Playing Favorites

I'm sure this isn't uncommon. My MiL is playing favorites. I had noticed it a bunch in the past. We tried to indirectly address it by saying things like "Clara wants to play too" or "Clara feels left out", but she continues to favor Lucy and pay her more attention. 

After our Easter dinner my step dad pointed it out and and said it was very obvious she favors Lucy. It upsets me that other people are noticing and commenting about it. 

The good news is that Clara is a very social and friendly baby. I know she will get plenty of attention. It just bothers me and hurts my feelings to see her so obviously playing favorites. I also don't like leaving the girls with her because I have to worry about whether they are being treated fairly or not. 

Maybe part of my feeling upset about it is I had a grandma who played favorites. Big surprise I wasn't the favorite. My sister was mean to me growing up as most jealous big sisters are. When we would stay at my grandma's house Kate would inevitably do something to me. If I told my grandma she would say, "Katie would never do that." I actually had what we caled my crying closet at my grandma's house. When things like that would happen I'd go cry in the closet in the first guest bedroom upstairs. I'm sure I was a bit of a brat and didn't always go to my crying closet for unfairness, but the memory remains. It was upsetting to feel like someone never took your side even when sometimes they should have. 

So, I ask you all, do we address it with her? Or, do we say life isn't fair and try to ignore it? I don't know whether this is something that should be addressed or not,  but I do know it brings back all kinds of bad memories for me and makes me upset. 

34

Today the girls are 34 weeks old. They have been here the same length of time as my pregnancy. I can assure you, the second half has gone much faster! 

Aaaaamazing!!

Our hard work paid off last night. We stuck with our nighttime routine but added in some baby Vicks vaporub for good measure. I bought it over a week ago but hadn't used it because my MiL insisted it didn't do anything. 

The girls went down at 7:30. Around 10 Lucy was stirring and fussing. We gave her some time and she was able to do her own paci replacement and fall back asleep. 

We heard absolutely nothing from their room until 4:45 when Lucy woke up to eat. She nursed and went right back down in her crib. At that point I had 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep under my belt and felt ready to take on the day. Luckily I got to go back to sleep and sleep for another 2 1/2 hours. 

Around 5 Clara started to fuss. We gave her some time and it started to escalate. At that point W gave her her paci and she fell right back asleep. 

They both woke up this morning around 7:30 in a great mood! 

I hope future nights are this good. We are supposed to have dinner with my friend Sara on Saturday. Sara did 5 IVF cycles here locally at the same clinic as me. We met at yoga for fertility and have kept in contact mainly over text. After her 5th IVF cycle she was told she needed donor eggs and got on 2 waiting lists. At the same time she booked a consult appointment with Dr. Braverman. Both times her turn came up with the egg donors, she had an appointment or was scheduled to start a cycle with Dr.B. She declined the donors and did 1 IVF cycle in NYC. Her son just turned a month old. I'm debating if we should change dinner to lunch so we can keep on our routine. What do you do about early bedtimes when you have evening plans?

Stuffy

We are still fighting the war on sleep. We seem to be winning the war on night time feedings for now. 

Our biggest problem is the lack of crib sleeping. 

The past 2 nights we've put the girls down much earlier. Rather than doing a dream feed we are keeping them up after their 4:30ish feeding and then I'm nursing them right before bed around 7:30. They are going down like champs and W and I are really enjoying having more time to ourselves at night. 

The past 2 nights both babies have woken up about 3 hours after we put the down with super stuffy noses. I think if they didn't have stuffy noses that they might continue sleeping without interruption. We are running the humidifier in their room and using suction as needed, but I don't think there's much else we can do. 

They've had the stuffy noses for almost 2 weeks now. When I brought Lucy to the ped he prescribed amoxicillin and said he didn't want us to give it to her unless her fever spiked or she didn't improve within a week. She's definitely improved, but the stuffiness remains. I really would rather not give them antibiotics, but the ped had said it could be a sinus infection.

Both nights we tried to soothe and rock them around 11 pm, but it just didn't seem to be working. After repeated attempts to put them down and them waking up 2 minutes later, we brought them in the bed with us. 

I've been feeding Lucy once around 1 am and one night I fed Clara around 5 am as she was crying like she was hungry and W couldn't get her to calm down. 

All in all, the night time feeding frenzy has improved. Now we need to figure out how to get them to either not wake up around 11 or to go back down in their cribs.

We are taking baby steps here...

Super-Daddy

I don't know how single parents do it. I think if I was raising the girls by myself I'd be a complete wreck. I'm always so happy to see W come home in the afternoon as he gives me relief. 

Yesterday was a rough day. Due to our awful night the girls didn't start their day by eating. Then Lucy skipped another meal despite my best attempts to get her to eat. She was miserable and her misery rubbed off on those around her. 

