This meant my sister and BiL had to attend a funeral Thanksgiving day. My dad came over early to start cooking and we went for a walk to visit my childhood friend.

My sister lives in the same neighborhood that we grew up in. From her driveway you can look down at the house that we grew up in. It's also where my sister was born. So, visiting K means I can visit our old neighbors. My best childhood friend was my next door neighbor. She now lives in NYC, but on Thursday morning W and I went down to her parent's house for a visit. It was so nice to see her and her family, and she got to meet Lucy and Clara for the first time. I really enjoyed visiting with her and miss her like crazy. Over time we've fallen out of touch some, but we are Facebook friends so stay somewhat connected that way. 

When we returned to K's house W and I put the girls down for their nap. Then I logged onto my blog and read my Thanksgiving posts for the past few years. Last year's post had me seriously tearing up. 

It's amazing everything we went through. Some days I'm amazed I kept going and pushed through all of the sadness and hurt. I had no idea how strong I was at the time, but looking back it's amazing. 

Some days it's easy to lose track of all the things to be thankful for in life. There are days that the stress of caring for twins and the house builds up. W and I aren't always wonderful to each other, but we're working on it. Life is definitely different, but I wouldn't change it for the world. 

I'm so thankful and grateful for my husband and partner in life. He leaves every day and works so hard for our family. He loves his girls and tells me how much he misses them on Monday when he has to go back to work. He listens to me and gives me breaks when needed and I can always count on him to laugh at my jokes. On the weekends he picks up the slack with the girls and does most of the care for them, giving me a much needed break. He sings to them, dances with them, and snuggles with them in bed. Recently we've been working hard on our relationship. It's crazy that something that was so easy and important in the past has taken a bit of a back seat. Now, we realize we need to work on our marriage and make time to make it a priority, something that isn't always easy when raising twins. 

I'm so thankful for my children. They made me a mama and have taught me so much about myself, love, and patience the past 14 months. Their little faces light up any room and bring smiles everywhere we go. The love they have for each other is amazing and so fun to watch as well. 

I'm thankful for my supportive family. My mom who lives a few minutes up the road and often watches the girls. How they love her so much and crawl full speed to the door when they see her. My in-laws who are always so helpful and supportive. My FiL who will drop anything to help us at any given moment. My sister who I love but wish lived closer. My nephew who loves his babies (Lucy and Clara) and asks about them constantly. 

My pets who continue to love me and stay loyal despite my lack of attention for them.

Our beautiful house that is so full with bodies and love. The large yard we have for our dogs to roam and for our girls to play in. 

My job that allows me to work just a little in order to stay involved and contribute to our "vacation fund". The chance it gives me to get out some and help others. 

There's so much to be thankful and grateful for and I know I just scratched the surface.  

This was Lucy and Clara's second Thanksgiving. As I watched their big cousin Benny show off for them, help them walk by holding their hands, and give them eskimo kisses and hugs I knew every year will just get better. These cousins will grow up together and cause lots of trouble together. The love I have for my family will expand and grow as my children do. I'm just so thankful to be able to live this life!

So Thankful

I know I'm a bit late with it being a day after Thanksgiving, but there's never a bad time to recognize how thankful I am for everything I have. Despite not having everything I want, I'm still so happy and grateful for everything that I do have.

The thing I am most thankful for this year is my husband. He's such a amazing person and I'm so lucky to have him as my partner in everything. He's always there to laugh at my jokes, listen to me ramble, and to offer a hug when I'm having a bad day. I can't imagine my life without him.

I'm also incredibly grateful for my family, both extended and immediate. My sister and I have grown really close over the years and she's now in the loop about everything. She's always cheering for us and has even offered to be a surrogate if we needed. When we were little and through our teen years we fought constantly, so our relationship has really grown. We talk most days and support each other in so many ways. 

I'm happy that I can celebrate holidays with both of my parents, despite them getting divorced when we were little. I'm glad they both have someone in their lives who makes them happy. I'm thankful that my mom and step-dad decided to adopt my little brother, that my family expanded, and that I got to become a big sister at age 24.

I'm incredibly lucky to also have my in-laws. They are so supportive of everything we have gone through and are always hoping and praying for us. My FIL will drop anything on a given day to help us with a house project or dog sit for us.

I thankful for my two nephews, one who turned five in October, and one who is still cooking in my sister's belly. I love taking our nephew O overnights and having him all to ourselves. Being an aunt really is great.

I'm so happy to have my fur babies. Our two dogs are best buds and get so excited to start every new day. I can't imagine greeting each day with such enthusiasm, so I'm glad to have them to show me it's possible. I love snuggling with my cat and sleep so much more soundly when he is curled up next to me. When he starts walking all over us at 4 AM it's a much different story. In those situations I'm thankful to have a lock on our bedroom door.

I'm thankful I have a rewarding and great paying job. I love teaching children how to communicate and watching their little faces light up when they are successful. Watching children develop and progress is amazing.

I'm also thankful for all of the doctors I have in my life. Even though I would prefer to get pregnant without them, I'm thankful that they are on my team pulling for me. I'm thankful for the personal relationships I have built with so many people on this journey. I'm so grateful for our seven frozen embryos that we get to use starting Monday. I'm so thankful that we can afford and attempt all of these treatments. It may not be fun, but I know it will all be worth it. 

And last but not least my friends. My friends who I met through yoga for fertility who totally "get it". My friends who I work with and can relate to on so many levels, and my friends from growing up. Life without friends would be much less bearable and I'm so thankful to have them all. 

It's posts like these that we all need to revisit on a bad day. I try to remember how lucky I am every day and to appreciate everything I have more than once a year. Some days it's harder than others. 

I hope everyone had a fantastic Thanksgiving that celebrated. If not, I'm glad it's at least Friday for those people who didn't get a few days off this week. 

Anniversary

10/10/2009 was the best day of my life. I woke up and looked out the window to see this beautiful tree.

 We gathered with 60 closest family members for an outdoor fall wedding. The temperatures were a bit cold but the day was beautiful and perfect in every way.  

Yesterday W and I celebrated our second wedding anniversary. We both ended up working even though it was a pseudo holiday, but W gets out early (3:30) so that is always nice. We went to the spa for a relaxing afternoon filled with relaxation in the steam room, saunas, and outdoor jacuzzi. In addition, we got a 50 minute couples swedish massage. W hadn't ever had one and he talked about how relaxed he was for the rest of the night. We decided it should be a once weekly occurrence, when we win the lotto.

I realized yesterday that I need to be better to myself. I need to be more positive and thankful for all of the great things I have in my life and I need to focus less on what I don't have. There's really only one thing that we don't have, and a billion other great things that we do have. I have an amazing marriage to my best friend, we both have rewarding and well paying jobs, we have a beautiful house with an extra bedroom or two to fill, 3 great pets, a wonderful family, and some great friends. 

 In an effort to be more positive and grateful for everything that I do have, I am going to practice being thankful for something every day. Today what I am thankful for? Another beautiful October day with temperatures well above average. I'm thankful for sunshine and beautiful fall colors. 

We had a good laugh last night as we looked at the flowers W got me for the EDD of miscarriage #1. They were SO sad looking since they were over a week old and we laughed and laughed about the nice flowers W got me for our anniversary. 

Since we all love weddings and photos, I will leave you with some of my favorites from our wedding day 2 years ago. 

Love this picture, we had to get in the tub!

Everyone that was there that day