Poor Kitty

This afternoon I ended up rushing my cat Hoback to the vet. He seemed fine as he walked all over us at 4:30 this morning. W kicked him out of the bedroom and locked the door. This is his usual routine in the early morning during one of my many bathroom trips.  

When we got up this morning Hobie was no where to be found. Usually he's very vocal and keeps W company in the shower. He loves to stand between the shower curtain and liner and repeatedly lick the liner as the water runs down it. He's a weirdo. 

He also loves to eat and to not see him ready for breakfast was unusual. I asked W to look under the bed in the guest room (his absolute favorite place) but he wasn't there. As I headed downstairs to get my breakfast ready I saw him walking close to the bed. He seemed like he wasn't standing up completely, but I didn't think much of it. 

I went to my appointment and was home very briefly to get ready for the shower at W's work. The shower was great and his co-workers were so generous. 

When I got home I started to look for Hobie again and couldn't find him. When I went into the nursery I saw fresh blood on the dresser and spots on the changing pad along with some kitty hair. That was when I knew I had to find him. 

I went down to the basement (his other favorite spot) and called for him. I saw a pile of fresh vomit and got really concerned. I finally turned on the flashlight app on my phone and started searching through a slightly cluttered area for him. 

Finally I saw his little body curled up in a ball. When he didn't move I got a little scared. I grabbed him and pulled him out. He cried out very loudly when I picked him up. I carried him up to the bedroom and placed him on the bed. I looked him over and he just didn't seem like himself. He was lying there letting me pet him but it looked like his limbs were all quivering. I called the vet and they said to bring him right in. I then located that the source of the bleeding was from his penis. Poor guy 

I went to the attic and then the basement to find the carrier. When I went back to the bedroom he hadn't moved. 

I put him in the carrier and rushed him to the vet. He meowed almost the entire way there very loudly. 

The receptionist/nurse brought him right into the exam room. She felt his belly and said he wasn't able to pee. She went and got the vet immediately. 

When Dr. Nichols came in he asked me whether I was due tomorrow or not. I told him not until October 1st and that it was twins. He again felt Hobie's belly and told me the cat was going to have to stay. When I asked if that meant overnight he said it meant for a few days. He said they were going to have to catheterize him, flush things out, and probably use anesthesia. Can you say expensive??

The vet called W around 6:00.  He first congratulated W on the twins and then called him a stud. He said Hobie was doing well and that his condition had been very life threatening. If we had been out of town or not caught it he would have definitely died. He said he will likely have to stay until at least Monday and that the hardest part was over but that they needed to continue to watch him very closely. 

I feel so badly for our little kitty. I hope he's doing ok and I miss him terribly. 

The Dark Clouds are Parting

Things are looking up. The dark clouds that were hanging around us last week seem to be moving aside and allowing for some bright light. We are feeling happier, smiling more, and moving on from the sadness. It took a lot longer this time, but it also changed some of our perspectives on things.

The orientation at the adoption agency Tuesday night really helped. We drove about two hours west and arrived early. It was a good thing we did because finding the office was incredibly confusing. I guess they had just moved so it wasn't marked as their office and we spent almost 25 minutes looking for the place, driving up and down the road. The orientation itself was informative and helped to explain the whole process really well. They had a bunch of sample profiles to look at and it was nice to see what people share about themselves. The agency also had a family come in with their four month old son to share their experience. They had waited thirteen months to be matched, but their little guy was adorable. The process sounds difficult and expensive, but totally worth it. I'm sure it's incredibly hard to wait for "the call." It seems to different from doing treatments.

After the orientation we went for dinner. The food was horrible but we laughed and had a good time. We had some great conversations in the car during our two hour ride home. It was fun to talk about and we both felt so positive.

We aren't jumping up and down to start registering with them. I thought it would be a good idea to speak to an adoption attorney first to get some reviews of this agency and possible other options before moving forward. If we do choose this agency they believe in open adoptions. When I first asked W about it we were on the fence. The more we thought about it the more it seemed fine. W said, "It's just another person we get to brag to about our kid." I thought that was funny.

When I looked up local adoption attorneys yesterday I found a good family friend of my MiL and FiL listed. W called him today and he said although he does deal with some adoptions, he had a good friend who primarily does them. He gave us his number and W left a message yesterday afternoon.

In other news Aunt Flo finally decided to show her face a full eight days after stopping my meds. It was the longest I have ever waited and I was honestly started to get concerned. I emailed the nurse at Dr. B's office on Wednesday and by Thursday morning things had started. I also got a call from Dr. B's office saying they had an appointment available for the 27th. I called back and we are scheduled for 2:30. We are planning to take Thursday and Friday off from work and spend some time in NYC. He isn't doing office visits in the city anymore (Hurricaine Sandy maybe?), but it's so close and a great excuse to spend some time in the city. I'm pretty sure the tree will still be up in Rockefeller center so I'm pretty excited to see that. W has two cousins that live in the city, I have one, and his aunt and uncle live in northern NJ. I'm sure we can find someone to stay with.

I have to call my local clinic to schedule a baseline appointment before starting birth control pills. I'm a little nervous about it because they always ask what kind of cycle I will be doing. I know they won't like the idea of me going somewhere else, but I think it's time to move on from them. 

It's somewhat alarming how much cheaper my current clinic's prices are. It has to be for some reason, right? I can't believe it's just because the RE who owns it has a good heart. We were able to buy three cycles for a little over $7,000. That included ICSI, assisted hatching, anesthesia, and all frozen cycles involved. It didn't include meds and monitoring. Doesn't that seems bit too cheap? My first IVF cycle was at a publicly funded state university clinic. They still charged us about $6,000 for the cycle we did there. 

 I'm sure my current clinic is a great clinic if you are a straightforward case and the one-size-fits-all approach works. Unfortunately, I'm not that person. I would have loved nothing more than for our first cycle to work with them. Three fresh cycles (one with a freeze all) and three frozen cycles later it still didn't worked. I shouldn't feel bad going somewhere else, we need to do what is best for us. At this point though I'm still not completely convinced what is best is doing a cycle with Dr. B. It may just be pursuing adoption, but I think I'd like some closure on treatments. The thing about that is as long as we have five frozen embyros, we won't have closure. I'd really like to make a decision by the end of the year so that if we pay for another cycle we can deduct it on our taxes. With all of our medical expenses this year it would help us to get some of it back. The prices at Dr. B's office certainly aren't as cheap as where I am now. 

None of this is easy, but now we have some plans in place. We are hoping to speak with a lawyer soon and at least register with an agency. We will meet with Dr. B and make a plan moving forward with him most likely. It's been a bumpy ride, but hopefully there will be fewer potholes in the future. Either that, or I should buckle up and hang on tight.