What Memories are Made of

This past weekend was great. We had such a great time as a family and made some wonderful memories. When I thought about having children, these were the weekends I fantasized about. Although date night looks incredibly different these days, I wouldn't change it for the world!

On Saturday morning we did a make-up music class as the girls have been sick a lot. It's rare that daddy gets to join in this fun, and it was so nice to go all together. Clara loved having daddy to dance with for a change. After music we went home for lunch and naps. When the girls woke from their naps we went to the bowling alley for the first time. It was so fun watching them bowl. From rolling the ball to watching the pins fall and cheering for each other, it was all so much fun. I think the girls liked the ball return the most and would clap and cheer when the ball returned. It was just so cute and funny. After bowling we went into Skaneateles for dinner at a favorite family friendly restaurant. As W rounded up the girls I got us milkshakes for the ride home. It was all so much fun. After the girls went down for the night W and I hung out on the couch and watched a movie on Netflix. I actually stayed away for the whole thing which is quite rare!

Sunday morning we had a nice breakfast at home and then headed to Build-a-Bear to cash in some gift certificates the girls got for their birthday. Lucy picked an Ariel bear and Clara picked the dog from Paw Patrol. They picked some accessories for them and we were grateful for the gift certificates as they are pricey! The girls love their animals and napped with them later at my in-laws house. While L & C napped, W and I ran errands to Trader Joe's and Wegmans for our shopping for the week. It was so nice to have it done and over with when we got home later that afternoon. Stella rode in the shopping cart for the first time and loved it. We also got to check out our new Honda Odyssey van my FiL got at the auction for us. I can't wait until it's on the road later this week. 

Everyone brought their carseat and baby

First time in the shopping cart!

Our new van!!

Although nothing super special happened this past weekend, it was one of those weekends I never want to forget. W and I got along and communicated great, the girls behaved so well, and overall W and I felt like a well oiled machine in our outings. There was no asking him to grab certain things or prompting him to start working on something. No being disappointed he forgot to grab important things or feeling like I was doing the brunt of the work. He anticipated so well and helped a lot and remained so patient the whole time. It just felt so great to work together so well all while enjoying some quality family time. 

Stella 6 months

Stella- You really are one of the happiest and most alert babies I know. You love, love your big sisters something huge and watch everything they do very closely. You love that Lucy holds your hand and sings to you in the car and really missed her the week we rented a van and you were in the middle row alone. You're getting so much better at sitting and can stay up independently without toppling over for a few short minutes. You've even started to catch yourself when you fall to one side or another. You roll back to front and front to back consistently and have started to rotate your body like a little clock, turning all the way around while playing on your back. You've also started bridges or "butt bumping" as we called it when Lucy was a baby. You are wearing mostly 6 month clothing but aren't huge. Your weight is similar to your sisters at only 12.9, but your head is in the 83rd percentile! You've recently changed up your napping routine and only nap about twice a day, maybe three times. Your naps are longer, but it's much more exhausting with you up all the time and harder to predict when you will sleep. You babble "dadadada" all day long but haven't figured out the lip closure for the mama sound. It's all about that little tongue of yours! You're getting a little better with the drooling and open mouth posture and I think food has helped a lot. You have no idea what to do with a pureed food, but anything with a little texture gets munched right up. You've tried sweet potato, acorn squash, pinto beans, zucchini cakes, and puffs. You still have fluid in your ears but will hopefully get tubes placed soon. You light up and smile when you see me or your sisters and you're generally very friendly with strangers. You got baptized in an April snow storm. Getting there was crazy stressful and then the priest was having balance issues and nearly dropped you. I'm so glad you were okay. You're still not a great sleeper and never want to miss a thing. Getting you to fall asleep is often a challenge, and you're really not going any super long stretches at night. You're generally up 1-2 times a night to eat. This month you took your first plane ride and felt the sand in your toes for the first time. You really are a joyful and wonderful baby and I can't imagine our family without you. 

St Patrick's Day 

Looking down from the top of the stairs. Such a cute little face!

We are ready for a mini van!

Eating some mum mum crackers. 

Trying out our bathing suits. 

Fri-yay!!!

No one cried! 

A new hat from Grandma Becky!

Hanging with Togie. 

We had to stop swaddling with muslin blankets are start using this. Muslin was getting too tough. 

Easter Sunday. 

This! This is why we need a van. To keep the baby safe from eating things like napkins in the car. 

Piggy back from Lucy. 

Baptism

Love this photo. 

Marriage

This week my sister informed me that her marriage is over, she plans to leave. When she first told me the news I was so caught off guard and scared by her tone and seriousness. I went back to W that night and told him how she really sounded like she meant it and how it scared me. 

Since we speak pretty much daily the next few days gave me the opportunity to ask and find out more details. 

According to her it's been "really bad for a really long time."  I knew he didn't help much around the house or with their son. That he was ungrateful for everything she does to keep their household afloat. Every winter while he's at home on seasonal unemployment playing video games and smoking pot, my sister is busting her butt, working two jobs and dropping Benny off at daycare. She put up with a lot of crap for a long time. Apparently they had a big blow out fight about it all and my BiL asked her if she even still wanted to be married. That's when she told him no. 

But it all makes me so sad to think about. My parents split up when I was 7 and my sister was 9. I remember those following years like they were a deep black hole for my family. My mom cried a lot, was very depressed, and it affected us all so much. When she started dating and put that before us and her family, it once again affected us. Maybe it's that my dad left and my mom didn't see if coming, but it was so hard for her and our family. 

I hate to think of my sister feeling like that and going through something like it. If it were just her it'd be one thing, but my three year old nephew is about to be along for the ride. Breaks ups are really hard, I can't imagine breaking up when married with a child. 

