I Guess the Lab Really Does Make a Difference

My embryo transfer was Saturday at 2:00 PM in Man.hattan. I had tried to work Friday but felt overwhelmingly nauseous. I made it through one therapy session and sat in the driveway at the next house as I tried to determine if I could work more. In the end, I cancelled the session and headed home. 

We left for NYC around 6:00 Friday evening and didn't realize there was a bit of a storm moving through. We live in an area that gets lots of lake effect snow and just figured there was snow locally. It's really no big deal because we are used to it. When I pulled up the radar and it showed something over almost the entire northeast, we knew it was going to be a long drive. No more driving off the road for us. We stopped for some food on the way and arrived in Queens around midnight. 

We slept in and took our time in the morning. I woke up and felt nauseous and not all that great again. We headed into Man.hattan around 12, thinking we would stop for lunch first. 

The traffic was so bad getting into the city it didn't look good to go to the restaurant recommended by my friend. We instead headed towards our cheap parking garage a few blocks from the office. When we got there we found no attendant on duty. At that point, it was around 1:00 and we were supposed to be there by 1:30. W ended up dropping me off a block or two from the office and told me to get something to eat and that we would meet there. I found a place to get some soup and chowed down as fast as I could. My appetite still wasn't 100% but I knew I needed to get some food into me. 

I got to the office at 1:30, took my Valium, and drank water as I waited. It was pretty busy in the waiting room and my phone died almost immediately, so I was pretty bored. W showed up at about 1:45 still chewing something that reeked like onions. He was finishing a falafel sandwich and ended up moving across the room due to the onion smell. I felt bad but just couldn't handle the smell. Not the best choice, but oh well. 

They called me back to get changed around 1:30. The three bed recovery room had someone in the middle bed and there was someone in the procedure room. The RE came in and told me I looked nervous. I told him that I was just bored. W wasn't allowed back at that point so I sat and waited alone. 

After a little while a woman came escorted out from the procedure room. She had obviously just had a retrieval and looked super out of it. As she got into the far bed I heard her start to cry. I'm learning that a lot of people cry after retrieval. 

 A staff member came out and talked to me and asked me who was next. I told him I had no idea and so he decided to take me in. 

When I entered the procedure room there were three big screens up on the wall in front of me. They told me the furthest screen to the left was the live feed from the lab. On that screen they were separating eggs out from follicle cells around it from the woman who had just had her eggs retrieved. It was absolutely amazing to watch. I was so mesmerized that I didn't even see W come into the room. 

At that point they told me what I would see on the other screens. The left screen continued to be the live feed from the lab, the middle screen was the ultrasound, and the screen to the right would have a picture of our embryos, magnified something like 600x's. They clicked through some files on the right screen and scrolled through a bunch of embryo pictures. The screen stopped on two amazing looking blasts, but I wanted to wait before I got too excited that they were ours. 

Then the embryologist Carlos came in and talked to us. He had pictures of all of our embryos and explained what stage each one was at and how it looked. He showed us the picture of the ones that were also up on the screen and said those were the best two that we would transfer. They were grade A and both hatching from their shells. As he put it, "They are ready for college." Then he told us there were a few others that were also hatching and would be frozen that day. There were 2 others that would likely be frozen the next day and one that was late to fertilize also looked really great and would likely be frozen 2 days later. It sounded like we would have around 5 to freeze but I haven't yet gotten the exact number. At this point, it's really not that important.  

I continued to stare in amazement at our hatching blasts and waited for them to get ready. They had me scoot down the bed and the live feed from the lab showed all of our tiny little embryos in a dish. I watched them get the two we were going to transfer into the catheter and then Carlos came out of the lab with the catheter. I watched the middle ultrasound screen as two little dots appeared in my uterus. Carlos remarked that the placement was "perfect" and then the live feed showed them as they checked the catheter to be sure it was clear. 

They wheeled in another bed and helped me transfer to that one. They then wheeled me out to the recovery room. When I got into the recovery room with W I once again heard that woman in the far bed as she cried and complained she was in a lot of pain. W and I tried to block it all out and laugh and be as positive as possible. The woman in the middle bed went into the procedure room for her transfer as W and I enjoyed my Valium. We both think I'm pretty funny on it. We laughed and probably annoyed everyone else in the room. We just felt so positive and great about everything.  

