A Shift

I'm used to getting a lot of attention when we go places, I have twin girls. The thing is, I'm used to this attention generally being positive. I do get a lot of "you have your hands full" comments that sometimes bother me (especially when someone says that rather than helping hold the door for me), but generally people are very positive. I hear all the time how well behaved and cute my girls are. It feels good to have people comment on things I've worked so hard on like L & C's behavior. They are good girls because we've worked so hard on following directions and behaving in public. 

The thing is, since Stella joined our family there seems to have been a shift. Instead of the friendly smiles and comments I'm so used to, now it seems people aren't so friendly and supportive. People stare, give dirty looks, roll their eyes, and say negative things. We haven't been too many places, but those positive and nice comments seem to be a thing of the past. I know L & C are tiny and look younger than they are, but whose business is it other than our own how many children we have and how close in age they are? 

I'm struggling with this because I look at my children and feel so lucky and blessed. I'm trying to stay positive and smile back even when people are staring, but I'm nervous about taking all three places by myself. It's tough to feel judged rather than supported. 

I know the confidence and ability to disregard these looks and comments will come with time, but it really doesn't make going places all that enjoyable at the moment. 

On a related note, W goes back to work next week and I'll be trying to handle all three girls by myself. I'm nervous but also looking forward to getting back into the swing of things. I know that the more I take them places and do things with them the easier it will get. It doesn't make me feel any less nervous about it though. 

2 Weeks Down

Today Lucy has been in the spica cast for 2 weeks. The first week was definitely the worst, but we're all still adjusting. 

Sleep has been awful. She's fighting going to sleep and I'm just not comfortable letting her cry while in the cast. She can't communicate with us what her problem is so for now she gets her way. I'm not wild about this, but I don't know what the alternative is. 

She's sleeping in our bed and is very restless. She cries out a lot in her sleep and wakes up crying. I'm not sure if she's just uncomfortable or if she's in pain. She's still stuffy from the cold that keeps lingering. 

We did a much better job of getting out if the house last week. I think we did something pretty much every day. I generally had an extra set of hands for outings so that was definitely helpful. 

I've been busy gathering supplies and crafting for their birthday party that is in 2 weeks! 

This week we have our first follow up appointment with the ortho dr. I'm hoping they'll do x rays so we have a better idea of the timeframe for removing the cast.  

Here are the projects I've been working on for their party. We are doing a twin cherry theme.

The invitation: 

Birthday banner:

Balloon wreath (still needs a number 1 in the middle):

High chair banners:

I can't believe my girls are turning 1 in a few short weeks. I hate to wish away the end of the summer but I'm just so ready to say goodbye to that spica cast! Tomorrow is our appointment so please keep us in your thoughts for good healing news. 

Week 1

It's been a week since the slip on the stairs that led to Lucy's broken femur. To say it's been a rough week is an understatement. On top of having one child in a half-body cast, her sister came down with a cold and started teething on Wednesday. At first I though it was just teething as she had a low-grade fever and runny nose, but I feared a cold as my MiL was sick with one the previous week.

Originally our plans had been to leave the girls with my in-laws on my birthday so W and I could go out for a birthday lunch at the Melting Pot. As it got closer and I learned my MiL had been sick, I decided against bringing the girls to her. The girls have gotten colds 2 other times. Both times it was when I left them with someone who had been sick. I didn't get exposed to it so didn't produce the antibodies in my breast milk. So, instead I decided to keep them with me that day.

Then on Monday we had to spend the night at the hospital. We needed help with Clara. So, she spent the time with my in-laws. Am I surprised she got sick? Not really, but I also can't help but be angry about it. I know my MiL didn't mean it, I just didn't need that on my plate too. Big surprise, Lucy got it too. She started feeling crummy on Saturday and her sleep has really suffered too.

Generally I can count on Clara for 11 hours of solid sleep. Starting Wednesday night she was up multiple times. I hit rock bottom on Saturday night when I'm pretty sure I didn't sleep more than 45 minutes straight. Lucy has been waking a lot too. She's stuffy, she uncomfortable, she's in pain, she's hot, who the heck knows. I do know it breaks my heart to hear her crying so much at night. She's usually very easily comforted at night but that has not been the case this week. She's pretty much sleeping in our bed minus the first part of the night when we put her down in her crib.

Clara has also developed quite a bit of jealousy. In all fairness, I wasn't really thinking much of her those first few days. I was meeting her basic needs but relying on others to do a lot of the playing, snuggling, and loving her. I feel horrible admitting it, but I was just spread too thinly for it all. As a result, she's been very unhappy. When she seemed to be feeling worse on Friday and started really screaming multiple times I brought her to the ped to be sure she didn't have an ear infection. Her ears looked find and the ped pointed out how much her life had changed too. Since then W and I have been much more conscious to give her special attention too. 

I had lots of help last week because I didn't think I could take care of both girls by myself. As beggers can't be choosers, I was stuck with my MiL a few days. I know she means well, but she's just too intense. She can't do anything without asking a million questions. It would be helpful if she just did things to help with the girls or around the house. Instead, it's a thousand questions just to know what to give them for a snack, to know which clothes to put back into the wash (if it's dirty it's a safe assumption it needs to go through again, please don't ask me!) She also lingered far too long. When the girls finally went down for their afternoon naps she would show zero signs of leaving. I felt like I had to be there to entertain her and talk with her when all I wanted was some alone time or a chance to lay down myself. By the end of the week I told W I just couldn't have her help. I was more stressed out and struggling with her around. 

This week I am planning to do more without help, try to plan some kind of small outing every day,and try to get our lives back to as normal as possible. 

Today was a great start. W left for work around 8:30 and my SiL came over around 11:30. I showered and packed some snacks for the girls while they were napping and we went for a walk and picnic in the park.