All week any time I thought about it I'd get super upset. I would cry thinking about being a spectator during the process. Having to watch their marriage and family unravel. Knowing Benny will be experiencing it all with them and that he will also grow up in a broken home with broken parents.  

Today I talked to my sister and through tears I told her my fears. My fears for her and my nephew. How even though I'm not a huge fan of my BiL, how I'm still feeling terrible for him and waiting to hear about his self destruction and decline. 

It's all so sad. I wish they had tried harder to work on things sooner. That my sister had stood up to him years ago and put her foot down. That they could work together rather than give up. 

My sister said she wants to move out within the next month. That she can't take being around him and constantly being guilted by him. That maybe they could work on things, just not in their current living situation. 

I'm really so sad about all of it. I hate to think of my sister going through a divorce, especially knowing how hard it was on my mom and family as a child. Please keep my sister in your thoughts and send her strength during this time. I know she'll need it. 

5 months old

Stella,

I can't believe you're five months old already! You're growing and changing so much and definitely aren't that same squishy baby we brought home 5 months ago. You're officially rolling both ways now and are so proud of yourself when you do. We've started focusing more on sitting and helping you practice that and you're already getting better. You've almost grown out of all of your three month clothes and I was a little sad you barely even wore some things. Your sisters fit in 0-3 month clothes for a long time. You're generally very happy and smile at everyone. Your face lights up so huge when you see your sisters. They're so good at helping to bring you toys or talk to you when you're being fussy. You're getting really great at grabbing things and pulling them to your mouth and you love to pull my hair any chance you get. We're still working through the hearing and reflux issues, but hopefully will have that figured out soon. You had a few great weeks when we first upped your reflux meds but lately it seems to be bothering you again. I tried a protein shake that you really didn't like and you started waking 3-4 times a night to comfort nurse. I'm glad I figured out the problem. You're generally up once, maybe twice a night to eat. You are still sleeping in our bed in the Dock a Tot, and I'm perfectly fine with that. Since you're still waking at night to eat and likely my last baby I like having you close. You nap about 4-5 times during the day and have a pretty good routine/schedule. You are a pretty relaxed baby that is willing to hang out as long as you are a part of the action or can see what is going on. I can't believe next month you will be half of the way to a year old! Time can slow down whenever. 

I was sleeping next to her until her sisters woke up. 

Taking a break during our car trip. 

Snoozing

Someone found the tubing to my pump. 

Lucy "reading" to her sister. 

Play date with twin boys Sam and Jackson. 

Cool kids

Vehicles

I drove a Subaru Impreza Outback until the day my girls were born. On that day I rear ended someone, breaking my water and totaling the car I loved so much. 

We were planning to get me a new car to accommodate our growing family, but the accident sped things up. My husband wanted a mini van, I wanted a Honda Pilot or Totota Highlander, and my FiL thought we should get an SUV with third row seating. We decided shortly after on the Mazda CX-9. 

While there were things I really liked about that car we ultimately decided to sell it about 14 months later because it was so large and I didn't feel like I could see well out of it. In the fall of 2014 I traded in my Mazda for a Subaru Outback. 

3 1/2 short months later we found out I was pregnant with baby #3. In an attempt to not get a new car right away we got Diono car seats that fit three across for L &C. 

Although it's a tight squeeze we mostly make it work. We couldn't afford another car right away so we were determined to make it work. 

The thing is, it's tough. When we travel long distances even the passenger can barely reach the girls. They fight because they're so close to each other, and recently L & C have given Stella food on a few occasions. Before it wasn't a big deal, but now she's super into it and will try to put anything in her mouth. The other day I arrived home to discover her munching happily on a cereal bar. 

We've started talking about and looking at vans but I'm not totally sold. I'm not convinced climbing into the third row will be any easier and I'm not sure how to configure three rear facing car seats. Another option would be to transition Stella to a convertible Dionk seat and keep the Subaru. 

What do you drive?

Dad

Last weekend we traveled to my sister's house to visit my nephew and celebrate his third birthday. We planned to stay Friday night and return Saturday evening while the girls were sleeping. 

The prior Monday my dad started experiencing severe vertigo. He was unable to drive himself, walk very far without leaning on the walls or others for support, or even stay upright for long. He was spending most of his days in bed sleeping. He went to an urgent care facility and was given an antibiotic and something for the vertigo. They assumed it was a sinus or ear infection. When he wasn't improving he called a few days later. They told him they wanted him to finish his antibiotic before being seen again. 

By Benny's party on Saturday dad still wasn't feeling any better. He came to the party but spent most of the time sitting or laying on the couch in the corner. He was super low energy and just looked awful. He said he was so nauseous from the vertigo that he couldn't eat much. With everyone's urging, his girlfriend took him to the ER after that party. 

As we were sitting on the couch spending the last few minutes with my sister, car packed full of stuff, we got a call saying they found out that my dad had had a stroke. It was then that we knew we were staying another night. 

The following morning we went to visit dad at the hospital. He seemed to be doing better and said the vertigo had improved. With lots of further testing in the following days they were able to find a small blockage in his cerebellum (the part of your brain responsible for balance and coordination). He was given something to break up the clot and was able to go home Tuesday night.  

Dad has a lot of follow up appointments including an ENT because they found a small mass on his thyroid. We're all hoping this serves as a wakeup call and that he starts to make choices to get healthier. He seems to be in denial now, but I just hope he realizes how lucky he was. A blood clot can be extremely devastating or even fatal. The fact that he had one and is now seemly fine really is lucky. 

I'm just so glad that my dad is okay.