The staff members came out and had us sign some consents and gave us a picture of our little blasts. Eventually they said I could go to the bathroom. I waited for a bit in the waiting room for W to get the car. I walked out onto the streets on Manhattan and immediately felt super out of it. Nothing like bustling Manhattan to make you feel the Valium. 

W picked me up right in front of the building and we headed towards the recommended restaurant for take-out. We got some of the most delicious spring rolls and pork dumplings, and then got on the road. I slept some on the way home and tried to stay as relaxed as possible. 

We got home Saturday night around 9 and slept in on Sunday. Yesterday we went to a movie and otherwise just relaxed. Today I worked my first full day in a long time and was super exhausted when I came home. I am on 2 cc's of Progesterone in oil daily and have felt really tired as a result. Today I had to get blood work done to check my estradiol and progesterone levels, but didn't hear anything from Dr. B's office about it, so I'm going to guess they are fine. 

The transfer experience really was amazing. The blasts we transferred are the best looking we have ever gotten. To be honest, now I am just terrified it won't work. I am trying to stay as positive as possible, but it's hard when all you've experienced is disappointment. Beta is one week from today but I don't think I will hold off on testing this time. I do better when I am more prepared for the results. Either way, I have learned that the lab really does make a difference and that you get what you pay for. I'm so incredibly grateful to have been able to transfer such amazing blasts. 

Transfer Day (FET #2 from IVF #2)

So, today is the day. I was going to work in the morning but decided against that to limit my stress. I didn't want to be rushing to make it to the appointment. Instead, we slept in a little bit and have been relaxing and moving at a nice slow pace. 

I'm feeling really good and positive. I can't believe how quickly this day came. It's definitely a change from my first clinic. My first frozen transfer accompanied 6 months of waiting from the time the embryos were frozen. Granted there were some issues that needed to be sorted out, but that was torture. The anticipation made things much more stressful. So did paying for a single cycle and having everything riding on that single transfer.  

This time I had a little over 2 weeks of waiting from my period after my chemical pregnancy. I feel much better and there isn't as much anticipation and nervousness involved. I know if this doesn't work (which it will) that we have 2 fresh IVF cycles already paid for.  

The transfer itself is no big deal. What I'm most nervous about is what we are going to have to transfer. Only for a second did I let the fear creep in that there would be nothing to transfer. I immediately pushed those thoughts out. 

I thought I lost my Valium but finally found it wedged in W's Kindle case. I'm pretty excited for that part. I think I'll do acupuncture after as well. Not that I need the Valium to relax during acupuncture, but the combo is pretty amazing. 

Here's hoping we have some great embryos to transfer and that they find things in my ute to their liking!  

IVF #2 CD 20 Transfer Info and 1dp5dt

I didn't update at all yesterday about the transfer. But, it went fantastic! We really couldn't have asked for any better. 

When we arrived at the clinic I took my Valium as instructed. We were called back shortly after which made me nervous since I wasn't feeling it at all. They brought us into the newly expanded part of the clinic. It was absolutely beautiful. We walked past the embryology lab which was fish-bowl style. There were lots of people working away.

When they brought us into the room it felt more like a spa room than a transfer room. Super comfortable bed, no stirrups, low lighting, music, and calming colors. The nurse came in and explained everything that was going to happen. She asked if I had a preference for the doctor and I said I didn't care. She had a print out of our embryos and she started counting. Where did she stop? 17!! Of course not all of them were at the same stage, but all were still going, which completely shocked and amazed both W and me. 

Then the doctor came in. It was the same one who did my retrieval and I really liked him. W actually remarked when he first came into the room to explain the retrieval procedure my heart rate dropped dramatically by the time he left. 

Dr. Greene told me we had 4 blastocysts and that he recommended transferring 1 or 2. He said he would need a lot of coaxing for 3 since the quality was so good. We talked about the odds. Transferring 2 meant greater odds for twins, but it also upped the success rate from transferring 1. Transferring 3 made the triplet rate a little scary for both of us and didn't change the overall success rate.  

He showed me the best blastocysts and I then asked about the grading. He opened a door which led directly to the embryology lab and called the embryologist in. She told me of the 4 we had, 2 were 4AA and 2 were 4BB. There were a bunch more that were close and they were going to monitor them to see whether they turned to blast. Her recommendation was to transfer the 2 4AA's and freeze the 4BB's. Done deal.

Dr. Greene first did a trial transfer and then the actual transfer. When he was doing the trial transfer he turned the screen towards me and moved the catheter so I could see what I was looking at. He then said, "That's me, waving hello." We all laughed awkwardly at that one. 