When W got home we made a plan. We decided I would feed Lucy once at night, but that Clara needed to go all night without eating. He would do most of the soothing because otherwise the girls would smell me and want to eat. We were going to let them fuss some before running in to soothe them, and try rocking before bringing them in our bed. We were also going to put the girls down earlier for the night and skip the dream feed. 

He did so well. Due to the timing of everything with feedings yesterday we didn't get them down as early as we liked, but it was a great start. The girls ate around 6:00 and then played for a bit. Around 7:00 they had some sweet potato and then hung out while we worked on dinner. Around 8:00 we headed upstairs for baths. They had baths, read some stories with daddy, nursed around 8:30 and were both asleep by 8:45. 

No one woke up until 1 am and it was Lucy. She had a stuffy nose so W tried soothing her. He even ran a hot steamy shower and sat in the bathroom in the steam with her for a bit. By 1:45 I could still hear her fussing/crying and she sounded hungry. I decided then to feed her. She ate and went back down in her crib. We didn't hear from her again until around 5:30. At that time she fussed and went back to sleep but then started to fuss again 5 minutes later. I tried her paci twice after giving her some time, but she kept waking up. At that point I brought her in bed where she snuggled up and fell right back asleep until 7:30. 

We didn't hear anything from Clara at all until around 5 am. W said she fussed one other time earlier but fell back asleep on her own. He said he tried soothing her but ultimately ended up bringing her in bed. The huge success is that she didn't eat at that time as that's what's been the routine lately. She fell asleep with W and slept until 7:30. 

So, all in all, last night was a success. I don't expect everything to be great overnight, but I think talking about things and making a plan really helped. I also appreciate the input from others. Hopefully soon we'll all be back to getting more consecutive hours of sleep. I know today started off much better than yesterday!

Sleep

I knew I'd write more than one post on this topic. Babies change so much and so do their sleeping patterns. Well, that's definitely the case at our house. 

Nights have not been good. Prior to vacation the girls were trying to shift their schedule to earlier nights and mornings, but I didn't want to change anything seeing how it was 2 hours earlier there. I wasn't looking to start our days at 5 am Mexico time. 

When we got back we made the change. The girls started getting up for the day at 7, 7:30 ish. For me this meant about 2 fewer hours of sleeping in the morning and much more awake time before W returns from work around 4:15. You can tell which routine I preferred. 

We are still on a 3 hour schedule. The girls eat, play, and then typically nap for 45 mins to an hour prior to starting it all again. They still act hungry and want to eat every 3 hours. 

The daytime routine is working fine. Some days they skip some naps when we are out and about, but generally everything is going well. 

Night time is another story altogether. It used to be that I'd feed them before bed around 10 or 10:30, feed Lucy once more around 3 or 4 am, then feed both around 9:00 am. 

Now it feels like there's no structure or routine at night. They've been eating somewhere around 7:30 and then going down around 9:30. Depending on the night, I individually wake them for a dream feed somewhere around 10:30, 11:00. They go right back down to sleep in their cribs. 

This is what seems to start a free for all. Since vacation and being sick they are waking a lot during the night. W typically does the soothing at night because he is the lighter sleeper and hears them much sooner than me. 

It seems lately the paci replacements aren't doing the trick. He says he tries that 2-3 times first, but then brings them in bed. This means I'm doing much more night feedings lately. There have been nights where I feed both babies twice during the night. To be honest, I'm so tired and it's so much easier to just stick them on my boob than try to figure out the problem or rock them. I don't have to get up. I just have to whip out my boob and pull a baby close. 

Our laziness is not working well. The girls are up a lot during the night. They have regressed to both eating at night, and pretty much every morning arrives with both babies in our bed. Not good. 

I think we need to try to let them cry it out, but with Lucy's lack of consistent weight gain I also think she may still need a night time feeding. I'm fine with feeding her once, but twice seems like a little much. I don't think she really sleeps any long stretches during the night when she used to months ago. 

I'm at a loss. Do we let them cry it out? Do I "Ferber-ize" them? Both girls are still stuffy and I think this is contributing to more wake-ups. Also, they are both in cloth and most mornings have leaked through to their clothes. Would disposables at night help them to sleep longer? 

Any tips or advice is appreciated! What worked for you in this or a similar situation? 

Happy Easter

The girls weren't quite sure what to think of the Easter bunny. Hope everyone is enjoying their holiday and eating lots of chocolate like I plan to do. 

Swings

The girls are finally feeling better and spring is in the air. The other day when W got home from work we walked to the park to check out the swings. The girls loved them! I also love using my double stroller. It is such an improvement from the double snap and go. 

So much fun!