W was there holding my hand the entire time and it was over quickly. No cramping, no discomfort, totally smooth. Dr. G counted down, "3, 2, 1" when he put them in, but I couldn't see anything different on the screen. I wasn't sure exactly where to look. 

I scooted up the bed and relaxed for the next 20 minutes or so. We got a picture of the ones we transferred and I've been transfixed by them since. Maybe I'm biased, but I can't believe how perfect and beautiful they are. 

After the 20 minutes the nurse returned and said I could get dressed. We walked about 30 seconds down the hall and were at acupuncture. I definitely fell asleep there and felt super relaxed. We went home and spent the rest of the day lounging around and watching comedies. 

Today I went back to work since I've missed so much. It was a light day and I tried not to pick up any of the kids or be too physical with them. When I woke up this morning I felt really anxious, but was able to listen to Circle + Bloom, and that really helped. 

Unfortunately, W texted me around 11 saying the stomach bug had hit him. This evening was spent laying low and relaxing again. I feel terrible that he got it too since it's no fun. I hope he feels better soon. 

Tomorrow I have acupuncture scheduled for 3:30. We bought tickets to the SU Georgetown game, but I'm not so sure we will be going. It's harder to be distracted and positive when your hubby is so sick. I'm trying my best though. 

I'm thinking positive and grateful thoughts and really hoping this is it. Oh yeah, and here are my amazingly beautiful future babies:

Our 2 4AA blastocysts

Our joke is that the one on the left looks more like me since it's rounder and I have a rounder face and features. Very creatively, it is nicknamed "round". The one of the right looks more like W since he has a more narrow face and more pointy feature. That one is called "pointy". So hopefully "round" and "pointy" are getting comfy cozy as I type. 

IVF #2 CD 19 Transfer Time

My transfer is scheduled for this morning at 9:15. I have an acupuncture appointment immediately following which I am really looking forward to. 

What I'm looking forward to the most? Valium. I love that stuff!

I went with the attitude that, "no news is good news" on Saturday when I knew the clinic would be checking my embryos. I didn't call them and they didn't call me. And I'm OK with that. I didn't want to spend the weekend worrying about things. And it worked well.  

I am looking forward to finding out what we have to transfer today. I am super excited and nervous all at the same time. 

Embabies on board

Our transfer was at 9:30 this morning. Although I had trouble falling asleep and proceeded to have crazy dreams, I still woke up feeling rested. When we got there our embryos were up on the computer screen so I took a quick look. Four appeared fine and one no longer even looked like an embryo, more just like an egg. Dr.S appeared shortly after and began getting set up. They wanted to bring me into the transfer room at 9:15 but my bladder wasn't very full and I wasn't feeling the Valium. I've read too much about people being incredibly uncomfortable due to an over-full bladder, so I guess I didn't drink enough.

They gave me some time to drink more water and then we talked about the embryos. Of the four that survived two looked really good and two had yet to cleave or divide. I guess they were still viable, but hadn't shown any new growth. So...? We put them all back. I think it was the best choice because I would hate to think the two slackers could get tossed. 

Looking and feeling loopy, W has no excuse

It took a bit of time to get my uterus in full view on ultrasound, but once they did we were ready. They put the embryos in and then checked the catheter to make sure they were out. 

When they brought me back out to the original room to lie down I was super loopy. I was cracking myself and W up with my actions and comments. I had a bit of gauze and was using it as a pirate's patch. 

After a half hour I sent W to pick up the car and planned to walk out and meet him. When Dr. S saw me waiting by myself he offered to walk me out. He walked me out to my car and even opened my car door for me. 

My beta HCG test will be in 14 days, which is a bit of a long wait if you ask me. I am planning to test before then, but definitely not too early, I promise. I might even just test the day of so we can get the news together and at home. Dr. S told the nurse he would be the one to call me with the results. 

I spent the day lounging on the couch watching movies and shows: 30 Minutes or Less (ehhh, even though it had some of my favorites), 27 Dresses (always a good one), Parks and Recreation, The Office, and now America's Funniest Home Videos. No serious or sad stuff around here. Tomorrow I have to do an evaluation at 9:00 but plan to take the rest of the day off. W has been great today, doing everything for me and being super helpful. I will miss him tomorrow.

I will be thinking positive and hopeful thoughts for my embabies on board. How is it possible to have so much love for a little bundle of cells?