Mexico

I have nothing but great things to say about our first family vacation. The girls were such great travelers. We had 4 separate flights total. They did so great minus the last ten minutes of the final flight (that arrived home at midnight!) 

Luckily we found out in advance that we wouldn't be able to sit next to each other on the plane. This helped us to be better prepared. There aren't enough oxygen masks for 2 lap riding infants in one row. Instead, we sat next to each other in the aisle seats. On the way there for our long flight I sat next to a really nice woman and her mother. As we talked I found out she had 8 year old triplets! She had 2 boys and one girl and one of her sons had Down's syndrome. She was so sweet and nice and helped me when my seatbelt got stuck on my pants as I tried to stand up and then also helped me put my coat on. Lucy loved her and smiled at her more than she does her grandparents. 

We stayed in the Riviera Maya which is just south of Cancun. We didn't leave the resort at all and stuck to our usual 3 hour schedule during the day. Depending on what time it was I'd feed the girls as W got us ready for our selected destination (pool, beach, walk, or food). We'd spend as much time as possible at the pool or beach before heading back to the room for naps. A few times W took the girls back to the room and put them down, letting me stay out in the sun. I also took a few turns going back to the room while he stayed out 

We purchased a pop up sun tent for the girls so we could guarantee they'd be in the shade. They loved the pool and there was a great shallow and shaded pool area for babies. They even made some friends. W and I laughed when we saw a baby with both its parents doting on it in the pool. We laughed even harder when we saw two grandparents also doting. They had a 4:1 ratio while we were 1:1. 

The girls didn't like the ocean. Twice we tried putting their feet in and they cried. I think the crashing waves scared them. They did like walks on the beach in their Ergo's, putting their toes in the sand, and sitting on the beach in the sun tent.  

We took lots of walks around the huge resort either on the beach or in the stroller right along the beach. We ate delicious food and drank wonderful frozen beverages. We played in the sun tent on the beach while enjoying the view of the ocean and feeling the breeze. We dipped in the pool and swung in hammocks with the girls. We read on our balcony while the girls napped. We soaked up a little bit of sun and lots of warm temperatures. It was amazing! 

We quickly learned that the word for twins in Spanish is "gamilas". We heard it everywhere we went. We also learned that in Mexico it's completely acceptable to touch babies. W and I quickly agreed to let it slide. We didn't want to spend our vacation swatting hands away from the girls. Everywhere we went we drew attention from the staff. Even the men working there would come over to look at the girls. They had their own fan club. We laughed that when we got home they missed all their fans as they complained they weren't being constantly entertained. 

All in all, it was an amazing trip. Lucy was more relaxed than she's ever been and both girls loved not having to be bundled in clothes all the time. I'm so glad we were brave enough to travel abroad with 6 month old twins. The memories of our first family vacation are irreplaceable. 

Without further adeau, I will now bombard you with vacation photos and cuteness. 

Sick Babies

I think the only thing worse than one sick baby is 2 sick babies. 

The week we were on vacation my mom got sick. By the following week (last week) she said she was feeling better and came over on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. She was still coughing and lethargic, and obviously having her here backfired. 

This past week we were adjusting to being home and trying a slightly different schedule where we get up around 7:30 for the day. The girls used to sleep longer but that stopped before we left for vacation. We didn't bother trying to make the adjustment until we got home. 

On Wednesday night Clara was up all night crying and wanting to eat. I'm pretty sure I fed both babies twice during the night. Normally Clara sleeps soundly for about 8 straight hours. I'm used to getting up to feed Lucy, but not both babies multiple times!

Thursday night Lucy woke up with a high fever of 102.8 and a stuffy nose. We gave her Tylenol, but she did not sleep for any long stretches or sleep soundly. 

On Friday I continued to give her Tylenol but the fever wouldn't go below 100.5. We finally took her to the ped that afternoon. Her fever was still up but apparently I was under dosing her. Instead of 1.5 ml I should have been giving her 2.5 ml. We left with a script for amoxicillin just in case her condition worsened over the weekend. We were all in agreement that we didn't want to give it to her unless absolutely necessary. 

Friday night the fever went down some and by Saturday she only had a low grade fever. On Saturday Lucy was still very grumpy and not napping well. Saturday night, luckily, both girls finally slept well. It was amazing.

It was also very short lived. Clara woke up Sunday morning with a high fever and stuffy nose. Both girls slept horribly again last night and I'm exhausted. Clara did a lot of crying all night and I know she didn't feel well. I don't think I slept more than 2 consecutive hours. Lucy is never a great sleeper so she got up a few times too. Clara woke up again this morning with another high fever. I'm really hoping both girls are feeling better soon. 

So, the past 4 out of 5 nights have felt like the newborn days all over again. Broken sleep, lots of crying, and exhausted parents. I'm really hoping Clara starts to feel better soon. This mama needs some sleep!